"we" really means you and a question....

Hi,

Ok, so i'm going to start by venting but just for a moment. Just wondering how many of you have husbands etc that constantly say 'we' but really mean "you". I will explain with an example: today as we were getting out of the car at the public pool....Husband: "hmmm....did 'we' bring hats for the kids? Me: "well I didn't, did you?" Husband: "how brutal, next time "we" really need to remember them, it's so hot today." What he means is that next time "I" need to remember them and "I" am brutal because "I" forgot. this one comment wouldn't bug me, but I hear comments like this all day long on the weekends..... did 'we' bring extra diapers, did 'we' bring their sippy cups, did 'we' remember a snack. AGHHHH.. Sigh, I feel like a Mom to 3 kids sometimes! LOL.

Now that I have that out of my system , I have a question and I have to apologize in advance as I know that this is a repeat...but I'm just not sure on this one. We moved our kids to their toddler beds a couple of weeks ago and it hasn't gone too badly. they sleep through the night, don't leave the room and haven't destroyed anything (yet.) BUT, they are still playing for hours after we put them to bed (and we refuse to go in), then one or the other gets up earlier than usual and wakes the other to play. This results in one or both of them being exhausted and grumpy all day and ready for an early night but then it's a vicious cycle as there is always one wanting to 'party' and keep the other up.
So my question is: they are 2.5 and have been in the same room from birth but I'm wondering if we should separate them. Any thoughts/experience on this?

Thanks.

 

sorry about the "we" issues! ugh!! I feel sometimes like I'm raising 3 kids too!

as for the toddler beds, finally at 37 months or so, I decided to give up naps... now the kids are tired at night and go to sleep really quickly... I was wondering today if I were able to reintroduce naps so that they'll get some more sleep, but at least they are sleeping about 11 hrs at night. 8p to 7a mostly. I wish they got more, but for now that's what it is. At least they quit waking up early... my ds had been waking up the prior 2 wks before between 6a and 6:30a...

not sure that you are willing to try to give up naps... but it has been a good thing for us. before that, it was a disaster to get to bedtime... it was well after 9:30p and I was "over it"... and it was frustrating. so, to answer your question... maybe you could separate and keep naps, or maybe just get them tired enough to fall asleep even though they still share.

 

Hi =) FWIW, I have 4 kids, as well =) Ha ha ... well, 3 kids and a hubs. No, my husband ... NEVER and I mean NEVER helps with getting the kids out of the house or packing for them ... that is totally my job and he doesn't even think to ask if I (or 'we') brought them this or that. It is frustrating but I am a SAHM so I tell myself that maybe he doesn't have to worry about the kids or the laundry or dishes but at least I don't have to worry about the bills or rolling out the trashcan =) We sort-of have our "jobs" and mine is the kids ...

So, toddler beds went well for us for about a month then they started having all out parties and life got LOTS better when we split them up. I thought I would be so sad but THEY were so excited to have their own rooms that I could not help but be excited for them. I swear it made our sleep time battles MUCH better and I wish I had done it 6 months earlier. =) good luck =)

 

So, with the "we" thing - my favorite technique has been to send DH off with the girls on their own & not say a word about what he has/hasn't packed. I find the best way for anybody to learn what is or isn't needed when you're out & about is to be caught at the mall with a kid who's just had an accident & no change of clothes in sight. At least, that's how I learned... I will also say things like "Well then, next time you are in charge of remembering to bring the hats" if he makes snarky comments (and I hold him to it - with no reminders).

I have no suggestions on the toddler bed issue - our girls have always shared a room & won't be separating any time soon (in fact, baby #3 will be joining them eventually so it's going to get crowded!).

 

If you have space to separate them I would!
We often have the same conversation about the diaper bag – I think at one point I gave him an ear full about why do I always have to be the one to remember everything. I agree with pp have him take the girls and get them out the door and see how he does – often DH will pack or sorta pack a bag and I just let him figure it out. He does help now and sometimes even reminds me of things I forget. But even after (almost) 3 years I am amazed at how often we forget something – you would think I would have this down by now.

 

Maybe you could try turning the 'we' thing round on him? Ask him "Did we remember to xyz?" before he asks you, or reply with a 'we' like "no we didn't remember hats, we should try and remind each other next time to make sure we have them". It might actually get him to take more notice (the next time you go out you could then say to him "oh, remember we need to bring the hats this time, can you get them?") or at least show him how annoying it is!

As far as the bed time antics go separating them probably would help a lot. If you don't really want to have them in their own rooms you could try putting one in their bedroom and letting one fall asleep in your room then moving them across once they're both sleeping. Or even try a staggered bedtime when you put one to bed and let them fall asleep before putting the other to bed, that way they can't feed off each other. Although what worked best for me was to sit in the room so that they couldn't chat and keep each other up.

 

Thanks so much for the replies, I am definitely going to try out these suggestions.