What am I going to do?

Cameron and Kiefer have been transitioning to their new class they will be starting next week. The difficulty is not only going from early preschool one to early preschool two, but also going from 2 days a week to 3 days a week. They were going Tuesdays and Thursdays, and they'll be changing to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I had two choices, either do a week's worth of a transition which is what they recommended, or a shortened version of only letting them transition on the days they are normally in class and then start the new class Monday and hope they have gotten used to the new students and teachers enough to be comfortable. I chose the recommended transition of going in all 5 days at smaller times. Bad idea. They've been used to staying in school from 8am to about 5pm or 5:30pm sometimes as late as 6pm. But with the transition. Monday they were in 9:30am to 10:30am. Tuesday all day, Wednesday 9:30 to 11:45am, Thursday all day, Tomorrow they'll be in until 2:45pm. Starting this past Monday when the transition started, all seemed fine. The boys seemed happy, but when we picked them up, Cameron was a weepy mess. Apparently, he was happy until we showed up. That night, he was up crying his eyes out. He would go to his window and scream for us. I had to go shopping and he saw me. I came back inside cause I could see how upset he was. Ever since that night, he's been almost impossible to go to bed. Before this transition started, he was an angel going to bed. He wouldn't cry. He was happy and would sleep all night. Now, sometime during the night or very early morning, he gets up and opens the window blinds to check if our car is still outside. Sometimes I have heard him. He doesn't usually say anything, but sometimes I hear him crying out for us. He does often say "Daddy at home. Mommy at home!" He sounds so sad. He doesn't sound convinced. If he cries, I often have to go in and put him back to bed. It usually means listening to another 15-30 minutes of crying and then he'll go to bed or get back up. If I don't hear him, I find him in the morning with both windows with their blinds up and he's staring out of one of the windows or it's obvious he fell asleep under one of the windows because he was staring out of it until he passed out.

I don't know what to do. He's obviously upset. This transition was a bad idea. I should have just done the shortened version and hoped for the best the next week. At least it would have appeared to be normal cause we would not be taking them out earlier than they are used to. I knew there'd be an adjustment if I did pull them out of class early, but I thought it was better to let them get used to the new class. He'd have done better had I chosen the shortened transition period. I know that now. Poor Cameron! He's really a mess now. I feel so awful for putting him through this. Kiefer is transitioning better and adjusting faster to his staggered schedule, but he'd probably have been fine with the shortened transition period too.

Do you have any ideas on what I can do to make this adjustment for him easier? I hate making him CIO when it's obvious he's afraid we are leaving him. I wish I could gain his trust back that we are not leaving him.

 

I'm sorry he is having such a rough time with the transition. I send the girls to a Mother's Day Out program one day/week, Kalia is doing great but Jordyn still cries every time I drop her off and tells me 'I don't want to go to school' (that's what we call it). Anyway, the one thing I've found that works is telling her "You are going to play with the kids, have lunch, have a nap and then Mommy will come back" She remembers the 'Mommy will come back' part and repeats it to me multiple times when I do come to pick them up. 'You come back Mommy, you come back!!'

You may already do this, but perhaps going through the daily routine with him before you leave and then reminding him that you will come back will help him adjust??

 

It's probably just a phase that he'll grow out of in a week or so. I think that it's possible you might be making a bigger deal out of this than it is, and he's could be feeding off of your emotions.

That being said, we still have a week here or there that A&R cry about school or cry about anything at the drop of a hat. But we just tell them that they have to go to school, there are no exceptions. They suck it up and go. What would you do if they had to go all day every day like a good portion of children have to do?

 

Perhaps you could get a book or two about doing to daycare/school and read it often. I know my kids had a hardtime with daycare/school here, and I would just keep telling them what would happen and that I would be back after lunch to get them. They still cry (well, only DS cries) when I drop them off, but it honestly only lasts a few minutes at the most.

As for what is happening at home, I might really reinforce that you will tell him if you leave, or you will come say goodbye, maybe that way he wont be looking for you. I would talk to him at bedtime about you being there in the morning and will come get him. Really reinforce those points, and hopefully within a few days things will settle down.

 

:hug: It sounds like it was just too much. Going from 2 days a week to 5 days a week (even if it is for a shorter amount of time) is a big transition in and of itself.
I would def keep him out today and just start Monday brand new. I know my kids feed off of my emotions so much so I would make sure to put on a big ole smile and just go with it.
Keep us posted and I hope things work out!

 

Well, I talked to DH about it and we were going to keep them home. It was a good idea, but we just weren't sure. I called the school and talked to someone there. She agreed that had we known this was going to happen, it would have been better to do the shortened transition as it may not have been such a sudden change to Cameron. But, since we already are at the last day of transition, it might either not change anything by removing him or it could make things worse for him. Since the damage was done, she felt it was better to just continue as planned and let him stay in the class today and complete the transition. He is very happy at school as is Kiefer. School is not the problem. The transition may have been, but it's already near completion and it would not likely make anything better by taking him out. I do agree. What's done is done and we just need to work on his confidence and trust now. Taking him out now would not fix the problem.

Actually this morning, Jason mentioned they are going somewhere fun today. Kiefer immediately called out "SCHOOL!" Cameron got very smiley and repeated Kiefer's response. I know they love their school. I just hate that the price of the transition was a fear in Cameron. He'll get through this. It's just hard to see him feel this way. He's attached himself to his daddy again, which is hard for me cause Kiefer also has been prefering daddy put him to bed lately, but I think things will go back to normal after they they have been in school with their new class schedule and students/teachers for a little while. Heck, when I dropped them off at their class today, one of their new friends that recently transitioned from their last class gave Cameron the biggest hug. Cameron was very happy to see him too. That let me walk away from them this morning feeling good about our decision to let them come to school today.