We are at 10 weeks with twins.....have a millions questions!

Hello all,

New to the board and have alot of questions. I am a stay at home Dad with a 22 month old little girl. We found out we are having twins about a month ago and my wife and I are still in a state of shock. We planned the second baby...but never expected twins. We are both overwhelmed at the moment and just do not know what to do. We were all set for 1 baby and knew that would be pretty easy...but with 2, we are just really confused. I am looking for someone in a similar situation to discuss do and dont's about what they did. I was in the military for 20 years and am an A B C....type guy and am just looking for some support on how to do all this!! Help....!!!!

 

Welcome to TS and congrats on your twins. I have 24 months between my oldest and my twins. It's busy I wont lie, but totally worth it.

 

Give it a while to settle in. Twins are tons of fun even if the first few months are crazy. you can do it.

 

I wasn't much of a structured person before twins. More fly by the seat of my pants. That has changed! But everyone is different and you will find your stride and what works for you and yours. It is very overwhelming at first, but give it some time and let it sink in.

I don't have anything to compare it to, but having twins hasn't lived up to any of my nightmares that I thought of when I first found out. :lol:

This forum is a really great place for ideas and support. It was a great place, especially that first year, to come and ask questions and see how others did things too.

Congrats and welcome!

 

Welcome to Twinstuff and congrats on your twins. :Clap:

 

Thanks for all the kind words. This site looks pretty good and I should get alot of information out of it. I guess I will ask a few questions. First...did any of you all get help? Like a Nanny to come an help out in the mornings? My wife works full time and it planning on taking 12 weeks once the babies get here. My 22 month old goes to a Mom's morning out program now 2 days a week. She loves it!! And so do I!! But the program ends around the same time the babies are born. So I am wondering if a Nanny would be good just to get things going once my wife goes back to work.

 

Welcome and congrats! My son was 28 months old when my girls were born. To be honest I coulnd't even talk about the fact that there were "2 in there" for quite a while...shock doesn't begin to describe my feelings after finding out! Like you said we were prepared (barely) for one more, not 2! I am a very organized and like to have a routine...I made this a priority when the girls arrived. Everyone has different approaches but for our family having a predicatble daily routine is very important.

My husband was home for 2 months after the girls were born and my son is in daycare 3 days a week. Having someone to come in and help might be a good idea if it's something you can afford. Having an extra set of hands is always helpful. You could always take it day by day and see where you need help the most. I know in the early months I would have traded anything for a night nanny. I find the nights hard to handle but once the sun comes up everything looks brighter!

 

We are in the same boat then!! We have a 20 month old daughter and tried for 1 more baby and got twins! Our twins are due on our first daughter's due date! (Feb 19).
We were in complete shock as well for a good solid week before we could process it. Now we bounce back between super excited and super terrified. Laugh.
But you know what? I bet when you had your daughter you thought that was hard. Well I am sure this will be the same thing, as we won't know any different. Meaning they'll be here and life will become an assembly line of feeding, changing, etc and somehow you will just get through it! And I'm sure enjoy it too.

For me - it will be hard as our daughter is not in daycare, and my husband travels all across Canada for his job! So for some days in a row, I will be a "single mom" with 3 children!!!!

I would definitely recommend preparing freezer meals before hand (stews, soups, lasagna, etc) and I read a twin book that said to COMMIT people to helping right before babies are born. Like get out a calendar and say "ok you can do Tues AM's for 2 hours? Great. And mark it down" -- That way you or your wife aren't hunting people down to help. I thought that was a great idea.


Congrats on the twins! Feel free to ask any q's you like!

 

What an amazing double blessing twins are! So congrats on the two new ones being added to your family. I won't lie, the first few months were a blur, so take lots of video and pictures so you can look back on that time. My husband and I got in more fights during those first few months than we had ever before. We were extremely tired and we were both home. LOL, one of our biggest fights had a make-up session when the twins were 4.5 months old that produce another little one. So be careful. Anyways, I LOVE having twins, it is soooo much fun watching them interact with each other. Our twins were #5 and #6, with #7 on the way shortly after. So you and your wife can do it, and you will be so proud of yourselves when you see what you can accomplish together as a family. Count yourself blessed.

 

My oldest went to daycare full time until the babies were about 10 weeks. I then moved and have had all 3 home with me, except for 1 day a week when my oldest does go to a daycare.

 

Congratulations on your twins!!!!!!! Welcome to TS!!!!!!!!!

