Wearing mis-matched clothes

Ainsley and Bea really like to pick out their own clothes. I've tried to teach them about matching and how to put together an outfit. For instance, wear only one pattern (top or bottom), pick a color from the pattern, and choose a top/bottom in that color. They will sometimes let me guide their outfit choice, but they like to do it themselves. Of course sometimes their outfits are a bit strange and really don't match. I figure they are four, and as long as the clothes are weather and occasion appropriate, I let it go. But then I was thinking, they will be starting Kindergarten next school year. Do I let them wear mis-matched outfits to school? Will they get made fun of? Will the teacher think their mother doesn't care or doesn't see what they are wearing? I think their mis-matched outfits are cute sometimes, but is their an age when you insist on wearing matching clothes?

 

Well, in our house, I have two opposite matching and mismatching situations:

(1) DD will only wear matching outfits -- exactly matching outfits of the same color and it must be the same shade (usually pink). If it does not match, then it pretty much does not get worn. This is sort of a problem, since I'm a big believer in separates, so that is most of her wardrobe.

(2) DS on the other hand, is Mr. Mismatch. And, he wants to wear short sleeves all winter. He has a preference for VERY bright tie dye shirts. He does not like to wear matching socks and he likes his socks to be bright (BRIGHT!) colors -- so he will have one "rainbow" sock (borrowed from DD's sock drawer and heavily featuring pink as a color) and one bright red sock.

For now, I pretty much let them wear what they pick out, within the bounds of reason (and pack up things that are not appropriate for the season or whatever). I do draw a line at matching shoes. But, this approach means that we leave the house with some pretty scary matches and mismatches sometimes (and I'm sure we get the hairy eyeball at church for some of the more outrageous mismatches!)

I figure that this is the only time in their lives that they can truly pick out and wear whatever they want in terms of colors, comfort, etc. My view is that there will be plenty of time for the kids to become fashion conscious later on -- peer pressure will take care of that. (BTW -- this attitude drive my mother bonkers!)

So, I'd let them be. You can always revisit after the first week of school, once you see what the other kids are doing.

Meg -- mom to 3.75 year old boy/girl twins

 

As a teacher of primary aged kids, I can tell you I occasionally see some pretty strange clothing choices and I can tell you that I never think that it was the mother's choosing. I doubt other kids would make fun of mismatched clothing. I wouldn't worry about it too much now. As a parent, it would drive me crazy, but it's part of letting them be independent, right? I'm sure I'll be dealing with this in a couple of years.

 

As a former Kindergarten teacher, I also saw some interesting outfits! I never thought the parents chose those outfits. I usually smiled to myself and knew the child was probably proud of themselves for picking their own outfits. Occasionally it turned out their dad's had helped them get ready in the morning. That usually made me laugh out loud! :lol:

As far as I saw, the other kids never noticed things like that. They're the same age, so I'm sure the "louder" the better! :Clap:

I let my DD pick out her own outfits and rarely dictate what she is going to wear unless we're going for photos, or she wants to wear shorts to the store when it's -30 outside. She is now a little over 5 and has been making really good choices for a while, although every now and then they are interesting. :huh:

 

i fully agree!

btw, i've heard of giving them choices but w/option that you choose (you can wear the pink pants w/the white top or the jeans w/the whatever...). would that help?

but really, like beth said, no one's watching or thinking it's you!

 

We are going through the same thing! the shoes are what gets me the most. We have 2 pairs of every shoe and if they nearly always put on 2 right or 2 left shoes - It was that they would pick one boot and one tennis shoe, I finally got them to at least pick matching shoes but they pick 2 rights or 2 lefts if I try to exchange the wrong shoe- it is awful! "THEM DO MATCH!". I was glad to read all of the teachers responses, I am glad you guys understand!

 

When we are staying home, I really don't worry about whether they are matching or not (flowers with flowers match, right?). When they have school, I steer them toward choices, there are certain clothes that they are not allowed to wear to school. Not sure why I am saying "them", because my sons will pretty much wear whatever I tell them to wear...my daughter, now that's a whole different story. :laughing:

 

I've tried that, but they know their clothes and will insist on another option.

Oh yes, I have this happen too! Sometimes I didn't notice and then realize while we're out in public that they have two left shoes, or their shoes on the wrong feet. Ooops!

 

Last week I had to explain Punky Bruster to my husband when I saw how the girls had dressed.

But hey, you should see what my university students are wearing these days!

 

I don't plan on fighting that battle in kindergarten either. I figure if the other kids say something about it, maybe A&S will be motivated to learn about matching. Or maybe they'll just continue to insist on their own distinctive styles, and more power to them!

Fortunately, it's never occurred to them to wear shoes from two different pairs, except for when they occasionally trade one snow boot (they wear the same size) so they each have one pink & one purple -- that's just a cute twin trick, and is still weather-appropriate (assuming it's cold out :laughing: ), so it doesn't bother me.

 

I have one who wants to wear a rainbow most days. I try and steer her to better then what she picked but still not a great match other days i don't bother. Today she was wearing zebra sweat pants with a purple striped shirt.

 

My girls have finally gotten to the point where they can match their colors..but we haven't even tried anything else. Unless we are going somewhere special (church, etc) I don't say much. I'm just glad they're clothed. It wasn't too long ago that they refused to wear clothes. To help with the choices when we go special places I tell them to pick between different shirts and pants that will all match no matter what they choose..so that helps a bit.

