Was this rude?

Ok before I can tell you the comments I think it will require some back ground so here we go.
For the last four days DD has been sick. She is teething (I am pretty sure) and has had a low grade fever. She is miserable, I cant set her down without her screaming. Up until yesterday she wouldn’t even take a nap and wasn’t eating solids. In addition she is waking up constantly throughout the night. Now add in the fact that both her brothers have colds, which my three year old is using as a excuse to be bratty, well you can imagine it has been crazy.
My DH works 12 hour sifts and Monday was only home for 4 hours, 3 and a ½ of which he was asleep for. So he decided since he hasn’t been able to help and, according to him, I look like the walking dead he was going to take tonight off. That way he could sleep a few hours this morning and then be up to help out. So he told his sergeant he wanted to take tonight off because everyone was sick at home and he wanted to help out (he has plenty of time availably). As long as he is using sick time it is allowed.
The sergeant told him “well it sounds like your wife needs to suck it up. She needs to realize that taking care of sick kids is part of the job of being a mom, you don’t need to help her she needs to step up and take care of her responsibilities and not depend on you”
First off I didn’t ask it was his idea and secondly this is the same guy who has taken time off to help his wife out when their kids are sick.
I am annoyed beyond belief now. I told my husband to just forget it and go to work because I cant stand the idea of this guy thinking I am a bad mom who cant handle it.

 

It would take every single ounce of restraint I had to not march into my husbands work and tell his boss to go f himself. I'm so angry for you!

That's what it means to be in a marriage and a partnership. Sometimes you need help. And that's what you husband is for. If you need your husband, keep him home. Screw his boss ... he's sounds like a jerk. Ugh. I HATE HATE HATE comments like that. Last I checked, your DH is there father too. So why is it so bad for him to help?

Now I'm all worked up! Hugs to you!

 

I would be very angry!!

Dianna

 

I would have slapped that man upside his head and asked him to try looking after 3 sick children who are up all night and then try to function the next day :diablo: !! Men can be such dumbasses some times lol. I think that it is sweet that you DH was taking the night off to help you why on earth shouldnt he help you they are his kids too! Just because you ask your husband for help doesnt mean you are a bad mum at all. If he is saying that then that must mean that most of us are shunting our responsibilties on here. Hell we must all be pretty crap mums lol! I think you should forget that man he sounds like an idiot. Big :hug: to you! Hope your kids feel better soon x

 

So, how did your husband respond??? I think he should have said something along the lines of the kids are 'both' our responsibilities. :hug:

 

Yikes!!!! I'd want to slap him too!!!!

 

Just wow. Its not your SOLE job to take care of the kids. He's their father and can take care of them too. My DH would have been so offended not just for me, but also for himself. He prides himself on being an involved father and gets so angry when people belittle his role in their lives.

 

QUOTE(caba @ Sep 24 2008, 07:12 PM) [snapback]995574[/snapback]
It would take every single ounce of restraint I had to not march into my husbands work and tell his boss to go f himself. I'm so angry for you!

That's what it means to be in a marriage and a partnership. Sometimes you need help. And that's what you husband is for. If you need your husband, keep him home. Screw his boss ... he's sounds like a jerk. Ugh. I HATE HATE HATE comments like that. Last I checked, your DH is there father too. So why is it so bad for him to help?

Now I'm all worked up! Hugs to you!


Uh, what Erica said! It's not just mom's job to take care of sick kiddos, ugh!

 

QUOTE(caba @ Sep 24 2008, 02:12 PM) [snapback]995574[/snapback]
It would take every single ounce of restraint I had to not march into my husbands work and tell his boss to go f himself. I'm so angry for you!

That's what it means to be in a marriage and a partnership. Sometimes you need help. And that's what you husband is for. If you need your husband, keep him home. Screw his boss ... he's sounds like a jerk. Ugh. I HATE HATE HATE comments like that. Last I checked, your DH is there father too. So why is it so bad for him to help?

Now I'm all worked up! Hugs to you!


And then some... I'm sorry your dh's boss is a weenie.

 

what a jerk I would be so furious

 

Sounds like he's a little bitter b/c his Mom probably never took care of him. I don't know how you restrained yourself...I don't know how your husband did either. Sometimes people say things that are so shocking that you don't know how to react until after the fact...don't you hate that? I hope things get better soon for you...take care.

 

Ouch, yea I would be p*ssed!!! What a jerk to say that. No advice but just wow! the nerve of some people amazes me :angry:

 

They are your husbands kids too. What an idiot. :hug: I hope your littlies feel better soon.

 

That boss sounds like a sexist pig!! I would be furious. Clearly he has no idea what it entails to take care of a family. I hope you get some rest.

 

Woah.... tell me where he is and I'll get him for ya! :diablo:

 

WOW! That's all I can say!

I fell bad for his wife- he must be a real peach to live with!

Hope everyone is better soon!

 

What an a-hole. Um, does this guy have twins?? It would take every ounce of restraint to keep myself from responding and defending myself. I cannot stand men that have the mentality that it's the man's job to bring home the bread and the women's job to take care of the kids and house. It is so old fashioned. So the man's job is 40 hrs/week and the wife gets to work 24/7??

Don't let him ruin your chance at having some much needed help and rest. It's not worth it.

 

No, it was not rude. Rude simply isn't a strong enough word for that jerk. It was an uncalled for, unprofessional, and completely inapprorpiate response. And I would clarify the sick leave time off policy with him and if he didn't do a 100% about face would file a complaint against him.

Or in a more passive agressive moment I might pack up my menagerie and take all the sick, screaming children into DH's work and leave them for DH and his boss to deal with while I went home and got some sleep.

ETA: My friend J insisted that I tell you that she would call his wife.

 

ummm, WOW. How RUDE....
You have every right to be irritated ~ he sounds like an idiot!! :wacko: