Ok, it's not that I am trying to be petty or that I want people to spend money, but my shower is Saturday and there are only 4 things purchased off of my registry! Like I said I am not trying to be all about the gifts, but we are BROKE! When I say broke I mean that we are used to making more than 2 times what we are currently making. We are unable to pay our bills because of the lack of income including our heat, eletric, phone, cars, credit cards ect. People in our family know this and are not even close to where we are financially. I have been trying to get stuff second hand and at yard sales ect. but we still need a lot! Right now the only things that we have are a co-sleeper, 2 carseats and a pack of onsies off of our registry! We saved our daughter's crib so we have one of those, but we sold most of her other things before we moved. Things this time around have been really stressful since I am a teacher and we moved to another toward the end of last school year. I tried getting other office jobs here, but no luck. Now I am at the point where I would be taken out of work... Still no job. I am currently selling anthing I can think of to get groceries and this is before there are 2 more babies in the house! Now I look at my registry and no one has gotten us anything! I am sure that this sounds petty and that people are wondering why we would have a baby if we couldn't afford it... Well, it wasn't planned exactly, and we did not think that it would be to hard for me to find work, but apparently it is and now we have to deal with it.
I'm SS! I hope that you get what you need! Are you a member of myspace? Sometimes friends will give you things that they no longer want, or for a reasonable price. I'm a member of a local mom's group on there, and it's been a great resource. Many prayers!
I said a prayer for a financial miracle in your situation and for some peace for you. Hang in there. Help is on the way!
Don't fret yet! I know alot of people that buy at the last minute. I was bad and checked my registry when I got married and I would say that literally 80% of the stuff was bought the day before and day OF my shower. Plus, just remember, the registry is something to go off of, people may buy something similar or the identical thing elsewhere. My MIL did that. She found a great sale at a different store and bought it there but had no way of taking if off my registry, kwim? Good luck!!
Have no fear, I too knew when my baby shower was and checked my registry religiously before the shower and was a little panicky (I am a soon to be single mother of twins) because there was not much purchased from it. But as it turns out most of my family was either using my registry as a guide for their shopping or just didnt have the stuff marked as purchased when they bought it. I got almost everything on my registry, and enough cash and gift cards to go purchase what I did not get and then some!!! So dont start freaking until after your shower, you might be surprised at how much you actually do get!!
I am so sorry and totally understand! Things were so bad with us that a month after the babies were born my dh was nearly gray!!!! We were just thankful that even though we were not making any money, we did not have any hospital bills from the babies!!! Thank goodness for ins!!!! That being said, all of our gifts were bought even as late as the day of our shower! So don't check that registry anymore! IT will be good to be surprised. We bought our 3nd crib from Kmart on sale for like $79. I swear it is better than the more expensive one we bought for dd when she was born!!! LOL!! And we were not about to buy a new car (I just could not figure out how to register for that! LOL!) so we had to somehow fit 3 carseats in the back seat of the Jeep! We bought brand new older models of Eddie Bauer car seats at Big Lots! I know, both are random, but all have worked even to this point. Also, bill companies will work with you, even your credit cards. Call them and explain what is going on. See if there is any assistance. Also, check out WiC, since your finanial status has changed, they may be able to help once the babies arrive. We made litterally something like $63 too much for assistane for a family of 5! Check it all out and see what helps! Once again, been there done that and it stinks!!! BUT THE RWARDS ARE INCREDIBLE!!!! 3 bundles of joy! Pm if you ever need a shoulder!
also, let people know you're open to hand me downs. i have a dresser full of everything the boys need for the first 6 months and haven't had to spend a penny. and the stuff is like brandnew because the babies only wear them for a few months. regarding your registry, i agree with above posters. and you can probably always return things that you don't need for items you do need.
Try not to worry too much! I was in the exact same boat as you at my 1st shower two weeks ago....the morning of the shower I checked my registry and only 4 things had been purchased! A lot of people like to buy matching baby clothes - I got a ton of clothes! Also, I noticed that several people had bought things that were on my registry but they bought them from a different store, so it wasn't marked on my registry as being bought. After the shower I went back and marked items that I had received and I had really gotten more from the registry than first appeared. I hope the same thing happens for you!