 

I love seeing kids going out with a tutu and green sweat pants underneath. My guys recently went on a playdate with swimming trunks over their pants. I just love the freedom and creativity that goes into it. The self-confidence and self-expression. I wish I could be brave enough to fight social conventions with the way I dress. So I say that kids will learn what the "norm" is soon enough and will decide whether they want to be part of it. Until then, I let them have their say. (One of my favourite pictures is Elias walking though the park wearing a harley davidson jacket and sparkly hair clips - he looked great!)

 

My rules for dressing are occasion appropriate and weather appropriate. Today, our high is about 12 degrees. I set out the kids' fleece lined jeans. Timothy got a fleece pullover and Sarah got a nice sweater. But that's honestly the exception. On w/e's, anything goes. On school days, I might suggest something that matches a little better if it's a real eyesore. I tend to pick my battles over making sure they are ready for the weather.

I've noticed they got in fits and spurts about wanting to pick their clothes. Sometimes they love what I set out. Sometimes they don't think I ever have a good idea. Sarah is pickier on clothes than Timothy and has definite ideas. She about choked this year when I told her that I was going to pick out some neutral pants for her (they have pe and she needed more pants instead of dresses). I went to Children's Place and got her black corduroys covered in gold glitter with gold and silver studding on them and blue jeans with silver glitter. They were to compliment her pink corduroys with pink glitter on them. She totally loves them (and most of them are on clearance right now so I have the next size bigger waiting for her).

So, if you are worried about them matching top to bottom, I'd go find some of the CP pants (they have the skirts with the glitter and studding also). They are fun neutrals which make it easier for her. And Sarah loves it because everybody, including her teacher, has complimented her on her pants. She likes it because it's sparkly and not plain (she's from the Fancy Nancy school of dress) and it's easy for her to match and get on.

Marissa

 

If I saw a mis-matched kindergartener, I would totally think the dad got her dressed that morning. You should see some of the outfits my DH picks out, LOL.

We don't have this issue because Nadia has a uniform (praise be!), and she's not particularly picky about what she wears -- or rather, I can explain to her once what matches and what doesn't, and she'll be careful to follow that going forward, because she's OCD like that. And, K&K don't care or have input on what they wear yet.

I'm definitely impressed with all you laid-back moms who don't care what their kids wear in public, as long as it's seasonally appropriate. I'd like to be that mom, but I'm really not. I love kids' clothing, and I spend a lot of time shopping for their clothes -- so I want them to look like I dressed them!

I agree with choose your battles -- but, this might be a battle I'd choose, depending on where we're going.

 

Great hint, thanks! Amy is from the Fancy Nancy school too. :laughing: The more patterns and stripes she can get on her body at one time, the better, especially if most of them are pink. (We just discovered Fancy Nancy -- I don't know how we overlooked her for so long. My only fear is that she will motivate Amy to be even MORE twirly/sparkly/frilly than she already is. )

Sarah, mysteriously, has suddenly stopped wearing dresses (about two days ago) and now prefers pants and shirts. Finally, someone to wear all those pants!

 

Oh, I definitely mourned the loss of seeing them in cute, coordinated Gymbo and Hanna outfits that I had carefully shopped for and planned. They still wear the stuff I buy, but not with what is "supposed" to go with it. Actually, there are some things I've bought that rarely get worn, and that's annoying.
I'll have to look for those sparkly pants and skirts. That's another battle, getting them to wear pants! They prefer dresses or skirts with crazy tights.

We've also just discovered Fancy Nancy, and yep, that's their style of dress.

 

For those in the "Fancy Nancy School of Dressing", these are some of the sparkly neutrals I've found that Sarah approves of (she doesn't have all of them, but would like too).

http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10001_10001_-1_581379_104266_27151|27314|27751_big%20girl|bottoms|skirts_biggirls

http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10001_10001_-1_580850_104183_27151|27314|49267_big%20girl|bottoms|skorts_biggirls

http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10001_10001_-1_580850_104183_27151|27314|49267_big%20girl|bottoms|skorts_biggirls

http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10001_10001_-1_566046_96249_27151|27314|27753_big%20girl|bottoms|pants_biggirls

http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10001_10001_-1_566046_96249_27151|27314|27753_big%20girl|bottoms|pants_biggirls

http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10001_10001_-1_575314_98618_27151|54882|54880_big%20girl|jeans|fashion%20denim_biggirls

These are just some of them. The stores still have bits and pieces of this whole sparkle collection in store. And trust me, they are much sparklier in person. Just wash them inside out to keep the sparkles.

And do I dare mention that the crazy loud printed tights are on clearance too?

Marissa

 

Ooh! Looks like I'm hitting The Children's Place! I might actually get them to wear jeans. We an always use more crazy tights, too.

 

Ummmm. . .I'm 34 years old and I still don't match and sometimes it's really bad. Like my husband has to tell me to change my pants or tops. I've managed to pretty much overcome it by only wearing solids because even baby blue and forest green look good together when they're solids right? But that could just be my whole "I don't give a poo" philosophy. Or my weirdness. I try to stick to the same idea for the kids, solid pants or jeans and a shirt. Who cares if it's two different types of camoflage? (My husband!!)

 

If I'm taking a formal portrait, then I will absolutely dress them. And it must be seasonally appropriate. As they get dressed, I suggest matches (so they can learn, although I am faaaaar from being the best fashion advisor). They are generally pretty good about it, especially now that they can wear jeans. Jeans match everything! (They don't wear dresses to school. Not practical for gym or recess. They love dresses and wear them all holidays and weekends.) However, DD1 really likes brown and she really likes purple, and she will wear them together. I should probably care more, but I'm too old and tired.

 

As long as everyone is weather appropriate, and we're not going to church or getting our picture taken, we don't fight this battle. Besides, likes others have said, what they pick out is never any worse than what DH would find for them to wear