Weaning tips?

First, I generally subscribe to the child directed weaning theory. But. My son is two years old, and I'm due with another in November. He still nurses at nap and bed time, and recently he's started nursing some during the day, generally the mornings (he hadn't been for a while). He's VERY insistent about it.

I'm wanting to wean him. I just don't want to be tandem nursing a toddler and an infant, and it's been pretty uncomfortable for me for a while.

I tried kicking him off a few weeks ago, and he SCREAMED for hours when going down for naps and at night. It didn't click with me until I finally figured out he was screaming "Milk Mommy" at me one night and I gave in and let him nurse so all of us could have some peace. That's when he started being very deliberate about nursing and insisting.

Any ideas? Anyone have to kick a kid off?

 

I haven't nursed a toddler so I don't have any advice, but I know several women will. I just wanted to offer support and my utmost praise for your super-mom abilities! What a lucky boy and lucky new baby. I completely understand wanting to wean at this point and I'd be doing the same thing if I were you.

 

I weaned when my twins were 2 years 1 month. It was a process that meant cutting out a nursing session every two weeks. We were at three times a day at that point. I was surprised on how well it went. No kicking or screaming. I cut out the am session first when they first got up. I replaced it with a sippy of milk. Then went naptime milk and finally bedtime. You could tell that Audrey knew something was missing, but they never asked for it. I did hide my pillow. We replaced bedtime with a sippy and a snuggle.
Does he have a lovey/blanket/special toy that he'd like to sleep with? Oh, is there another person available to settle him, at least for the bedtime? That might help. :hug: I hope it works.

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Sep 9 2008, 11:17 AM) [snapback]971301[/snapback]
I just wanted to offer support and my utmost praise for your super-mom abilities! What a lucky boy and lucky new baby.

Thank you. But it's not me, it's all him that is the champion nurser.

QUOTE(JicJac @ Sep 9 2008, 11:37 AM) [snapback]971326[/snapback]
Does he have a lovey/blanket/special toy that he'd like to sleep with? Oh, is there another person available to settle him, at least for the bedtime? That might help. :hug: I hope it works.

He has regular milk (and water) throughout the day and until I tried to cut him off, he really had stopped nursing during the day at all. He does differentiate between "milk kitchen" and "milk mommy" when he wants it. He's already out of sippies and gets all of his beverages from a cup.

He doesn't have any particular lovey. He seems to have a different favorite stuffed animal every couple of days, and no blankie that he's attached to or anything like that. My husband is available sometimes but not reliably every night, so that's what's been making it particularly hard. I had told him that I was going to leave the house each night for a week so he could put him to bed, but we haven't had the opportunity to do so.

 

My suggestion is that you end the nursing before bedtime first. I know that a lot of people say this should be the last to go. But, what ends up happening is that you cave becasue it's the only way to get them to sleep. In my experience, I nursed for MONTHS just at bedtime. It was so hard on them because they were tired, couldn't be distracted/offered something else and it added a new element to the bedtime saga. If you decide to do this one first, the daytime weaning is easier. You can put him in the car or stroller for a nap if you had to (short term), offer a snack, distract, and sometimes they can forget just because they are busy.

I am for child led weaning as well. But, my twins couldn't let go of that last nursing before bed and couldn't get to sleep wihtout nursing. Out of the blue, I told them one day that I had a boo boo and I had band aids on. They wanted to see and I showed them the band aids and gave and exaggerated but gentle "Ouch! Please don't touch". They kept saying "Poor Mama!". That night when they wanted to nurse, I reminded them that I had a boo and ouch, please don't. So, we all just snuggled. IT WORKED! They actually fell asleep without nursing! I did this for several night. They kept asing me if I still had the boo boos all day and night. They were very concerned for me- I actually felt bad. Bit, in the end, they weaned and didn't even ask after a few days. So, this is what worked for me. I also felllike they were ready and just needed a way to break the routine.

Good luck! What a great job you have done!

 

Mel, how old were yours when you got them finally weaned?

Jackie, were you already pregnant again when you weaned?

