we tried CIO but is this normal... LONG Sorry

we had the 4 month appt and our doctor said that they didn't need to eat at night and we needed to do CIO to get them to fall asleep by themselves. she told us to do the routine and lay them in bed sleepy but awake, when theys start crying look at the clock and after 5 minutes go in there, talkt to them for a minute. after they start cying go in there after 10 minutes, then 15, then 20. never leave them longer than 20 minutes.

well, we did it (i mean my husband did it -i couldn't). Garrett fell asleep within 20 minutes not a peep -poor thing was exhausted. Grant is another story. He cried for about an hour before he fell asleep. I was so excited and ready for this. Well, 45 minutes after they were asleep and right when we got into bed, Grant woke back up and started screaming. this was at 10:30. so we did the times: 5 min, 10, 15, and 20, 20... 2 hours went by: it was 12:30 and grant was still awake and so were we. we were so tired b/c they only let us sleep like 3 hours the night before. I gave in and rocked him to sleep. It took about 5 minutes and he was asleep. I laid him on his back and he woke back up screaming. i went in there and put him on his belly and he fell right asleep.

so we went to bed and just 1 hour later Garrett woke up all upset. I was so tired I just picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. Then at 4:30 they both woke up and we couldn't get them to go back to sleep. we fed them at 5:30 and the immediately went back to sleep.


So FINALLY, here are my quesitons:

Is it normal for them to wake up just an hour after they fall asleep?

How long is too long to let them cry it out?

Is it normal for them to wake up so much after they cried for so long?

My babies love to sleep on their bellies, but can you really let them cry it out on their bellies? I would think they would throw up.


Thank you for your help. I just feel like we are hurting them. You should of saw Grants face when I picked him up last night. Like a face of releif. I just melted me.
THANKS

 

I know many will say that 4 months is too young, but mine did sleep through at 3 months old, so I think they can go without eating at night. It is normal for them to wake, and is sounds like he needs to learn how to soothe himself back to sleep. We found that going in at intervals made it worse. I would usually give 20 min before going in, because if they didn't stop by then, then they did need help.

Good luck, it does get worse as they learn, but once they learn it--it will be easy!

 

I will tell you our story: My girls did not sleep through the night until 2 weeks before they turned 1. By the end, they were sometimes waking/crying for one bottle, sometimes not. It wasn't until they were on mostly table foods that they were eating enough to make it through. Even then, at 4 months, they would sleep for a few hours, then want a bottle, and then go back to sleep and possibly wake for one more.

They now sleep 12-14 hours a night without a peep. They are fabulous sleepers now.

Some babies just can't do it; it truly depends on how much they are getting during the day. My girls never drank a ton during the day (reflux) and as much as it sucked, for us it was easier to give them a bottle and have them sleep great the rest of the night than to try and let them cry it out.

Just sharing our experience/philosophy. It worked for us.

I can't answer any questions in relation to CIO because we just didn't do it.

 

I am not really a fan of CIO or waiting for these time intervals to pass when it makes you go against your mother's instincts. If you don't feel good doing it, and you think it's detrimental to your child, don't do it. Do what works, and do what's good for your child. There is so much advice out there but no one is the authority on everything. You just have to do what you think is best for your child.

It is normal for a baby to wake up an hour after they fall asleep. There is an excellent article on Dr. Sears about this -

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Babies go through short cycles of REM and nonREM sleep. They switch between periods of light sleep and deep sleep. They can wake up frequently during periods of light sleep, and sometimes they don't know how to put themselves back to sleep. That's where we come in, to help them back to sleep and teach them how to go back to sleep on their own.

Regarding how long to let them cry, that is where your mother's instinct comes in. You know when your child needs you. If he's fussing, he's probably ok. But if he's full on crying, the chances are pretty slim he's going to be able to calm himself down, other than just falling asleep from exhaustion, so that's when you go in.

I think it makes sense for the baby to wake up after crying for a long time. When they are more relaxed and comforted, they'll probably sleep longer, or will be more likely to put themselves back to sleep if they wake up. If they were stressed when they were last awake, then waking up again will likely be a stressful experience and it makes sense that they would cry.

