What are we doing wrong?

Hi,

My girls are 12 weeks 8 adjusted. Since they were 5-6 weeks actual, they have had such a hard time at bed time. We attempt to do a bed time routine and put them down at 7. They are back up and screaming at 7:30...this goes on until midnight or 1 a.m. It's been going on for 6 weeks...we're about to go crazy here.

I feed them several times in that 5-6 hours (breastfed) as I've heard they will cluster feed. One of them screams and won't eat for about 2 hours before she finally falls asleep for good.

Once they do fall asleep they stay asleep for 5-8 hours which is fabulous but we'd love to figure out how to get them to fall asleep earlier.

Should we not be trying a bedtime routine until 9 or 10? Should we keep them up?

I'm desperate for suggestions. Or, if you know when this stops - that'd be great to know too. This is crazy.

I can't imagine that this is how it has to be. What am I missing?

THANKS!

 

Sounds like it might just be their cranky time.

I had this with my girls and I had a bath, feeding and then put down to sleep routine too. If I managed to get to sleep before 8 (usually in their swings, sometimes in their PNP and then moving on to their cribs) then everything was fine but most of the time they were fussy and cranky from about 8 pm till 11pm. I always woke them at around 11-11:30 for a final bottle to get them to sleep through the night.

I think it all started settling down somewhere between 4 to 8 months old. They started sleep through the night at 4 months and then I started adjusting bedtime from the final bottle at 11pm to about 9pm and the crankyness just went away.

 

I'm sorry, I don't have any great sugestions.... my boys didn't want to go to bed until between 11pm and midnight until they were....I think 9 weeks oldish (they were 38 weekers) (man, it's only been a few weeks, you'd think i'd remember it better!) Then one night, we had them in their swings while we at dinner (around 7 ish) -- and they didn't wake up until around 1am) -- then we started trying to get them down earlier (at 7pm - and it worked) -- so all I can say it is DOES happen -- boom one day they just wanted to go to bed earlier -- up until then, they'd "nap" until around 8Pm, eat again, up - eat again around 11 - really get to sleep around 11:30/12ish - for their "long" sleep (usually 5 1/2 - 6 hours). THe early bedtime is a double edged sword. They are sleeping longer (7-8 hours for the first stretch) - and go down easier - usually without a peep -- BUT...insead of atcually getting 5 1/2 - 6 hours sleep - we now get around 3, up for feeding, and then another 3ish hours sleep -- I'm actually MORE tired! LOL. ( i just need to go to bed at 7 when they do!!)

 

I am in the same boat as you. Mine start fussing at around 7pm and sometimes dont stop till 1 am. too. It is wearing me and DH out b/c it takes us both just to take care of them during that time period every night. We also have two older boys that have to be in bed by 8 and it is very hard to get all that accomplished every night. I too cant wait until we can establish a good bedtime routine. My life would be so much easier then.

 

I know this might sound odd but what about putting them to bed an hour earlier? That's what I had to do. I realized most of our problems were caused by overtiredness and started to put my babies down around 6 when they were 7 weeks old. Worked like a charm.

 

QUOTE(AliPaige717 @ Nov 27 2007, 12:36 PM) [snapback]510712[/snapback]
I think it all started settling down somewhere between 4 to 8 months old.


:shok:

 

our girls went through something similar, just screeming for about 3 hours and then suck down a bottle, and that was all she wrote. they would be out for hours. at first mine wouldn't fall asleep until around 1am and stay asleep for about 4 - 6 hours. what we did was put them to sleep 15 minutes earlier every 3 days or so. it would look like this.

monday 1am -- tuesday 12:45 -- wednesday 12:45 -- thursday 12:45 -- friday 12:30 -- saturday 12:30 -- sunday 12:30 and so on

and start over until you until you get the desired bed time. we did that for about 20 days. we are comfortable with ours going to sleep for good around 9:30, they fall asleep by 10. but start from the time they finally fall asleep. we did find out t hough that the screeming for our girls was gas. so we had to give them gas medicine before bed.

i hope i could help
meshell

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Nov 27 2007, 12:50 PM) [snapback]510735[/snapback]
:shok:



to expand on the 4-8mo comment, I believe there are phases each babies go through and just when you think you have them figured out they can change on you, but for the most part things get really settled in by this time. your babies are little and they are still trying to figure it out. the first few months are usually just basic survival for us Moms. it will get better and sooner than you think and all that struggle tends to turn into a memory. look at all the moms with twins who still have more kids after, so it does get better LOL

 

We've been dealing with the same thing, but it seems to get slowly better, I think the trick for us is getting them to catnap from 6-7. If they don't get this nap (which is often in my arms, the only way they'll sleep) they will be up screaming until 10-11, but if they get this nap and then we do quiet time from 7-8, then pajamas, bottle, rock to sleep they go down by 9, sleep until 2:30, eat and then back to sleep (hopefully, DD sometimes has other ideas) until 5:30-6, eat and then back to sleep until 7:00-7:30. I have even put them in the car at 6 and driven around for an hour to get that catnap in, it really seems to help them.

 

I would say an earlier bedtime, too. My girls go to bed between 5:45-6:30 depending on when they woke from their afternoon nap. It seems absurd but our evenings are much calmer now. We have been doing this since 3.5 months (I think).

 

I too, would go with like a 5:30 ish bedtime at that age depending on when the wake up from the third catnap.

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Nov 27 2007, 12:50 PM) [snapback]510735[/snapback]
:shok:


Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. what I meant by settling down was that it was not happening every night and became less and less. And by 7 or 8 months it was almost completely gone unless they were overtired.

 

I feel your pain! Mine were very similar at that age. There was just no getting them to bed early - they'd finally crash once their witching hour was over, usually around 11.

The good news is that this gradually moved earlier and earlier naturally, with no intervention from us. I think around 3 mo adjusted age their witching hour started and finished much earlier, and we could get them down around 8. Now they go to bed between 6:30 and 7.

There's light at the end of the tunnel, hang in there...