What do you do when they won't eat

My twins are becoming picky I think. I try to feed them a variety of foods and I know they won't like some things however even the ones they used to like is going to the no eat list. For the past couple of days they haven't eaten a great deal which I know it could be teething or just a lull but it worries me b/c I don't want to fall into a pattern like with my older ds. He was so picky around this age and it lasted until now and he is 8! I don't want to become a short order cook and fix them a separate meal from ours I want them to be able to eat what we have too and so far it had been working. Now all of a sudden it's changed. Any advice on what I should do? Last night for example they wouldn't eat much of dinner so I just took them out of their high chair when they started to throw food which is a signal they are done. They had a sippy of milk before bed and that was it. They seem hungry earlier this morning but otherwise ok. Is it ok to try to get them to know this is it and if you don't eat it then fine they will eat at next meal? Are they to young to understand or should I throw a snack in there before bed along with their sippy?

Thanks alot!

 

At that age, I tried to make sure they had at least one thing they would eat. I would serve them what we were having and if it didn't include something I knew they'd eat, I'd have some fruit, mutligrain cheerios, whole wheat bread, cheese, etc nearby so they could have a serving of that too. If they didn't eat, they didn't eat. I also tried to hold off giving them their milk until the meal was about over. Kids are really good about eating what they need. It's our job to provide a balanced, healthy diet...it's their job to eat it or not. You won't do any harm in not being a short order cook!

 

I would definately give a snack before bedtime and before brushing teeth. My boys are 21 months and they still get 3 snacks a day. Dinner is at 5, then bath, snack at 6:15, brush teeth and bed at 7. As for being picky they do have their fussy times when they eat very little of what I serve so I figure they are not that hungry cause if they were they'd eat it especially since I have always given them a variety.

 

I do the same thing as ktfan. I serve the meal and give them one option (right now it is pb&j, though I realize your kids are probably not eating pb yet). If they don't want what is being served, pb&j is the option. Sometimes it's cereal and yogurt. Or some other protein/carb source that is super easy for me to make. I fell into the habit of being a "short order cook" for awhile and realized that mealtimes were becoming more and more hectic and less and less enjoyable. There are days when my kids eat very little for dinner, but my pedi has told me repeatedly that kids this young only really need 2 meals and several snacks a day. So, when they've eaten well for breakfast and lunch, I expect that dinner will be light. When they don't eat much at lunch, I try not to fill them up with snacks in the afternoon so that they are hungry enough at dinner to try some new things. It's a struggle for me not to obsess about what they are eating, which is why I instituted the one backup option plan. If they are hungry enough, they will eat one of their two choices.

 

My girls are also very very picky eaters which I read is very normal around this age. They are realizing that they have a say in what they eat and don't eat. It's kind of one of those becoming independent things I think. My one friend gave me some really good advice. She said you make what you make and if they don't eat it then they don't eat it. They won't die from missing a meal or 2. Chances are at some point (probably the next meal) they will eat. If you continue to cater to making 3 different meals for every meal, you will go crazy (which I have and sometimes and
still do). I have been trying really hard to say "This is what is for lunch. Take it or leave it." Obviously I don't give them something that I KNOW they don't like. Lorien will not eat a slice of cheese or eat bologna. She gives a look of disgust if it's even on her plate. I do have a few staples that I know they will always eat so sometimes if they don't eat the meal then I will just throw some crackers or grapes on their plate but I no longer cook something and then spend time cooking something else and something else. I just don't have the time, energy patience or money for that.

 

QUOTE(navywf757 @ Sep 17 2007, 12:16 PM) [snapback]410933[/snapback]
Last night for example they wouldn't eat much of dinner so I just took them out of their high chair when they started to throw food which is a signal they are done. They had a sippy of milk before bed and that was it. They seem hungry earlier this morning but otherwise ok. Is it ok to try to get them to know this is it and if you don't eat it then fine they will eat at next meal?


I think this is fine. Sometimes toddlers just aren't hungry. It mystifies me, but they can basically skip lunch (or eat, like, one goldfish cracker) and not seem to be bothered.

As far as cooking for them, try very hard not to fall into that pattern. I do it too, but I try not to. My ideal approach (which I manage to follow maybe half the time) is to have them eat whatever we are eating, but also provide something they usually eat -- applesauce, goldfish, avocado, etc. So if they don't choose to eat the "main dish," at least they have something. But that also saves me from stressing about "I made this specially for them and now they aren't eating it." It removes the burden from the parent of finding the exact right food for them, and feeling like it's somehow your fault if they don't choose to eat it -- it isn't.

BTW, most of this advice is paraphrased from "Child of Mine: Feeding Your Child with Love and Good Sense," by Ellyn Satter, which I highly recommend. She says "It is the parent's job to offer a variety of healthy and good-tasting food -- it is the child's job to decide what and how much to eat." If you keep that dividing line in mind as much as possible, you will have much less mealtime stress.

 

We've only recently started to see this behavior. I always said that I wouldn't make any other food if anybody rejected it. I'm sticking to it. DS has had a few nights where I'm sure he was a little hungry. I generally see this behavior at dinner, though, so it could be that he's also just not hungry to begin with.

