What do you call a singleton?

What do you call a singleton? People with twins understand that singleton isn't meant in a negative way - it's just a way to identify 1 vs. 2. People with 1 baby do not apprecaite being called singeltons. When I talk to other people who have one baby I inevitably end up saying something like "how does this work when you just have one baby?" I am in no way demeaning them, or implying that having "just one" isn't super hard. But I just haven't found the right vocabulary to diffirentiate when necessary. Am I the only one who has gotten looks when I slip and say something like "singelton" or "just one baby?" I certainly don't mean any offense by it. It's just a little unfair - they have a word to describe my babies and our situation - "twins." I want a word for them, too.

 

I had a baby first and now I have 2 babies or twins. I would just call them "baby." Like, she had a baby-not she had a singleton. Or how is the baby, not how is the singleton. Just my 2 cents.

 

When I talk to moms of singletons, they usually put themselves down by saying that I have it way harder than they do and they don't know how I do it. I think twins do bring more challenges but I think these ladies are not giving themselves enough credit! So I don't really run into the problem you are describing as they are usually the ones implying that having "just one" is nothing compared to what I deal with every day. I have two very easy babies and some of the moms I know have a much harder time in my opinion dealing with their "challenging" singleton. I will admit I often let them think I am super-mom even though I am not even close! Maybe saying "one baby" instead of "just one baby" would sound better?

Jen

 

You can use the word "your" as in "How does that work with your baby/child?" or "How does that work for you?" with your baby/child is kind of implied.

 

QUOTE(Flutterbymama @ Aug 15 2008, 04:11 PM) [snapback]932270[/snapback]
You can use the word "your" as in "How does that work with your baby/child?" or "How does that work for you?" with your baby/child is kind of implied.


I would totally agree with this referring to your baby or you...or even reference the baby's name.

 

I am so glad you posted this because I was just telling my friend yesterday that I am going for a walk tomorrow with a singleton's mom. She said, oh one of those mom (she is a singleton mom herself) I think it might have upset her although I have been saying that around her since mine were born. I think in twin world we say it and it seems acceptable because we know what that means but to a person with one baby they may take offense to it. I don't mean it offensively either it is just part of my vocabulary.

 

DH and I find ourselves mistakenly using the terms "them" and "they" when talking to other people with one baby... It's only natural for a twin parent

 

I never referred to my daughter as a singleton until the twins arrived. Now, here on the boards, or IRL with other twin parents, I refer to her as "my singleton." I think having multiples just changes your perception of what normal is...

Thinking back to my pre-twin days, if a twin mommy had referred to my daughter as a singleton, I probably would have chuckled, but I wouldn't have gotten mad.

QUOTE
DH and I find ourselves mistakenly using the terms "them" and "they" when talking to other people with one baby... It's only natural for a twin parent

I do this too. Especially when a friend is pregnant, I find myself asking things about "the babies." :blush:

 

I just say "How is [insert baby's name]?" I think that every situation is different and one isn't necessary more difficult than the other (ducking when you guys start throwing things at me!). We have friend who have a little girl just days older than our girls. She doesn't have anyone to play with so they constantly have to entertain her. I like the fact that my girls play with each other (a little bit), and play independently too. Of course feeding one baby in the middle of the night was probably a little less time consuming (although this little girl took like an hour to nurse, while mine scarfed down bottles in about 10 minutes each, so who knows!).

 

I have never had "just one baby" or a "singleton".

I have caught myself using the term singleton when talking to people about a person with one baby or about them having one baby. It is a word I use and people with one baby will just have to get used to it imo. People use the terms twins and triplets when talking about my children even when they are talking about just one of them. If they are offended then they will just have to get over it because it is not a offensive or insulting term. It is just a way of describing a person with a child who is not a multiple.

What is wrong with the term anyway? It's not like we are saying they are underachievers just because they had one baby, seriously.

 

I realized after awhile that it was better to just avoid comparisons unless absolutely necessary. For instance, if someone gave me advice that I didn't find helpful with two babies (like "When she's fussy, can you just wear her till she calms down?"), I would gently point out that "I'm not quite sure how I could do that while also taking care of the other one." But if we're just talking about babies in general, I didn't make reference to the fact that the other mom had one baby while I had two, unless she had specifically asked me something about having twins. In that case, I did go ahead and use the word singleton, but not referring to her baby in particular -- just to singletons in general.

 

I also find myself saying they, them and "the babies" when referring to other people's pregnancies and children.

I find myself using "singleton" when referring to a pregnancy with one baby. And every non-twin parent that I've used "singleton" around has laughed at me.

 

Heck I've never thought of the term "singleton" as being a bad thing. good to know....

 

QUOTE(1stTimeMom26 @ Aug 15 2008, 08:50 PM) [snapback]932539[/snapback]
DH and I find ourselves mistakenly using the terms "them" and "they" when talking to other people with one baby... It's only natural for a twin parent


Same here! A couple of my friends are pregnant with singletons and I constantly say "when you have them, they can..." I always have to correct myself.