Weissbluth (whatever his name is)/HSHHC fans...

So, I'm thinking full on CIO this weekend.

So far we've done 10-20 minutes of screaming followed by me going in and nursing to sleep.

It's time for cold turkey.

But just how long do I let him scream? 1 hour? Two? All night if it takes it?

 

Good luck to you, I find CIO probably the most difficult thing in the world. It didn;t work with my first at all. She was a puker and no matter what wouldn't stop freaking out. We were all exhausted and then I usually had to deal with stripping the mattress, washing the crib, walls and floor, and in the end, she is now a fantastic sleeper, in her own bed. I just recently did it with one twin for great results. Took 2 days, and things are majorly improved. Weissbluth, if I remember correctly, states nnot to let the child cry for longer than an hour. That seems like an eternity...

 

Rosie, I don't know about that method, but I did do CIO with all of my stubborn boys!! I never had one cry longer than about 30 minutes, although it was multiple times at night, at first. I am hoping you have the same luck! Good luck, it is hard, but consistancy is the key. :hug99:

 

I dont know how many minutes it was but it was on and off through out the night. I knew I had no option of going in so I dont think I even looked at the clock. Good luck! :hug99:

 

I ended up doing CIO with my girls at about 9 month. The longest they ever cried for was 1 hr, and that was the first night. My personal rule of thumb is no more then 1 hr. They cried for only a few day and got the hint that they weren't getting up any more. Good luck, and be strong.

 

Should we do it for wakings only at first or going to bed too?

 

We used same rules going to bed and wakings during the night. For us the key - and the hard part - was never taking them out of the crib, i.e. Ferber. No feeding, no lights, no eye contact. In crib soothing only unless sick or dirty of course.

DH was more consistent with crying response, so he did all the "sleep training". Started at about 9 months and I think it took less than a week to get both through the night with no intervention. DH loves order and problem-solving, so he felt like a total rock star when he came up with "the sleep rules".

CIO drove me crazy because it triggered so much let down that I was ALWAYS in their room. I slept on a different floor without a monitor during initial training.

At 2+years, we use similar rules when needed and with babysitters/family. Except for my mother. She's totally anti-Ferber said we were cruel to start "so early". But since she gave me a pacifier for FOUR YEARS, I don't think she has much credibility in the sleep department. Which she admits. lol

Hope this is helpful.

 

Weissbluth would say "however long it takes." (The one-hour rule is for naps -- for nighttime, I'm pretty sure he says not to go in at all, though it's been a few months since I read the book.) That is what we did, and it was pretty painful, but it was short -- over an hour the first night, slightly less for about 5 nights after that (with one "backsliding" night), until it stabilized at about 10-15 minutes.

We did it for nighttime (initial going to bed) only at first -- we kept rocking them to sleep for naps or doing naps in the stroller. We never had a big problem with nighttime wakings -- Sarah was already sleeping through by the time we did CIO at bedtime, and Amy was only waking for feedings. I wasn't worried about getting rid of the night feedings, just wanted them to go to sleep at bedtime without it taking us an hour (or more) to rock them down.

My sense is that if you do bedtime first, the night wakings will follow. We did (and still do) have occasional night wakings, but since I knew they could fall asleep on their own at bedtime, I knew they could go back to sleep on their own at night too.

Plus, for the parent, IMO bedtime CIO is much easier. You can go off and do something else (make dinner, fold laundry, listen to music, whatever) during the crying, rather than lying in bed at 3 a.m., clenching your fists and waiting for it to stop.

Good luck!

 

He says up to an hour for naps (and otherwise get them and try again later) but like Minette says for night time and to really get them back on track ... as long as it takes. Especially in cases where they wake up after a couple of hours into the night, or before going to bed. I've done 1 hour many times, sometimes a little longer, usually a lot shorter.

We're currently training the twins after months of waking up around 5 am (which was great when they were 3-5 months old, but you expect some kind of progress). So we made a new plan, discussed it back and forth and they're now going to bed a little later, with no more night feedings before 6 am. They've done fairly well, we're making progress.

Besides the CIO part, I think it's also important to look at their sleep schedule. If you put them to bed too late, they may cry much longer than necessary. Putting them down 30 minutes earlier can sometimes make it a lot easier for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. Overtired children have more trouble falling, staying and soothing themselves back to sleep. Make sure they nap properly, keep intervals of wakefulness relatively short (we're currently at 3 1/2 hours max, and that's at the end of the day; morning is about 2 - 2 1/2 hours; then 3 hours max before their afternoon nap, etc.). The twins are now going to bed at 6.15 / 6.30 pm, used to be 6 pm for a long time. It can prevent a lot of sleep problems.

Good luck!

 

QUOTE(Minette @ Jul 6 2007, 11:15 AM) [snapback]319474[/snapback]
Weissbluth would say "however long it takes." (The one-hour rule is for naps -- for nighttime, I'm pretty sure he says not to go in at all,


That's how I remember it as well.

I would go in in 20 minute intervals, but slowly I started letting her (only one was a real problem) cry for longer. Eventually it stopped. When I would go in, I would just check on her, pat her back and go again, with very little physical contact and minimal eye contact. I wanted her to know that she wasn't deserted, but that it wasn't the time of day to be engaged with each other.

Good luck! (It's hard, but be strong, momma!)

 

This is compounded by the fact that he absolutely HATES his crib, as he has been sleeping with me for these past 11 months.

I've been trying to establish the lying in his room and nursing, then to bed routine. Tonight he nursed to sleep in what I felt was a reasonable time. So, didn't do it.

*big sigh*

I'm still deciding if I'm going to go in there when he wakes at 2:00 ish.

 

For me one thing that has really worked is never feeding them to sleep. I follow this routine throughout the day: 1. EAT 2. ACTIVITY 3. SLEEP. I even do this at bedtime. I feed them, then I bath them and give them a massage, then I put them down to bed. This way they don't expect to eat everytime they need to fall asleep.

I also find that PERFECT timing is the key to no crying. It's really hard and I don't always make it (especially with two babies who seem to need different amounts of sleep!) but if I catch them at EXACTLY the right time (after first yawn, lull in activity, tired eyes, etc.) I can get them to sleep without much/any rocking and/or crying. But it's tricky and I don't always make it. I haven't tried CIO because my babies are only 4 months old, but I do let them "fuss" a little.

 

I did CIO for night wakings and holding/rocking to sleep at 9-10 months with Ainsley. It got to the point where it was taking over an hour some nights to get her to go to sleep for the night, and with the night waking, she would end up in my bed, and not always sleep. She would pull my hair and face, move around,etc. I couldn't take it anymore.
I first did CIO for the night waking. I honestly don't know how long she would cry, I fell back asleep. I was that exhausted. It took about a week for the waking to stop. Then I did it for going down for the night. That was the hardest for me. I had to occupy myself in some other way to block it out. First night was about an hour, next night about 30 min, then 15, then nothing. It was hard, but honestly, it was the best thing I ever did. I tried "kinder, gentler" things like, I'll only rock for 15 min, then put her down. I tried some other things but I don't remember them now. If you go the CIO route, you have to be committed to it. If you do it one night and not the next, the first night was for nothing. I found the second night harder than the first.
Good luck!!