What do you do when your twins fight over a toy?

My girls are fighting over toys and so far I haven't intervined. They seem to be pretty equal in winning and losing. Usually, one has a toy, the other tries to take it, they both scream at each other for 5-10seconds and then one moves on to soemthing else. Here are my options as I see them:
1) Let them fight it out and learn to deal with it
2) Give it back to the one that had it first and tell the other to wait for their turn.
3) Give it to the one that took it and tell the other to share
4) Take the toy away so neither has it.

I want to set up a pattern now, so that I don't have to spend the next 18 years breaking up fights. I want them to learn to share, take turns and work together. Any advise?

 

My girls are fighting over toys and so far I haven't intervined. They seem to be pretty equal in winning and losing. Usually, one has a toy, the other tries to take it, they both scream at each other for 5-10seconds and then one moves on to soemthing else. Here are my options as I see them:
1) Let them fight it out and learn to deal with it
2) Give it back to the one that had it first and tell the other to wait for their turn.
3) Give it to the one that took it and tell the other to share
4) Take the toy away so neither has it.

I want to set up a pattern now, so that I don't have to spend the next 18 years breaking up fights. I want them to learn to share, take turns and work together. Any advise?

 

It's usually Aaron that takes toys away from Jaden. When that happens I go to Aaron and ask him to give the toy back. I tell him that Jaden was not done playing with it and we need to wait for his turn. If Aaron doesn't return the toy on his own after me asking I will gently guide his hand with the toy toward Jaden make him give it back. I comfort Aaron like " I know it is hard to wait" or "You really wanted to play with it, waiting can be frustrating sometimes". As I comfort him I usually bring him somewhere else and offer another toy while he waits for his turn.
I make sure that I ask Jaden to share when Aaron waited a while and let his brother have a turn.

Aaron now says "share, share..." anytime he wants something that Jaden has. But he pretty much stopped just taking it away.

Good luck no matter what you do and be consistant.

 

I am glad you posted this because mine just started doing the same thing!

 

I have a hands first rule: who ever touched it first gets to play with it. When the other tries to take it away, I say, "No, she was playing with it first, you have to wait your turn." If she tries to take it again I say it again and if it's a third time, I say it and then redirect her to something else. Funny thing is often by the time I've redirected them onto something else, the other one drops the toy that they wanted and goes on to something else. Go figure!

 

I give the toy back to whomever had it first. Granted this isn't a huge problem with 6 month olds, but it's The Rule at my house. The other person has to find something else to do.

 

Right now I just let them work it out. They only really fight over binkies. But if it were really a problem I would give it back to who ever had it first.

 

I was going to ask something similar, too. I have one twin who is always the taker, and so I've been taking things back and telling him no. But then I started thinking I didn't want to develop a relationship where one twin is always getting bailed out by mom. My girl twin is so much less aggressive than my other two kids. So I started leaving them alone at first to see what happens, and now she is starting to take things back. I'll still intervene, but I'm letting them work it out themselves at first.

And the pacifier thing is insane! Once I watched them steal each others' pacifiers back and forth about four or five times. All I could think was, "You just HAD that pacifier! Give me a break!" Hahah.

 

Lol both of mine do the same thing. They have started taking what the other one has. So like Sophie has a toy, Jack wants it, then sophie will want it back and then Jack wants it back! It either stops when one of them gets bored or one them gets pushed over and i have to intervine. I just try and let them sort it out theirselves unless one of them gets hurt. x

 

This must be a twin issue. Hailey is the prominent one and usualy takes from Gracey and she doesn't seem to mind and just goes on. And every now and then Gracey will do it to Hailey. Most of the time I let them work it out unless it seems to bother one of them and like others I give it to the one who had it first and try to explain. I even tried giving them each the same toy and they both always want the one the other one has. At this age it is cute to watch and I think they will do just fine as they get older as long as the parent communicates.

 

My kids fight over everything, I don't care if it's the same toy. I'm in the same boat with you, I'm not sure how to stop the fighting.

 

I usually laugh (which I know I shouldn't) and say "swiper no swiping"! Annalise is usually the culprit and I let them work it out. Annalise has the upper hand right now because she is more mobile. When Jilly gets going, she's bigger - look out Annalise.

I don't anticipate getting in the mix too often unless someone might get hurt. They like to pull hair and grab each others faces - we're working on that.

 

I laugh and take pictures.