What am I supposed to be doing?

I am having a pity party for myself today! I watched my friends DS yesterday who is 27 1/2 mo. and he is so different from my DS. He pointed to like 10 letters of the alphabet and associated the letter with someone's name such as "s" for Steph. Now is that what my 25 mo. old should be able to do or is he just advanced. My DS is so active that he would rather play that particpate in any type of activity such as learning colors, letters and let alone how to talk. He is a very busy little boy and I don't know how to get him to listen for even 5 min. to teach him anything. When he is playing with say his puzzle I will say look buddy 2 puppies ruff ruff and he doesn't he act like he cares. He is in ST for his delayed speech but on the other hand I have no one to compare him to, to see what is the "norm". I know there is no normal, but I would like to know what other 25 mo. olds know and how many words they say? I just feel like it is all my fault because I don't do enough with him! I really feel lost too as to what I am supposed to be doing all day! ALso my 10 1/2 mo. old girls need my attention too. I find it very hard to play with more than 1 at a time because if I sit both the girls down to play with say their shapes, one isn't interested. Did you find this difficult too. Sorry for rambling I am just frustrated and wish my DS would chill out a little and start talking!

Thanks!

 

I just wanted to tell you… my older ds was behind on reading… association… late talker compared to his friends… BUT physically running by 10 m… now at 10 years old… he is just a academic as the kindergartner boy who could read harry potter by himself… but wasn’t walking until after 18m… and that boy now… can run and play soccer as good (well almost as good ) as my son… so my point… is your doing your best and in my case it all equaled out around 8

sorry i know this wasnt the answer you were looking for... i just wish i realized all this while i stressed over DS

Elizabeth

 

I understand your frustrations. .it is definitely hard having a toddler and twins. I had a 2 1/2 yr old and a 1 1/2 yr old when the twins came. I honestly dont remember what I did during the time I was home with them. Having kids will wipe your memory out.

As for the milestones, all children definitely are different. My first son could say about 50 words when he was 18 months. My second child was able to say 100-150.. b/c she had an older sibling 'teaching' her along with the regular things I did, and she went to daycare earlier too.
As for a 27 month old knowing letters, that sounds advanced to me. None of my children could recognize letters that early on, and they are all in daycare with a structured learning curriculum. Usually at 2 they are just introducing different colors and shapes and maybe letters, just to familiarize them with those things. My oldest is going to be 5 in January and he has just started recognizing a lot of letters and starting to write 3 letter words. My DD who is going to be 4 in February can recognize SOME letters that are associated with her siblings/classmates names. She knows most of her shapes and colors.

Just for a 'comparison' (even though we shouldnt really compare our children)
My 2 1/2 yr old twins

have a large vocabulary (200+)
can sing most of certain nursery rhymes/songs from daycare
can count from 1 to 10-12, sometimes they skip a number or two (but in an eval. if they skip a # they are considered to only know how to count to the number before the skipped one i.e. 12347, the child can only count to 4)
can sing the alphabet song, skipping a lot of letters or saying sounds that sound like the letters
They do not know any shapes or letters... i think the only color they know consistently is blue for DS, but he says blue for everything, and blue and pink for DD

Again, my children are in daycare and have two older siblings they look up to, and copy all the time.
I should also throw in the fact that they are NOT yet potty trained, and my two older children were at this age!

 

I think of my children as two sets, the boys and the girls.

Both sets were wildly divergent. One was much more physical and other other was more "academic." Only DS1 talked early, and he learned letters/colors/shapes/numbers exceptionally early (by 18 months). Even though DS1 *seemed* like he was going to be the "brain," he turned out to be my "jock," and my slow-to-talk, uninterested-in-reading/writing/colors DS2 turned out to be the nerdy brainy type. You just can't tell how it will unfold when they're still so young.

The girls were over 2 before they talked at all, but they can outblabber anyone now.

The PP is right: by 8 or so it evens out. Little kids tend to focus on one area and then move to another when they are acquiring skills and knowledge.

 

I know it is hard not to compare your children to others who are in the same age range, but it can get depressing. Kids have different interests and learn differently. You will see with your twins. 2 kids who are exactly the same age, exposed to exactly the same environment will learn differently.

Did you ask your friend how often they sit down and go over those tasks? I bet it took months if not over a year of diligent work. Does your friend also have twins that she is taking care of in addition to a toddler?

It may be time for your DS to start preschool maybe 3 hours a couple of times a week. I noticed a huge difference with vocabulary when the boys were around other children who were just starting to talk.

"When he is playing with say his puzzle I will say look buddy 2 puppies ruff ruff and he doesn't he act like he cares. " Even though you think that they aren't listening, kids are and remembering. Keep doing the things that you are doing and you will notice a difference!!

 

My son is a lot like yours. He was crawling at 6mths walking very well around 9mths and has been on the go ever since. My son I would think has about an average vocabulary but sometimes it's very hard to understand so I'm not sure if he is behind or not. We try to read books to him and he will only sit for certain ones. We try to go over colors and point to one color and he will sometimes repeat the color but if you just ask him a color he has no clue or just won't answer. He doesn't really sit long enough for us to go over things or if he is sitting nicely out of no where he will throw a book or toss everything to make a mess. I wouldn't worry to much I think the other boy is just ahead. Everyone learns things at different times. For my girls one always did all the physical things first and the other the more thinking things, now in kindergarten they are almost at the same level as each other (they have different teachers so they are learning things at different times). Try not to worry to much (I know you can't help but to worry) you are doing a good job raising your son and daughters.

 

It is hard to not compare our kiddos with others!

One other thing that I end up doing with the girls (they don't necessarily like to sit still either ) is to just talk and label things as were doing active stuff.

I'll ask one of them to get me the green ball. Oh, look at the green ball, does the green ball bounce? I talk to the girls a lot. I'm a chatter by nature anyway :blush: so I just blabber on to them. And have conversations. They weren't always able to converse back, but they're now starting to! As we're going out in different areas doing different things, I point out different shapes to them then. They can now spot a triangle farther away than I can!

And as pp mentioned, even though it may seem like they're not paying attention for absorbing anything, one day they'll come out with something that completely throws you for a loop and you realize they were paying attention!

 

Honestly, I wouldn't worry. The SLP will let you know if there is something you need to do.

Here is one example. I had a friend (had in that they moved away) who bragged about how her daughter at 18 months "knew" the entire alphabet, etc. Well, one day, after when that child was almost 4, and had just completed her first year of preschool, we were outside writting all the kids names on the driveway with chalk. Hers was the only one that started with "P", and she still couldn't identify her own name!

Jonathan barely spoke at 2, and at 3 1/2 was reading Curious George to himself (no joke, that is how we found out he could read). I never did anything with him other than read books when he asked. Just relax, and do what you can. He will be fine