 

I also dropped the before bed nursing then the am one. In my case there were tears for a couple of days from the kids and I just stayed steadfast that they couldn't nurse then. By day 3 it was barely an issue. They would still ask sometimes but I just used distraction at that point (nothing really worked those first 3 days, they just cried )

 

QUOTE(~rosie~ @ Sep 9 2008, 09:42 PM) [snapback]972352[/snapback]
Jackie, were you already pregnant again when you weaned?

Umm.. yep. I thought my breasts were hurting because I was weaning. I couldn't even help my twins out of the tub after a bath they hurt so much! When I discovered I was pregnant I had already planned on weaning. I found out I was pregnant on a Thursday and that next monday was going to be the start of dropping nursing sessions. Funny deal!
My first OB appt. the nurse practitioner I saw told me I HAD to stop nursing. I didn't argue, knowing that my last nursing session was going to be that following Monday (since I was already in the process of weaning) at 10 weeks pregnant.

 

We just dropped the bedtime session completely.... mostly because it was a matter of one remembering at the last minute and they were using nursing as a bedtime stall tactic. I used my head cold to tell them Daddy was putting them to bed because Mommy is too tired. He did this for 3 days. Then, he had to work late. So, I put the pillow out of sight before bedtime, did the regular routine but brought in a special book we'd picked up from the library to read on the nursing couch. When we were done reading, they asked for pillow and I told them we were reading a new book instead since they are too big now for nursing at bedtime... but that they could still nurse tomorrow at naptime if they want. It's been a week and they've stopped asking at bedtime. I had to be firm with them but I have to be firm on everything so nothing new there. There were no tears except for Trevor one night because he's sick too and I almost caved but he accepted extra hugs and kisses as a replacement.

I don't mind naptime and they don't ask at other times so I'm no help on the final push but I figured I'd share what's working so far.

 

Hi Rosie!

They were done just when they turned three. The last several months (4-5 months, maybe) were just before bed/ night time.

Honestly, I think it was harder for me then it was for them. It was more of a habit for them- I just needed to figure out how to break the habit without breaking their spirit. I really am all for led weaning and I felt horribe trying to get them to stop. But a big part of our issue was that we wern't getting any sleep- they wanted to nurse all night long, and I was just a human pacifier. I got to the point where not sleeping for three years was really taking a toll on all of us. Also, I started to dread bedtime/ nightime. I think that breastfeeding is a mutual relationship and if someone isn't comfortable anymore, then it may be time to stop. After three years, I gave it my all! I did feel bad putting an end to it- but, honestly, I think I might have been the first to send the off to college nursing! :lol:

Just wondering when is his birthday? Is he a new two or closer to three?

I imagine you must be uncomfortable (physically). I can understnat not wanting to nurse and infant and a toddler. It's good that your're trying to wean him now and not closer to your due date. You don't want him to resent the baby.

 

I completed weaning my ds when he was 23 months and I was 3 months pregnant with the girls. When we were down to nap and bedtime, I picked nap to wean from first. After lunch I read him a book and then we went for a walk. He would fall asleep in the stroller and I got some exercise. I was able to transfer him to his bed without waking him. I did this for a few months... the weather was nice and it worked and I had GD so I needed to walk. About 2 weeks after I started walking for naps, I tackled bedtime. I had prepared him (I think it was a couple of days before with a daily reminder) that at bedtime we would read our books and we could cuddle until he fell asleep, but there would be no "nawny". The first 2 nights he cried and said nawny over and over again. I just hugged him and told him that mommy is still here. The third night he asked, but did not cry. He asked for several nights, but no crying.

Good luck!

 

When DD1 was born, DS was 18 months old. We had drastically cut down on nursing by me telling him that he had 2 minutes to nurse, then I would count to ten. For a while after DD1 was born I let DS nurse whenever he wanted (which really helped with engorgement). When it got to be too much, we went back to counting when I was ready for him to finish. He didn't like it, but he accepted it. By the time he actually weaned (forced, on his 3rd birthday) he was down to one minute, once a day. When I was pregnant with the twins, I did the same deal with DD1-she got to nurse certain times a day, for 2 minutes, and when I counted to 10 she was done. She weaned just after the twins were born (and after my milk came in-her exact words were "I want the OTHHHHEER milk!")

I hope that helps. If he really struggles with it, you could also consider the token nurse. I had a friend who nursed her son until he was over 4, but it was literally only 10 seconds a day!