What did you give up when you became a mom?

The other day I was thinking about how much my life has changed and I thought I'd share what has changed in my life. It's not that I miss these things, but it is just that my life is totally different. What have you given up or changed about your life?

- I am going to give up my amazing job of 10 years to be a SAHM
- My husband and I are going to have to give up vacations to Europe, a cruise and a road trip yearly
- I cannot be as spontaneous as I used to be, basically jumping on a plane to visit family is no longer possible
- I love spending my time teaching others about the bible, and now I have much less time than I would like to do this
- I used to be anal about keeping a very neat and tidy home and yard, and now I am lucky to make my bed and have a clean kitchen
- I used to take a neutral, minimal approach to decorating and now my house is now filled with bright, noisy, flashing baby toys
- We cannot go out at night for a beer and wings, a visit to friends, or for ice cream (bedtime is 6:30 - 7:00 around here right now)
- A shower and doing my hair is a luxury. I wear a ponytail everyday to prevent the kids from pulling it out, and I wear my contacts all the time now because the babies are going to break my glasses.

 

The only thing I feel like I lost is my sense of not belonging. I finally feel like I have a purpose now

 

Daily showers
Adult conversation during the day
Normal clothes
Floor space in my den
DH gave up his study to be their nursery
My thriving company due to bed rest at 16 weeks
Half of my kitchen that is now devoted to bottles and baby food
My trunk which now houses my double stroller
The back seat of my car

but I wouldn't take any of that back for all the tea in China! :itwins:

 

What i gave up:

Being able to fit in any clothes without elastic waistbands right now because of the tummy
Wearing cute bras because i am now a DDD and they dont make them frilly and feminine
Getting to sleep all night in bed with my husband
Being able to leave the house on a moments notice to go anywhere
Getting to get through an entire meal with my husband because the babies need me
Going out to a restaurant because the boys are too young to handle it

What my Husband gave up:

Having a wife who is happy and not an emotional mess
Being able to sleep through the night and not be exhausted at work
Having a nice dinner made by his wife every night because she is too exhausted to cook

What we gained:

Finally being able to have the family we waited for for many years
Being more in love and closer to eachother than ever before
Learning to compromise and work together to ensure a happy home and children



Kenneth and Ian are 1 month old

 

Sleeping in past 6:30 am!!! That is the biggest thing I miss.

 

I kind of miss alone time. I feel guilty taking any time for myself because I want to spend every non-working moment with the boys. But I'd really like to take a huge bowl of ice cream and sit on my deck reading for a few hours.

I used to get bored a lot, but now I am never bored!

 

I thought about posting something similar to this a couple of weeks ago, but it would have been something like "things you do JUST because you have kids"
Before I start I would like to say EVERY aspect of my life revolves around my children. I can do NOTHING without thinking about how it will affect them. Therefore I have given up my LIFE for them. These will just be a few things I can think of right now. . .and in no specific order.

I wake up an hour before I would need to get up if I were just getting myself ready
I buy food around what they like and will eat
I cook dinner at least 5 out of 7 days
I either dont sleep through the night, or I wake up w/ someone else in my bed EVERY day/night
I gave up a good job. .but now have a better job that may not have been considered if I didnt have kids
I can no longer leave the house at the drop of a dime
I cant let my friends ride with me anywhere because even if you take out the carseats to make room, everyone will be sitting in something Im sure they'd rather not. (i.e. cereal, cookies/crackers, papers, etc)
I have bills I would have never incurred if I didnt have children.

This is hard. . i mean EVERYTHING I do revolves around them.

The main thing I gave up was my freedom. . just being able to do anything anytime and being a single individual person. . oh, and having extra money..that doesnt happen anymore. and even if I had 'extra' I would want to spend it on them!

There are so many more things, but freedom is the main thing. I didnt go on vacations or do anything else major or specific with my time, but just NOT having to worry about anyone else but ME!

