What do you do between 5pm and bedtime?

I feel like we are trying everything and getting no where. The babies (2 and 1/2 months) have a hard time catnapping between 5pm and 8Pm and they can't stay up longer than an hour at that time. I have tried putting them to bed around 6:30 but they can't sleep longer than 3:30 or 4:30 and I tried dreamfeeding DS (who has seriously cut down on his daytime eating) but he only took one ounce and was up an hour later acting like he was choking. We just started him on reflux meds so I don't think I can dreamfeed a reflux baby anyway. If they stay up longer they are screaming nightmares.

They are also waking eachother up at night so I am basically up with them from 3:30 on as they wake eachother up and DS spends the hours of 4:30-7:00 trying to have a BM. I finally bring him into bed with me at 6am so he can wriggle and writhe and scream there.

I feel like all I do is post on here about how hard this is and I just wonder if maybe I am just not cut out for this. Many of my friends with singletons have these babies that just eat when they are hungry and fall asleep when they are tired, and play happily in their swings etc... Mine are actually incapable of falling asleep unless I "put them down" swaddled and tired and actually have to be stopped from playing too long because they get overstimulated and freaked out.

 

Don't worry, you're not alone. I am feeling the same way. I feel as though my girls only last being awake 1 1/2 -2 hours from when they awaken from a nap. FOr example if they nap from 3 - 3:30 by 5:30 they are exhausted which usually results in them screaming!! It is a very fine line with sleeping/napping. My girls are 5 months and I thought things would be easier but they are not. Sorry. Mine also have reflux and that makes napping and eating more challenging as well. I am supposed to start back at work this week, and have husband or family members watch them, but how are they supposed to handle it if I am having a hard time!!

Please lets keep in touch and let each other know what works and doesn't work.
Thanks,
Jen

 

At that age, it was the beginning of a screamfest for one of my twins. He would start at 5 PM every evening and scream and fuss for hours!! It was horrible, I tried to console him and do anything, but at 4 months he just quit all on his own, it was issues with his reflux.

Me and DH would try to eat dinner at the time, and just care after their needs... really at that point there wasn't much we did do, besides laying them in the floor, putting them in swings/bouncers. When the 4 month mark got here it was quite easier to do things with them... like putting them in walkers, etc.

 

At that age, we would change, feed, bath and drive them in the car ALOT! I guess it was the notorious witching hour thing. Who knows. It seemed they wouldn't go to sleep but they were so tired. We would drive them until they were alseep and then bring them in and let them sleep until time to eat. We tried early on to establish 9:00 as "bedtime" meaning any feeds from that point on were more like dreamfeeds...minimal waking, no diaper changes unless necessary, etc. As time went by, the boys I guess kind of figured out the routine.

AFter around the 4 month mark, things have gotten significantly better in our house. We now have a "routine" of playtime when we get home from daycare at 5:30, then we change diapers and bf at around 6:30, have cereal and veggies about 6:50, bath time around 7:00ish and then both down to sleep by 7:30-8 (back up for a dream feed at 10 and then they sleep until 5-5:30). Of course, this is their schedule mixed with what I've tried to set up so we finally got something I can manage.

Hang in there...it's all hard and mine have their days but the "bad" days are far fewer now. Of course, we're entering teething phase which is a whole host of crankiness too. There's always something and there's nothing wrong with talking about it. I think most of us can identify with one issue or the other. Heck...it's hard work!

I would also note that I have a strict no visitation rule at my house. No one is allowed over during the week after 6:00 because it really gears the boys up and then it throws off everything. Do what you can but to be honest...alot of it i think is consistency on your part and their own cues.

 

First of all, BIG HUGS!

Those hours are what I usually call the witching hours. Having reflux issues tend to make things worse than they already are so I know how you feel. It gets better (just a little) when they get older and you can place them on exersaucers, bumbos and stuff. Now at 4.5 months we place them in their high chairs just so that they get used to the idea of eating with us. They are still fussing though so yes, dinner time becomes quite stressful for me and DH.

Hope the reflux meds does its job soon for your DS!

 

Pull my hair out!! lol

I would go on a lot of walks!!!

 

Amy - I read somewhere in general we (humans) aren't wired to sleep during the evening hours, and I guess this holds true for babies as well. We have a really hard time getting the twins to nap after they in the late afternoon. We usually try to get them to nap for 30-45 minutes, and then once they are up (or if they never go down), we start their bedtime routine - bath, read, bottle, bed. Ours don't make it much past 4 or 5 in the AM then either, but I do appreciate the relaxing evenings with my husband and 13 year old daughter. I figure it shouldn't be much longer and they'll be able to make it until morning -at least I hope!!!