 

I am an A B C kind of girl and when the twins were born, my oldest was 16 months old! I think you just have to remember is everyday your oldest is getting bigger, smarter, brighter and as much as they challenge us, it just gets easier. I had a lot of help for the first 2 months and then I started to request that people don't come around as often because I had to do it on my own sooner than later.
Twins are so much fun and I love the interaction between all my children! Its a blessing and its awesome because not everyone gets to do it! You will be superdad for the rest of your life!!!!

Congratulations! There is a wealth of information whithin these girls/guys on TS.

 

Well like another member said in this thread....we are still in complete shock. We are almost not excited yet, if that makes sense. We are just not sure where to start. I think once we find out the sex of the twins, things will come more into place. We are on a pretty good schedule now with our daughter. It is real easy right now. So I guess the biggest thing is figuring out what to do once everyone is here. We are thinking about some sort of help but are not sure where to begin to look. We are thinking some sort of Nanny that would do some housework and just help out during the day. I was pretty good about getting up with our first when she was a new born. So many things are going to change!!

 

I can relate. I found that we are having twins last December. Like you'all we are planning for a second baby but not twins. DH was totally shocked. But I was overjoyed. I been dreaming to have twins ever since I was a little girl. And now DH loves the twins and now they 3 months old and DS is 28 months . You be surpised that how much you know. Having twins is about routine and schedules. Yes we have some challenging moments. But DS took it very well and he loves his little brothers. And we still (try) to make time just for the DS(story times and bath times) We are so blessed. Congrats it's going to be lots of work and FUN!:youcandoit:

 

Congrats!!! Once the shock wears off you will realize how normal it will seem! My mil stayed with us for a while then I had a moms helper come in as well to play with my older kids (they were 2 & 5) and that helped tons! Freezer meals are a lifesaver as well in the beginning. It will all fall into place!

 

It's so funny how 2 little babies can completely throw grown adults into a whirlwind!! We have 6 other kids.. thought we would have 7 and be done hahaha were we shocked too! I am sure we will get into a routine but even after doing this many times before we are still nervous! I am trying to figure out how I will grocery shop and most importantly how DH and I will be able to have date nights...(taking 1 baby out is easy.. but 2? ) YIKES!! Good luck... I am sure we will all figure it out and there is so much advice on here!

 

We were in the same situation. Our daughter was on a great schedule, life was "easy", etc (she was 2.5 yrs when the boys were born). I would say if you can get a nanny/helper during the day for at least the first 3 months while you get your feet wet do it! We had my sister move in with us for a while and she was super helpful the first few months, but then as I settled in to our new life, and developed new systems for getting things done (I'm also super A B C) I found it easier to just do everything myself. But those first few months an extra set of hands was invaluable, especially with housework while they are so young and sleeping a fair amount. The extra hands to do the not-so-fun stuff will also afford you guys to give your daughter a little extra one-on-one. I also liked having one set person (if you can manage) because they get to know the routine on a daily basis and can just jump in...you don't have to give each new person the daily run-down.
Also go buy a couple twin books about getting through the first year, and visit this site often. I have found that the more I read, even if its the same type of advice, the more it becomes more common...if that makes sense.
If you have any more specific questions, just ask!

 

First of all, Congratulations! I think you will be surprised at how well you adjust to having twins. You've been through this before with your daughter, so at least you have the new parent thing out of the way. My husband stayed home with me the first week home from the hospital, which was fantastic. After that, my mom and other family members would come over and help out. However, once you establish a routine, you will find that even though it's tough, it is manageable. I would have loved to have had someone to clean my house once or twice a week, might be a good idea if you can swing it financially. My family would come and watch the babies while I caught up on sleep, which is a must. The lack of sleep is probably the hardest to get through. I went back to work at 6 weeks with just me and hubby taking care of them. We took shifts...him the midnight - 3 am, and me the 3 am until I went to work--highly recommend doing things in shifts if it is just the two of you. Good luck, it's a great ride!!

 

Congrats and welcome! This is a great place for advice!

 

Well I think the shock is finally starting to get better. We went to the doctor today and had an ultrasound and everything looks awesome. The babies are growing like they should...both heartbeats were 171 (that might be girls?) and they were really moving around.

So I do have a few more questions. My wife and I are really thinking about hiring a Nanny for a while when they get here. Someone that could come and help out during the day and help with some housework and stuff. Where would you go about trying to find that person? And what do they charge? Any idea?