I had the same problem with my first. Everyone wanted to buy what they wanted instead of what we needed. We were having the first girl in my husband's entire family so I ended up with tons of pink outfits...dresses, blankets, socks, etc. We had tons of clothes but not much else. As I went through and opened everything at the shower, it was actually difficult not to break down and cry knowing everything we still needed. Thankfully I have an awesome mother-in-law who was watching my registry also and saw that we were going to need a lot. When I opened her card I nearly fell to the floor because she ended up buying us a $1000 gift card for Babies R Us! We were able to get everything we needed and then some. Don't lose hope!!!!
Don't fret just yet because people didn't buy off our registry until the night before/morning of. And (and I hate to admit this), we took some of the more frivolous things we got at our shower back and purchased the rest of the basics that we needed. We also ended up with alot of BRU gift cards, and between those and the returns we were able to get pretty much all the necessities. Good luck, I know how hard the financial stress is, I've only been working part time all spring/summer, and was pulled off work a few weeks earlier than I wanted, getting used to living on one salary is a huge adjustment.
Aww, that's really tough! My husband took a new, lower paying job as a career change right before we found out we were pregnant with twins. We've really had to tighten our belts (figuratively speaking, anyway, haha!) this summer. But I agree with the person who said that you should let people know that you're open to hand-me-downs. We've already had people give us maternity clothes, baby clothes for both the girl and boy, one of the carseats, and an offer to give us their crib. Even someone at my DH's work gave us a bag of girl's clothes and one of boy's clothes--I don't even know her, and my DH doesn't know her that well. Sometimes it just takes getting the word out. Somebody's cousin's aunt might have something she's been wanting someone special to have. And--not to sound heartless--if people give you stuff you don't need, you can try returning it for something you do need, especially if it still has tags, or even selling it on a place like Ebay or craigslist for $ for something that you do need (or you could try bartering it on craigslist or one of the mother sites). I've Ebayed a couple of non-baby items that we don't really need, just to loosen the pinch a little bit. I've had mixed success, but enough that it's made me feel better. And sometimes there are maneuvers you can do with credit card companies, etc., to try to negotiate for a better rate. Hang in there, and try to focus on the beautiful lives you're about to bring into the world.
Thank you for all the supportive comments. This pregnancy has definately been an interesting journey. My daughter was the first grand and great-grandchild on my parent's side and the baby on my husband's side. He was a very late in life baby and his siblings were so excited to have a new baby in the family. This time everyone is happy... I think. My parents are thrilled to be having 2 little boys in the family since I was an only child and there are no others. My husband's mother is not exactly thrilled about twins, making comments like I am too lazy to handle 2 babies and such, I have tried to ignore these, but it is hard sometimes! We moved in February back to our home state due to a transfer through my husband's company and it turns out that he is actually making about 2/3 what he made before we moved! I have NEVER not worked and have NEVER had trouble getting a job, but I have had no luck since we moved with the exception of a temp job that lasted 2 weeks! Normally my income is about 10,000 morethan my husband's so, this has been a difficult road. Thankfully, I have had a pretty uneventful pregnancy, other than exhaustion, moodiness and pelvic separation and other normal pregnancy discomforts I have been lucky. I appreciate the kind words of advice and the support from everyone here. It helps a lot to know that others have been there or are there!
There's been lots of good advice, so let me just add to it. First - check to see if there's a Mothers of Multiples group in your area - those women are amazing and will come through for you for *anything*. Second - consignment stores are great, as is Craig's List! Third - I worked in the bridal registry of a major department store and I can tell you easily 75% of shower / wedding gifts are purchased the day of the event. Don't fret too much yet! I'm having my shower on Sunday and only 2 things have been purchased, but I'm sure that Sunday night, many more will be gone. Hang in there!