Best of luck!!
Suzi

 

You are not alone! Between 2 and 4 months, evenings were so so hard! We would go for rides in the car, rock, swings etc. It was terrible. I forbid visitors at that time too because it just made things worse.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though, around 4 months thigns started getting much easier.

hang in there

Oh, and DO NOT compare yourself to mom's of singletons. I've come to the conclusion that they have no clue at all what its like to have twins!

 

We spent a lot of time bouncing them on the exercise ball, or sitting on the floor in front of the washing machine because the vibrations seemed to soothe them. We couldn't put them down to sleep awake either -- they had to be sound asleep or they'd wake up as soon as we loosened our grip. You just hang in there. Around 3 months, they started going to sleep around 7:30 or 8 and sleeping until 1 a.m. and it was like magic.

I never did the dream feed -- it just didn't help. They would wake at 1 to eat whether I fed them at 10 or not, so I just considered 7ish to be their bedtime and resigned myself to feeding them at 1 and 4. This was later, though -- more like 3-4 months.

You're still in the tough part but you're almost there! Get through each evening the best way you can, and know that you're not doing anything wrong. They grow out of this all by themselves -- your job is just to survive it. :hug99:

QUOTE(mandyfish3 @ Aug 17 2007, 06:27 PM) [snapback]371783[/snapback]
Oh, and DO NOT compare yourself to mom's of singletons.

And this is my favorite advice, because it applies to everything.

 

you're describing "life iwth twins" and I found that it was hard up through 4 mos and then our schedule got implemented and htings got easier. Since the babies' nap schedule is chaotic (and this is common) at this age, it's a great time to get out of the house == go to the mall, etc. as they will sleep in their car seats. Once you get them on a regular schedule it will be harder.

As for sleeping -- I am a firm believer in weissbluth -- I implemented alot of his suggestions at 5 mos and now I have kids who nap 2x a day religiously and go to sleep at 6p every night. it's wonderful.

Good luck -- it's hard at this time, you gotta just get through th edays and get your hubby home early so you can get a break.

White noise and classical music helped my kids at meltdown time. we also started putting them down early 5o or 5:30 at this time and it worked wonders.

Good luck

Teri D

 

QUOTE
I feel like all I do is post on here about how hard this is


Hey, that's because it IS hard! Having twins is a ton of work. As long as everyone gets through the day fed, clean, and in one piece, you are doing great.

About the evening fuss - it should turn a corner really soon. The first few months were just awful that way for us, but it's a lot better now (4.5 mo corrected). They're still a bit fussy and cranky, but usually not full-blown crying.

Things that worked (and still do!) for us to get through those rough hours:

- stroller rides
- Baby Bjorn. Popping a baby in the Bjorn is an almost sure-fire way to calm them down. We started with one and wound up buying a second so we could each wear a baby, they work so well.

QUOTE
Mine are actually incapable of falling asleep unless I "put them down" swaddled and tired and actually have to be stopped from playing too long because they get overstimulated and freaked out.


Totally normal. Even now my babies max out after 1.5 hrs awake. And they could only just fall asleep anywhere, randomly, as newborns. Now they definitely need to be put to bed properly (unless they doze off in the stroller or Bjorn).

Good luck. It will get better, I promise. And you're probably doing a lot better than you think. :hug99:

 

Oh I feel your pain! My DS had issues and kept us all up with his grunting/reflux until we relized he did better onhis belly to sleep, not he sleeps better than his sis. I know SIDS, but he is really fine in this position and my pedi seemed okay with it if he is getting sleep. Mine take about 3-4 naps with a catnap somehwhere in the day and I just try to keep them entertained as much as I can when they are into it, mu DD has definite times when she needs to just chill out and have her quiet time where my DS could just stare at me all day long and never have his alone time. It got easier around 3-4 months for us. I wish mine slept from 6:30 to 3:30 when they were 2 1/2 months, they will get there once they get a bit bigger. Sweetie, You ARE cut out for this and it will get easier once you figure them out a bit more! You can't compare yourself to a singleton b/c they have NO idea what your going through, and never will. Be strong and sleep when you can!

 

OMG, you are definitely just as cut out as any other mother to be the parent of twins. :hug99: It IS hard, there is no other way to put it. I have a singleton and it is like your friends describe it. But with the twins, nothing has been like it was before. They feed off each other and it is just doubly hard in every respect. You are definitely not alone. We have all been there and mothers of singletons have no idea what you are truly going through. :hug99: When my twins were 2.5 months I posted similar threads and Diane (~*dfaut*~) used to tell me that I was in the throws of the first three months of he!! and nothing is going to look right during this time. And she was right, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, in about 1.5 months. You can do this!!!! :hug99: