What are your views....days care v line in nanny?!

Hi Ladies,

What are your views....days care v line in nanny??!

I have a live in nanny since the girls turned 1, and sometimes I think if it was a good idea or not?!!

I say that because they are turning 3 now and thinking back it might have been better for them to go to some kinda of day care, Preferebly not home day care. They may have had more opportunity to meet some other children and socialization. My girls are very shy and cling to me in public. I work full time so I cannot alway make it to playdate etc as they tend to happen during the day. And because of this, we feel bad tend to spend all our time with them in evenings and weekends. I also feel that they might have been displined better and not be so stobbern as at them the moment they get all the attention!

DH is all for the nanny cose she helps out with the housework and its cheaper than daycare costs for 2! However, I am also concerned what will happen to them when they start school!! Will they be behind other kids trying to play catch with their social skils??
How are your children who attend daycare? Their behaviour, social skills etc.

I'd be very interested in all your views on this.

Thanks for reading....I love this forum, I can vent, worry, cry, scream & get comfort )

 

I've been actively considering the same thing. I just got through a waiting list and was offered two spots for the boys and really had to think it out (and I would be saving $900 a month for daycare so that is substantial). In the end I decided that I couldn't deal with the extra work that not having a nanny would mean. Doing all the laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning (oh, she's such a good cleaner!). I'd have no built in babysitter if I wanted to go out in the evenings, no help if I want to go out of town (I'm single so I sometimes really need that extra pair of hands). Honestly, working full time and trying to keep everything else together, I just thought I'd be such a stressed out mess, I couldn't cope and it wouldn't be good for the boys. At the same time, I just put my name on a waiting list for a couple of mornings a week for a private preschool. It will be about $300 a month and my parents will help with it. That way they can get all the pluses of the structure, the discipline (yip, we need that too). If I'm lucky, they'll even learn about potty training there Anyways, nothing is written in stone. I can always revisit my decision later but, if I did it the other way around, I'd lose this nanny and that's not something I want to do.
That was my thought process anyways.

 

We love our daycare, and I do think it has been helpful for socialization and overall behavior. That said, my children are still very shy and cling to me in public! How they behave at school (where they feel at home and are familiar with the setting and people) is not necessarily how they behave in new situations or with strangers. They are just shy by nature, and that's OK.

Also, although daycare has taught them (and us) many useful skills for improving behavior, it can't change the fact that they are 3, and 3-year-olds are wild animals in a lot of ways.

The one area where I do think it's been really invaluable is in teaching them to play with other kids. They are still shy around kids they don't know, and they still fight, steal toys, and occasionally hit like any other young children, but at least I know that somewhere inside them, they do have the skills to share, be friendly, etc. So rather than training them from scratch, we just need to remind them to use what they already know.

I've never had a nanny, so while it sounds appealing to have someone do some of the household work, we're already used to doing it ourselves. (We do have a housecleaner, which is obviously significant.) It's a lot of work, but I still have an hour or so most evenings just for myself, so I feel OK about it.

 

Oh, there are so many pros and cons to bat around. For us, daycare was more attractive of an option. I like the structure of it, and the educational aspect. I like that it has video monitors so I can see my kids during the day (I was always scared of someone home alone with them - it's not really a reasonable fear, but there it is). I like the socialization and exposure to other kids, even to sickness to a point because I think it builds up immune system. I like that, although my schedule is thrown off if one of the babies is sick, I'm not hostage to another person's sick days and vacations and being late to work. I also tend to be very bad at managing someone in my home (the landscaper, the cleaning service). Too one on one for me. I also like that I don't have to worry about the legalities of being an employer. All of these things, for us, resulted in a decision to go with a daycare.

There are definite pros for nannies as well - they come when the kids are sick, they come to your home, you can control more what the kids eat, do, see, etc. The nanny can help with cleaning and taking the kids to playdates, etc. For us, and our personalities, the daycare center was the better choice. And cost-wise, daycare is slightly cheaper for us than a good nanny. If we have more children, we may reevaluate.

 

I've never had full time (live in) care til now so my twins have been used to nannies for a few hours (US), daycare for 2 mornings (Europe) and now a full time live in helper, but they go to school as well.

I really think what it comes down that both are fine, as long as you have your nanny socialize with other children, let her go to classes, the playground, etc. Here, our helpers do playgroups, lunch dates and we live in a building with 400 units ... day care doesn't exist the way it does in Europe / US. My oldest is also very shy, ashamed to talk in front of grown ups, but she has been going to school since age 2 ... I think it's often more related to the child. Having said, expose your child to different, social situations, and in the end I don't think it really matters who goes with them as long as activities and social interaction inside and outside the hours are taking place. Live in help is usually cheaper with multiple children compared to sending them to day care, so financials play a role too.

And the freedom of being able to leave whenever I want, playing sports in the evening not having to wait until my husband gets home (which is way too late) is a great benefit. I feel I have a part of myself back ...