What happened

I feel like the worst mommy in the world. When the babies cry, all the cries sound the same whether they are hungry, tired or just plain grumpy. Aren't you suppose to know the difference. I am not a novice when it comes to babies since I have been around them my whole life.

DS was going to bed at 9pm and sleeping until 3 or 4 and now the last two nights he won't go to sleep until after 10 or so and then he is waking every 3 hours to eat. Did I do this to myself by not letting him sleep more than 3 hours at a time during the day?

DD hasn't gone to bed before 11 for weeks now. She may wake once but likes to sleep in late. She cries from 8-11. We bath, we swing, we ride...it doesn't matter.

I want to try CIO but DH can't stand to hear them cry for more than one minute. Why can't I get these kids to bed? I do fine during the day when I am alone!

How often do they continue to change frequently before getting a routine?

 

First, I am so sorry you're going through this. But as you probably know it's NORMAL. I was around babies a lot too, but it's just so different when they are your own and your around them 24/7.

Are you bf'g or formula? Maybe something is irritating your babies' tummies? My daughter battled colic and it started around 2 months old. I hope it's not that, because it's just awful to hear them cry inconsolably like that, but the good news about colic is that it ends.

Also, JMO, I wouldn't try CIO at this age yet. I didn't do it at all, but I've read here that the first months they are too young.... From what I've heard on here, it definetly works, but you don't want to start too early.

Anyway, big, big, understanding hugs....

 

You're in a really tough spot. It gets easier very soon. I think they are too young to CIO. Of course, letting them cry for 10 or 15 minutes when you put them down would be ok. Do you have a bedtime routine? Have you tried white noise, swaddling, shushing, swings etc.?

About not knowing the difference in their cries...don't worry, that will come.

I don't let my girls sleep more than 3 hours at a time during the day but they rarely want too. Is this something they do often? Do you consistently have to wake them after 3 hours for each nap? If so, how much are they eating and how often?

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Dec 28 2007, 09:51 AM) [snapback]548637[/snapback]
You're in a really tough spot. It gets easier very soon. I think they are too young to CIO. Of course, letting them cry for 10 or 15 minutes when you put them down would be ok. Do you have a bedtime routine? Have you tried white noise, swaddling, shushing, swings etc.?

About not knowing the difference in their cries...don't worry, that will come.

I don't let my girls sleep more than 3 hours at a time during the day but they rarely want too. Is this something they do often? Do you consistently have to wake them after 3 hours for each nap? If so, how much are they eating and how often?



I give them a bath every night around 7:30 and then they have their bottles and we try to rock them or lay them down to fall asleep on their own. My pedi said that whatever bad habits we had of putting them to bed need to stop or we won't get rid of them (i.e. the swing, rocking them, bouncy chair, etc.)

Every once in a while they will sleep more than three hours but isn't consistently done. DS eats 150cc's every 3 hours but sometimes he doesnt' make it to 3 hours and then I know to start increasing the amount slowly. DD eats between 60-125 cc's at each feeding and will sleep the whole 3 hours no matter the amount. She is the one I wake up more than DS but again, she doesnt' always sleep too much.

I think that the nap before the bath is what is doing it. I try my best to keep them awake during that time but they always fight to sleep. I tried undressing them, playing with them with toys or other acitivities like singing and dancing, reading to them. They just want that nap. I moved the bath time up to 5:30 for a week and that back fired because they would fall asleep for an hour after and then be up and crying for 3 hours after that.

 

QUOTE
I think that the nap before the bath is what is doing it. I try my best to keep them awake during that time but they always fight to sleep. I tried undressing them, playing with them with toys or other acitivities like singing and dancing, reading to them. They just want that nap. I moved the bath time up to 5:30 for a week and that back fired because they would fall asleep for an hour after and then be up and crying for 3 hours after that.



We found with our girls that if we tried to keep them awake it totally backfired. They would scream and cry longer if they were over tired. So, we just let them nap as much as they wanted. I started to follow an eat, play, sleep routine in 2.5 hour intervals (mine are BF so they don't go 3 hours). They wake, I feed them, we play for 45 minutes or so and then it's back to the crib for a nap. Sometimes the nap lasts 45 minutes, sometimes 2 hours. They wake up and we start the whole thing again...this goes on until 9 p.m. when they are done for the night (except the occasional 3 a.m. feeding). We do the bedtime routine around 6 and then put them to bed (we used to do this at 9). When they wake at 7:30, we feed them in the dark in their room and then put them right back down and then they wake again at 9:00 and that's the last feeding.

My point is that we follow the eat, play, sleep all day which means they sleep often and we never keep them awake when they want to sleep. It's totally changed their sleep habits. I think if they want to sleep - let them. Maybe do your bath routine at 8 and treat everything before that like another nap.

They are just trying to organize their sleep and figure it out right now. It will get better. It is SO much easier for us now and we are only a month further along than you...so, right around the corner.

Hang in there!

 

QUOTE(b/gtwinmom07 @ Dec 28 2007, 03:44 PM) [snapback]548701[/snapback]
I give them a bath every night around 7:30 and then they have their bottles and we try to rock them or lay them down to fall asleep on their own. My pedi said that whatever bad habits we had of putting them to bed need to stop or we won't get rid of them (i.e. the swing, rocking them, bouncy chair, etc.)

Every once in a while they will sleep more than three hours but isn't consistently done. DS eats 150cc's every 3 hours but sometimes he doesnt' make it to 3 hours and then I know to start increasing the amount slowly. DD eats between 60-125 cc's at each feeding and will sleep the whole 3 hours no matter the amount. She is the one I wake up more than DS but again, she doesnt' always sleep too much.

I think that the nap before the bath is what is doing it. I try my best to keep them awake during that time but they always fight to sleep. I tried undressing them, playing with them with toys or other acitivities like singing and dancing, reading to them. They just want that nap. I moved the bath time up to 5:30 for a week and that back fired because they would fall asleep for an hour after and then be up and crying for 3 hours after that.


I wouldn't CIO yet....way too young. It also sounds like DD has colic. Claire would scream from 7-10 everynight and nothing made it better....it shall pass soon. Also, I cannot believe your pedi said this. Ours said not to let them sleep in the swing at night, but anything else was fine...especially bouncer or carseat as long as we put it in the crib at night so they would know the enivornment. Carlie just stopped sleeping her bouncer a week ago and only because we had to elevate the crib for both girls. You need to do what you need to do to get them to sleep...they will transition to their crib just fine when they get a little older. Let them sleep where they are most comfortable. Out of my 3 girls, Claire is only one that slept in the crib from the get go. The other two was carseat and bouncer.

April

 

My twins got worse for about 4 days before they turned the corner and started getting better. We went from holding them to 11 to them sleeping in their room at 7:30 in one week, I don't know how it happened, it just did. You are in a tough spot, but it will get better, and sooner than you think. Hopefully this is the worse before better part for you.

 

Also wanted to add in about the CIO bit, with the go ahead of our pedi, we have done modified CIO and it has worked like a charm, we lay them down awake, say goodnight and leave. After 5 minutes we go comfort them but don't pick them up, then leave when they are calm. I tried it 2 weeks ago and failed miserable, this week they are ready for it, and have been going to sleep within 10-15 minutes of laying down, sometimes fussing, sometimes not. It may not be for everyone, but this modified version has worked for us and will hopefully teach them to fall asleep on their own so we never have to do full blown CIO.

 

It has not gotten better. Tonight they are both sleeping in their swings because that was the only way we could get them to sleep. They didn't even want to be held. Last night they slept in the crib but not until 10:30 pm. I guess I need to take it one night at a time and just do what works for that time frame so that I can sleep too! I am just worried I am promoting bad habits for them to fall asleep. But I can't stress too much, going through so much right now I just need to wait another week or two when things slow down and then reasses the situation. I guess 2 weeks of bad habits won't be too bad as long as I can break them........right?

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Dec 28 2007, 03:54 PM) [snapback]548711[/snapback]
My point is that we follow the eat, play, sleep all day which means they sleep often and we never keep them awake when they want to sleep. It's totally changed their sleep habits. I think if they want to sleep - let them. Maybe do your bath routine at 8 and treat everything before that like another nap.

They are just trying to organize their sleep and figure it out right now.

Hang in there!



This was our experience too. Someone told me: eat, play, sleep. Repeat. Our girls established their own schedule and started sleeping through the night around 12-14 weeks 11-6, then 7-6.

Sleep begets sleep. I would try to let them sleep as much as they want during the day (unless it significantly interferes with their eating).
Our bedtime routine also started at around that time and worked wonders:
bath, bottle, bed. Sleepytime music on the cd player. Swaddled, then later, sleepsacks. Hang in there!

 

QUOTE(jcs @ Dec 30 2007, 11:43 PM) [snapback]551520[/snapback]
This was our experience too. Someone told me: eat, play, sleep. Repeat. Our girls established their own schedule and started sleeping through the night around 12-14 weeks 11-6, then 7-6.

Sleep begets sleep. I would try to let them sleep as much as they want during the day (unless it significantly interferes with their eating).
Our bedtime routine also started at around that time and worked wonders:
bath, bottle, bed. Sleepytime music on the cd player. Swaddled, then later, sleepsacks. Hang in there!



Great advice! Eat Play Sleep is the key. I would not try to keep them awake longer, tends to backfire and also, CIO definitely too young at 3 months. We didn't do it til about 7 months. Bedtime routine is essential also. Keep doing the same thing as pp said and it will pay off in time. It took us til about 4-5 months to get a good working schedule going with the twins. Swaddling is helpful also.

Good luck! You are almost out of the twinfant fog!!!! :hug99:

 

I think it is too early to CIO, but around 3 months we hit a really hard spot, then it got better. I just kept with consistent schedules and lots of love and tenderness when they were upset.

 

Right about that age is when we started doing a super early bedtime. It didn't work perfectly but it definitely helped a lot! We would start the bath routine around 5:30 or 6 at the latest and have them in bed no later than 6:30. They would then sleep until at least 1am and then 4. That went on for a while and then we went through another rough patch of them waking up every 3 hours but now we are almost STTN. Hang in there, as soon as you start some kind of schedule/routine things will get a lot better.