What does your day look like?

Ok, things are actually getting harder I think... (So tired I cant type!) How do you balance your attention between all 3 (or more) kids? Everyday ends with a guilt trip for me because I feel like I havent spent a sufficient amount of time with each of them.
As the boys grow they want more and more attention. I started wearing our fussier one in a sling and that helps, but then I have tons of guilt for leaving the other one in the bouncy! My daughter was doing really well at first, but now she is acting out in the worst of ways... SHE WONT TAKE A NAP! And yes, it's very obvious she still needs one. I am dying here! Then I feel guilty because I am SOOOO grumpy with her around nap time for not sleeping. The other day she said "Lets just send them back to God and get new ones...." Yikes!
So what do you do during the day? How do you balance taking care of the home, ALL the kids, and still feel sane? Any tips to share???
Thanks so much.....
Sandy

 

QUOTE(EllasMom @ Sep 25 2007, 05:56 PM) [snapback]423517[/snapback]
Ok, things are actually getting harder I think... (So tired I cant type!) How do you balance your attention between all 3 (or more) kids? Everyday ends with a guilt trip for me because I feel like I havent spent a sufficient amount of time with each of them.
As the boys grow they want more and more attention. I started wearing our fussier one in a sling and that helps, but then I have tons of guilt for leaving the other one in the bouncy! My daughter was doing really well at first, but now she is acting out in the worst of ways... SHE WONT TAKE A NAP! And yes, it's very obvious she still needs one. I am dying here! Then I feel guilty because I am SOOOO grumpy with her around nap time for not sleeping. The other day she said "Lets just send them back to God and get new ones...." Yikes!
So what do you do during the day? How do you balance taking care of the home, ALL the kids, and still feel sane? Any tips to share???
Thanks so much.....
Sandy


Its almost like i could have written this myself... I am always holding the fussier one... and i am tired and grumpy.. My DD is acting out and being rude and mean.. She does still help me with the babies.. I told her that when there is no baby in mommies arms, then its her time.. But it seems like there is always a baby in my arms.. They both have colic, so if its not one its the other... Yesterday was such a bad day that i actually told her that i was sorry for doing this to her... The only thing that keeps my sanity is that Grandma takes her once a week for a sleep over... DH works 15 hours a day.. so not much help there either..

Sorry i dont have any tips!!! Just a I know how you feel!!! :hug99:

 

I know I'm not exactly in your shoes , but close. I hate to say it but the saving grace for me has been preschool. My ds is going three days for 3 hrs and it's heaven! He goes in the mornings. I can shop for groceries or come home and spend some down time with the babies and toss dinner in the crockpot. Then we pick him up and come home for lunch and then naps. Right now I get him into his room and let him play then I go nurse down the babies then come back in a read him some books and snuggle. This has helped us get into a better daytime routine.

When my babies were at your point I have to admitt, I had more help. Take it if someone offers, beg for it, pay for it if it's possible. You need help getting yourself and your toddler adjusted. Also, someone (you or DH) needs to schedule in some alone time with your toddler. We don't do it as much as we should but we try. Plus he always gets read to before nap and bafore bed alone with either mom or dad. I try to snuggle him alone a few times a day if the babies are playing on the florr (again this will come in time).

No answers, only suggestions and lots of sympathy. It is not easy these twins and an older sib.
Mj

 

QUOTE(EllasMom @ Sep 26 2007, 12:56 AM) [snapback]423517[/snapback]
So what do you do during the day? How do you balance taking care of the home, ALL the kids, and still feel sane? Any tips to share???


Sorry things are hard right now. I have a DD that will turn 3 next month and there are days that are just taxing. Like tonight when I was giving her a bath and I was just done! I know that she just wants to play but I am exhausted (DH out of town for work) and I had just finished feeding, bathing, reading and getting the boys down. Your twins are much younger than mine so at that time we were just in survival mode. I did not worry about how much attention I was paying to whom. I just did what needed to be done to meet everyones needs the best I could. There is just not enough time in the day at that point. My Ped gave me some great advice for that time and it was just spend 10 minutes a day one on one with the toddler and gradually increase when you can. I took it and ran. Now when the boys are down for their naps we spend time together. And about one weekend day a month I take her and do some mommy and me time and a few errands here and there she and I do them. It will eventually balance out. Kids are very resillient and they will bounce back. My dirty little secret is Noggin. If I need a break she will watch TV and then I can get some cleaning done. But I take care of the house last and DH kicks into full speed when he is home in that department.