I figure that if I cater to him throughout the meal, it sends the signal that I'm at his beck and call. I wouldn't get to sit down and have a family meal either.

When food starts hitting the floor, the tray comes off and they get to sit and watch the rest of us finish eating. This works for us.

 

QUOTE(ktfan @ Sep 17 2007, 05:21 AM) [snapback]410937[/snapback]
At that age, I tried to make sure they had at least one thing they would eat. I would serve them what we were having and if it didn't include something I knew they'd eat, I'd have some fruit, mutligrain cheerios, whole wheat bread, cheese, etc nearby so they could have a serving of that too. If they didn't eat, they didn't eat. I also tried to hold off giving them their milk until the meal was about over. Kids are really good about eating what they need. It's our job to provide a balanced, healthy diet...it's their job to eat it or not. You won't do any harm in not being a short order cook!


My philosophy as well. And it has worked wonderfully. Some days, they just don't each much. And they don't get a snack before bed (at that age, just milk).

 

Like many of the other posters, I always have a back up food to offer if they don't like what I'm serving; usually the back up food is yogurt or cottage cheese because I know they will almost always eat them. Also, if they don't eat what I serve them then I don't offer the "snack" at the end of the meal; I typically give them a few crackers at the end of a meal for a snack.

thea

 

I have been wondering what to do about this too. My girls are two and STILL will not eat "real" foods, i.e. grilled or baked meat or fish or veggies. We have been wimping out lately and if they won't eat, I whip up some hot dogs and beans or leftover pasta, or something I know they will eat. I know I should not be doing this, but they just will not eat these things. They won't even eat mashed potatoes or rice. Last night for dinner, all they ate was bread. We make pasta and mac and cheese way too much because we just want to have a meal they will eat.

 

I also make sure there is at least one thing they like on their plate. If they don't eat, I don't make them anything else. We always do a light bedtime snack before brushing teeth, whether they eat their meal or not. What they may not eat at one meal, they definitely make up for at other meals.

 

I probably did it all wrong but the end result was fantastic so I'll share what I did anyway. At that age, I made them meals I knew they would eat. I used as much of the adult meal as possible but I didn't expect them to eat any new foods. I offered the new food alongside their regular meal without any pressure to eat it but I would act all excited about the food and suggest they try it. I offered the leftovers again with their lunch the next day. Once they had accepted the food, the next time I made it, that was what was on their plate for their regular meal. Gradually, their range expanded. There aren't many foods they haven't tried yet and the list of things they refuse is down to almost nothing (steamed zucchini, mashed potatoes, and peas are the only ones I can think of).

 

I DID 5VEGIES 5 FRUIT 3-4 MEAT..

I KNEW THEY WOULD EAT BREAD../ PASTA

SO ..

CARROTS, PEAS, GREEN BEANS BROCCOLI AND CORN
PEACHES APLES, GRAPES, STRAWBERRY BANANA
CKEN BEEF, SHRIMP, TUNA

NOW WE HAVE ADDED SALMON , CRAB, PINAPPLE,

IF YOU STICK TO THE SAME FRUITS, VEGIES.. THEY WILL GET USED TO THEM.. EATING..

I ADD STUFF BUT STICK TO THE SAME FOODS.. THAT IM SO SICK OF.. BUT THEY EAT

M

 

QUOTE(Minette @ Sep 17 2007, 08:37 AM) [snapback]411250[/snapback]
BTW, most of this advice is paraphrased from "Child of Mine: Feeding Your Child with Love and Good Sense," by Ellyn Satter, which I highly recommend. She says "It is the parent's job to offer a variety of healthy and good-tasting food -- it is the child's job to decide what and how much to eat." If you keep that dividing line in mind as much as possible, you will have much less mealtime stress.


This is a great book and the mantra of the book, as Alden (Minette) stated perfectly, helped me feel much more relaxed about meal time.

Often times when they refuse everything (even the things they usually like/eat), I'll sit down with a plate of their leftovers after getting the meal cleaned up and suddenly (since it's on Mommy's plate = yummy) they are dying to eat it.

 

My pediatrician has always told me that some days they won't eat anything and some days you'll think they're bottomless pits and not to stress about it. If they are hungry and you are offering them food they've gladly eaten before, then they will eat it. I definitely always try to offer them foods they've eaten before and add new foods in gradually -- I would not serve them a whole meal entirely of things they've never had and expect them to gobble it up -- but if they don't eat what I serve, then they just don't eat. I offer a variety of foods throughout the week and at each meal, so I see it as up to them to decide what to eat or not.

FWIW -- one of the best ways I've had to introduce new foods is to only serve it to me and my husband -- inevitably we are met with "Whazzat? Eat it?" and min enow eat all sorts of things like hummus, falafel, Chinese dumplings, fish, etc., as a result. Of course they won't eat potatoes, so what do I know?

 

I am having the same problem with ds this week... he just won't eat, and it has been going on for days.... he is ok at breakfast and lunch, snacks are fine, but dinner he just plays... He has had diarreah all week, so I am attributed it to teething... i don't know... I hope this isn't and indication that he is going to be a picky eater.