Ditto on the pp suggestion of checking cragislist.org Clothing and equipment are sold for reasonable prices. You can also post a wanted ad with your situation and what you can pay for items. You can also check freecycle.org People there are giving away items-I've freecycled a highchair myself as well as bath rings that I didn't sell at our garage sale. There was a crib and a stroller listed last time I checked my local group. I've seen random lots of diapers listed too. Good luck!
We have been getting hand me downs from everyone it seems like. When people (complete strangers) find out that we are having twins they seem to just hand us stuff.. we also bought a crib at a garage sale for 6$! Also for the food problems... what about signing up for WIC and food stamps? Thats what they are there for.. You shouldnt have to sell your stuff to buy food. I have totally been in the same boat!!!
Just an update... :mellow: Well, we really only did get 2 car seats, a playpen and a cosleeper. The rest was all clothes. I have absolutely no idea what we are going to do! I have tried to find a twins club in the area, but there aren't any that I can find, I have been to yard sales all summer, and still continue to go, but the season is coming to an end! I cried for 2 days after the shower, and tried not to show my disappointment at the shower, but when my mother said it looks like you got everything you need I nearly flipped out! What about a stroller, swings, playmats, bouncers, bottles another crib? I have a 3 year-old, and I know what things are necessities and what things are just nice to have... Not to mention the fact that we have the car seats, but they don't fit in our cars with our daughter's seat! The hospital is an hour a way so it's not like we can walk home! I litterally had thoughs about giving the babies up for adoption since we can not come close to providing for them...
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you got so many clothes at your shower, we have gotten a lot of clothes too. Is there someone you could go to for help, like your parents or your in-laws? I'm sure things will turn around for you soon, just hang in there! Good things happen to good people!
QUOTE(Stephanie1074 @ Aug 28 2007, 02:23 PM) [snapback]383598[/snapback] Just an update... :mellow: Well, we really only did get 2 car seats, a playpen and a cosleeper. The rest was all clothes. I have absolutely no idea what we are going to do! I have tried to find a twins club in the area, but there aren't any that I can find, I have been to yard sales all summer, and still continue to go, but the season is coming to an end! I cried for 2 days after the shower, and tried not to show my disappointment at the shower, but when my mother said it looks like you got everything you need I nearly flipped out! What about a stroller, swings, playmats, bouncers, bottles another crib? I have a 3 year-old, and I know what things are necessities and what things are just nice to have... Not to mention the fact that we have the car seats, but they don't fit in our cars with our daughter's seat! The hospital is an hour a way so it's not like we can walk home! I litterally had thoughs about giving the babies up for adoption since we can not come close to providing for them... I am so sorry that you did not get what you needed at your shower. Are there any consignment shops/second hand stores in your area? I hope things work out!
I say keep faith alive! You still have a little ways to go and you might be surprised at what your parents or DH's parents pitch in! We haven't bought much of anything at this point, due to finances....and I'm hoping that Mom comes to the rescue again..LOL. Hang in there, things WILL work out, I promise!!!!!!!!!!
2 carseats, a playpen and a cosleeper are pretty decent gifts! I would think you could get by without the cosleeper if you wanted to return that to get some of the smaller necessities; is that an option for you?
QUOTE(dunkles @ Aug 29 2007, 12:32 AM) [snapback]384416[/snapback] 2 carseats, a playpen and a cosleeper are pretty decent gifts! I would think you could get by without the cosleeper if you wanted to return that to get some of the smaller necessities; is that an option for you? Well, the co-sleeper was used so it is not returnable and since we don't have a crib I think we will need to have it to have a place for them to sleep. It's not that the gifts that we got were bad its just that we got only 4 things from our registry. I actually got bottle liners with no bottles... what is the idea on that one? Aside from that I got all clothing which we obviously did not register for since they are easy to buy second hand. I know with our daughter we really used and would have been in trouble without our swing and bouncer not to mention our crib. If I tought that we could buy other things ourselves or that others would buy things for us since they know we can't I wouldn't feel like crying and falling apart every second of every day. I have never heard of anyone getting so little of what they need from thier registry. Not to mention, that we didn't even get a mattress for the crib we have! We would use our daughter's but she is!
Honestly, I'm impressed with the big items that you got. I have never expected people to buy the big stuff on my registry like car seats, play pens, etc. The biggest item I ever got when I was pg with DD was a $100 pack n play, but that was a group gift from my office, so it wasn't just one person that bought it. This time, I am just hoping for the changing pad, bath seats, and other small items we need and have been working on getting the bigger things ourselves. I got a twin nursing pillow (retails for $56) for $8 at a consignment store. I got my car seats plus a double snap n go stroller for $100 second hand from another twin mom. That same mom gave me a Snuggli and a Boppy for free, as well as some maternity clothes (I met her on Craigslist when she bought my DD's slide from me. A few weeks later I found out we were having twins and remembered she had twin boys, so I had emailed her and she started offering me stuff, it was super sweet and very helpful). I still have a swing from my DD, but if I need a second one, I can get it at consignment for $20-$30. Bouncy seats are usually about $10 at consignment. Start with one of everything, and go back later for a second if you find you need it or if you can. One can be in a swing while the other is in a bouncy seat if need be -- you don't *need* two of everything. If you buy little by little, it's not *as* hard to do (trust me, we are strapped financially, too). I've got my list of what we need in order of importance and have been buying them as I can, right down the line, starting with most important items. I also have two lists -- one for things I will need right away, and things that I won't need until 6+ months or so (like high chairs, regular double stroller, etc) so I'm just buying off of my "need now" list. Also, you have an older DD -- do you take her stuff for consignment? I took a ton of my DDs clothes and things to consignment and then a few weeks later, had a nice credit at the store that i was able to use for stuff I needed. You can do it with a little planning and some bargain hunting. Also, the co-sleeper usually can convert to a pack n play, so if yours does, return the playpen you got and get something else that you need.
Did you get gift receipts with the clothing, maybe you can return some of it? I got so many clothing items, and many duplicate clothing items. I returned a lot of it and exchanged for things we needed. I feel for you. My SIL just had her shower and she desperately needed baby stuff and got basically nothing from her registry. Way too many clothes. I know she can't afford to buy it, but her problem is that she is refusing to take any of my hand me downs because she wants her special pattern and for it all to match...ugh! I guess she thinks some magic fairy is going to deliver all this expensive matching stuff to her. I guess I always thought people got most of what they registered for, but that doesn't seem to be the case. We were very lucky in that regard.
I am so sorry you didn't get much else. I understand why you would be upset. I honestly think it's the twin thing. People think it's so cute to buy matching outfits. I got SO MUCH clothes that I guiltily (is that a word?? lol) sold it on craigslist. I kept all the tags on it and sold it NWT (new with tags). Have you thought about that? Sign up for freecycle in your area and put a post stating what you need. You will be surprised what people give away on there. I've seen people give bassinets, bouncers, etc. very often. Seriously post what you posted here and I bet people would love to help you out. Good luck!!
QUOTE(Babies4Susan @ Aug 29 2007, 01:54 PM) [snapback]385067[/snapback] I guess I always thought people got most of what they registered for, but that doesn't seem to be the case. We were very lucky in that regard. When I had my dd and this time, I received almost nothing from my registry. In fact, this time when registering, I did it as a guideline for myself, so that I would know what I needed and if I received gift cards or anything that needed to be returned, I could just pick up the next needed item from the registry. I think the key to getting everything you need without spending a lot of money is to be a huge bargain shopper. BRU just sent a flyer out yesterday -- there are discounts on crib mattresses and other basics -- with coupons. Also, you may need to drive a ways, but seek out consignment shops. Also, when people found out I was having twins, they started offering me tons of things. One woman I work with said "I hope you don't think I'm using you to clean out my attic." I said "Bring it on!" Can you let people know that you're open to hand me downs? Do you know someone who has a 3 year old that you could ask to borrow their crib? Is there a local Shoppers Review or Pennysaver that you can peruse for items? And, of course, try Craig's List. Do a wanted to buy there. And do one here on Twinstuff, too. It sounds like you'll need to be more creative than if you had the spare money lying around to buy everything new, but you'll be able to do it. Let us know how it goes!