The Dr. Sears articles helped me to understand their sleep cycles and how things work. Generally I think it's best to comfort the child. I wouldn't let them CIO on their bellies. I'd be worried about stuffy noses and their faces in the mattress.

I hope that helps.

 

CIO is such a hard thing to do. I've tried with all mine, but did quit. I am a wimp! I made them CIO for naps during the day, though. They all did the wake up thing after about an hour until they learned to stay asleep, which was after the crying wound down to less frequency. With my oldest dd I went in every 5 min like that, and with the others I waited them out for at least 20 before going in. I made better progress faster with the others than with the one I went in with.

I do occassionally let one of my boys CIO at night when he's up at 4am fussing but has been fed, diapered, and nothing else is wrong. The first night it took 2 hours, the next time it took him about 1 hour, now he's at 20 minutes. But, being the wimp I am, if he goes over the 20-30 minutes, I go rock him and he's asleep in 5 minutes and then sleeps until 8 usually.

 

Is it normal for them to wake up just an hour after they fall asleep?

When my girls were the age of your they would wake up about 30 min to an hr after they fell asleep. I would go get them and rock them back to sleep.

How long is too long to let them cry it out?

I personally think two hrs of crying is way to long. I didn't start CIO until my girls were 8.5 months old. I think at that age they need the comfort of knowing mommy "will come if I need her". In HSHHC it says not to let a baby cry for more then a hr.

Is it normal for them to wake up so much after they cried for so long?

I'm not sure, I never had a problem because I never let them cry that long. But I would think it would be normal. They are all worked up and they want some comfort from mommy.

My babies love to sleep on their bellies, but can you really let them cry it out on their bellies? I would think they would throw up.

I wouldn't let them CIO on there bellies. My girls also love to sleep on their bellies and when I did CIO I put them on their backs and when they were done crying they got on the bellies and fell asleep.


If I were you I would hold off until at least 6 months of age. They are still young, and need that extra comfort. I enjoyed holding and rocking as long as possible because the day is comming were they aren't going to want to be held, rocked and cuddled. They can learn how to fall asleep on their own when they get older, just ebjoy them. I know you are tired but one day you might wish you spent more time enjoying it. I will get better .

 

quote:
Is it normal for them to wake up just an hour after they fall asleep?

It is normal. There is a sleep cycle that happens some where around 45 min. to an hour and they are just waking and not naturally going back to sleep at that time (my nephew can't do it either!)

Some would let them cry forever. I found that going in only started the time process over and if I just left them (mostly had to during naps) they would go to sleep because they know that I wasn't coming in.

THAT SAID.... I think 4 mos. is a little young (for my taste, my pedi said mine could cio at that age as well but I didn't at that point). So, if you need to do it for one and then rock the other for 5 min. you can do that and get a few more nights of better sleep and try again when they are 5 mos. or 6 mos.....

Some kids just aren't cut out for it (some parents aren't either and that's ok too!!)

quote:
In HSHHC it says not to let a baby cry for more then a hr.

I believe this is only at nap time. At bedtime I think it's to "extinction"....

 

I know this is an emotionally charged issue and everyone has a different opionion. You have the make the right choice for you and your family.

That said, I do not support CIO and I definitely think 4 months is too young. Most people recommend starting no younger than 6 months. At 4 months, they are still learning to trust you and the world around them. They need comforting and reassurance. In my opinion, two hours is far too long to let them cry at this age. If they are crying that long they may not be ready for bed or they've become so upset they cannot sleep.

 

I am doing CIo now at 10 and a half months. I think 4 months is much too young but I know the pressure you get from DH, MIL friends and everyone. It is working out well at this age. I actually got the Ferber book (which CIO is based on) Solve your childs sleep problems, which makes me feel better about doing it. I want to do it properly not based on second hand information. In the book it says to help your child learn how to fall asleep you use the progressive waiting approach.

Day one: first wait is 3 minutes, second wait is 5 minutes, third wait is 10 minutes then subsequent waits are 10 minutes. The next day is 5 mins, 10 mins, 12 mins and 12. Third day is 10,12,15,15. Forth day is 12, 15,17, 17. Fifth is 15, 17, 20 and 20. He says if these intervals seem too long you change make them less as long as the waiting periods increase progressively. He says for naps if they haven't fallen asleep by half and hour go and get them out of bed.

Go with your gut.