 

I think the thing I miss most is actually doing things oustide of the house other than going to stores. I miss going to restaurants, or just hanging out with friends (who also have babies) but we can't do it because ours go to bed at 7:15. We definitely like the hours to ourselves in the evenings but I do sometimes wish we could be like friends of ours who go to dinner, or to others houses and take their children because they have no bedtime and no schedule and it isn't that big of a deal to keep them up and out later. For us, the schedule is fabulous and it is worth the trade-off but I do miss social interaction outside of my house. I did know that these things would change but I always envisioned taking the kids with us and just integrating them into our lives not so much changing our lives around them - boy was I naive!

 

QUOTE(Lydia @ May 20 2009, 09:25 AM) [snapback]1321254[/snapback]
The other day I was thinking about how much my life has changed and I thought I'd share what has changed in my life. It's not that I miss these things, but it is just that my life is totally different. What have you given up or changed about your life?

- I am going to give up my amazing job of 10 years to be a SAHM
- My husband and I are going to have to give up vacations to Europe, a cruise and a road trip yearly
- I cannot be as spontaneous as I used to be, basically jumping on a plane to visit family is no longer possible
- I love spending my time teaching others about the bible, and now I have much less time than I would like to do this
- I used to be anal about keeping a very neat and tidy home and yard, and now I am lucky to make my bed and have a clean kitchen
- I used to take a neutral, minimal approach to decorating and now my house is now filled with bright, noisy, flashing baby toys
- We cannot go out at night for a beer and wings, a visit to friends, or for ice cream (bedtime is 6:30 - 7:00 around here right now)
- A shower and doing my hair is a luxury. I wear a ponytail everyday to prevent the kids from pulling it out, and I wear my contacts all the time now because the babies are going to break my glasses.


Oh, and I pretty much agree with all of this! I wish I could be a SAHM and never thought I would want to - not an option right now, but hopefully one day. I used to look forward to vacations and now just thinking about the logistics overwhelms me. The inability to do simple things like even just running into Walgreens or stopping by a yard sale without it being a huge production can be frustrating. My mom says that finally my house looks "lived in" but to me it just looks cluttered and definitely not the minimalist look I was going for, and I just recently got my haircut to try to force myself to style it since I lived in ponytails since they were born! The sleep thing too, I knew that I would be tired and on a completely different sleep schedule but the reality doesn't hit you until the babies are here - you imagine being tired but you can't really know what it is like to not have any time to ever "catch-up" on sleep or sleep late ever again!

I wouldn't change a thing, and waited a long time to have these complaints. But it is helpful to hear that others have some of the same thoughts!

 

Other than the obvious - sleep - we/I have given up going to nice restaurants, traveling anywhere more than 1/2 hr by car, traveling by plane, being able to run quick errands, watching whatever I want on TV, casually going out to lunch. We also sacrificed a fair amount in order to have the money for the IVFs. And I reeeally miss my afternoon naps!

 

I gave up

my name...I am now officially, in every capacity, shouted from the top of their lungs...MAMA (and I love it...when other kids at school ask me my name, the boys look at them and say Mama...they do know that Daddy's name is Trey though...ha!)

being able to leave the house on a whim

my body (not that it was great to begin with but now I know I really should have appreciated it because I so was not fat before kids)

on occasion my sanity...but I always end up finding it again (the stress of every stage sometimes got/gets to me, but I always take a breath and realize just how quickly they do grow up...seems literally like yesterday that the boys were "babies")

not being someone's mommy which was the easiest thing to give up because I wanted nothing more than to be a mommy. I am extremely fortunate to have my three and all the things I've given up are worth it all (although I am permitted to gripe about it occasionally).

 

QUOTE(Lydia @ May 20 2009, 10:25 AM) [snapback]1321254[/snapback]
What did you give up when you became a mom?

the words "i'm bored."

 

I like this thread. You can see others feel the same way.
I have given up:
a warm meal. Somebody always needs something when I sit down.
Being able to go to the store or shopping without tons of advance planning. (I am breastfeeding and need to plan around pumping and feeding.
Good restaurants. (Our twins are 5 weeks old. We rarely leave the house with them)
Tons of one-on-one time with my toddler.
What I have gained:
A grandma for my children. (She was very uninvolved until now.)
Three amazing children that I love to watch and grow.
Friends I may not have met without being a mom.