Those are tough months that you are both in...it will get easier. And the kids will all be fine!


rachel

 

I promise it will get better. I have a two year old and for the first 8 weeks I totally thought, "what have I DONE!!??" I ended up in tears most days. It was soooooo hard. My two year old turned into a monster. If you were to have been at my house today you wouldn't know we had the same three kids. My two year old LOVES his brother and sister. he always "plays" with them (it is so cute I end up crying...but for totally different reasons than the first 2 months!) the babies are able to entertain themselves for much longer, they like to interact with each other, and they eventually take NAPS!! Now that mine are FINALLY napping---that's a whole other story---I can actually spend time with my older one, or if he's napping too I can get stuff done. I promise you are in the thick of it right now. Hang in there. it WILL get better!

Reyna

 

Oh, I have soooo been there. :love0028:

My daughter was 22 months when the twins were born (now 6 mo) and as the PP said, I had so many dark days when I just thought "what have I done????" The first 8 weeks were absolutely brutal, brutal, brutal. To make a really long story short, I ended up getting really sick post partum and being hospitalized for almost 2 weeks with pneumonia and pleurisy when the boys were 1 month old.

Around 10 weeks, I started to see the light and it's gotten progressively better ever since. Every day is a balancing act, there is no question about that. I am going non stop from the time I wake until the time I go to bed. Now that they are sleeping well at night, I get a few hours to myself in the evening, which is pure bliss.

Without question, the biggest challenge of taking care of 3 small children at once is juggling feedings and bedtime, particularly when I am alone. Feeding the babies while having to feed my daughter, trying to prepare dinner is truly a juggling act. In the beginning, I would try my best to stagger their feedings. I fed the babies early, then fed my daughter while they slept, then feed the babies while she napped, etc. Of course, there are many times when their feedings overlap and I'm required to be in two places at once. I find it helpful to set my daughter down with some puzzles while I feed the babies. I also eventually purchased some bottle holders to use when I had to feed both babies at once. I realized that every day was going to present its unique challenges, despite my best attempts to keep things consistent.

One thing that also helped, was picking one day a week to devote to having a Mommy and Me day. I would have my SIL watch the twins. I did have to pay her, but it was worth it because it kept me feeling connected to my daughter.

I have returned to work 30 hrs a week and DD goes to preschool, but it was a rough summer. One thing that saved me was getting out of the house. It wasn't easy, but it gave the day some structure, even if it was just a simple trip to the park. I also had a friend watch DD and went to meetings that my twin's club had where I could meet and compare stories with other new twin moms. If you don't belong to your local twin's club, I would highly recommend joining.

Having returned to work, I am now in the midst of trying to balance work life, home life and 3 young children. There is a lot of planning, for almost every facet of our lives. I consider myself a person who thrives on this, and yet at times I am just overwhelmed with the magnitutude. But then I watch my little girl take her infant brother's hands and try to do "Patty Cake" with him and I just melt. David gives me that toothless grin and William lets out a gut busting giggle and I feel instant happiness. Nothing can come close to the feeling of pride I have watching all 3 of them grow, change and develop. A few months ago, we seriously doubted if our lives would ever be the same. I've come to the realization that they will never be the same, but I wouldn't want them to be. We are truly blessed.

To answer your original question -- our day usually looks like this...

6:30-7:00 Boys Wake

7:00 Feed 8 oz bottle

7:30 Daughter wakes, give her breakfast

8:30 Feed babies rice cereal/veggies/fruits

9:00 Put back down for nap

11:00 Feed 8 oz bottle

12:00 Feed daughter lunch

12:30 Put babies and daughter down for naps

2-3:00 Feed babies 8 oz bottle

3:00 Go out!! To the park, for a walk, somewhere, just as long as I get out of the house!

4ish -- Give them a veggie

4:30 The boys will usually take a catnap, but not always if we are out

6:00 Dinner for daughter

6:30 Bathe and feed babies their final bottle, then bed.

 

I'm so glad to be able to read these posts! I'm new here at the site and so far mostly in just read and learn mode.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant now with identical twins and if we get to 34/35 weeks as is the current plan, my daughter will have just turned 4 and my son will be 20 months! I'm already really concerned about the first weeks and months and just trying to get as many ideas and read as many experiences as possible.

 

Oh my gosh, thank you all for your posts! I m about to cry reading them all. I appreciate your encouragment and just knowing I am not a horrible mom who is the only one that has this problem! Thanks for the advice as well. One of my friends is going to start watching Ella one morning a week. Hopefully that will help. You all are awesome.... Ok, I am going to have a great day now darn it!!! Even if it kills me!!!