Warning..they bite

Lena and anna are 18 months and have began biting. Their cousin bit lena once and thats all it took. I tried redirection, shadowing,telling them no.. im at a loss. They dont bite the other kids~we have a 5yr old and 2 6year olds~ just themselves..and the dog. My mil said to lightly bite her, my mom said to tap her hand. *sigh* there are no wrong or right answers so what did you all do or try. Thanks guys beth

 

I have no advice, just going through the same thing. DS has just started to bite his sister back. She has been biting for a long time. GL

 

We bought a book called "Teeth are not for biting" on a whim- my major biter, Orion, cried the first 8 or so times I read it to them. Clearly he knew that biting was wrong. In addition to that, I put mine immediately in the PNP away from us and cuddle/do something special with the bitten baby (take them in the potty to show them a mirror/outside for a second)- just to give them something special and sort of reinforce that biting loses privilege.

 

We had (!!!) biters also and one thing that seems counter-intuitive worked for us: give the biter attention first and verbalize possible reasons for why he/she bit. "oh honey, were you frustrated with your brother/sister taking that toy from you? it's not okay to bite. try saying 'no' instead. see, your sibling is still crying. it hurts to bite. let's see if you can make it better by hugging/stroking/giving ice to him/her." then go over to the crying kid, turn attention away from the biter and love up the one that got hurt. we obviously tried all sorts of other stuff also, but this seemed to work best.
remember: it's just a phase! it will get better!!

 

Call me mean, but I flicked their cheeks. My older kids each bit me once, I flicked their cheek, they never bit again. Liam bit me a couple of times, he would get over excited and bit my arm, leg or shoulder. If he tried to bite I flicked his cheek and put him down, turning my attention away. He hasn't bit again.

 

I think I am going to try this with my 2 year old DD. She is a biter and has even bit her baby sister. Time outs and giving attention to the victim hasn't worked with her.

 

we checked out a video from the library, "Don't Bite", has a really cute catchy song and the lady really explains that biting hurts etc.

 

We went through a biting phase, mostly due to one of my boys (E) feeling really, really frustrated that his brother (G) was always bossing him around. So when he'd had enough he'd bite his brother. He left some nasty marks.

What worked for us was knowing what was leading up to the biting and addressing that head-on. We dealt with E by making a big deal about how "biting hurts brother," etc. But I think his biting was such a last-resort measure that correcting the behavior itself didn't really seem to go anywhere. But what really seemed to work is addressing the behavior that led E to bite his brother in the first place.

So I really worked with G (the bossy, non-biter) on not taking toys away from his brother, not pushing him around, etc. Whenever I saw him being bossy to his brother I would address his behavior and remind him, fairly sternly, that we don't push our brothers around or be mean or whatever. It took a lot of repetition, but he did seem to get it after a while. Once the bossy brother learned how to be more gentle and not push his brother around all the time then E stopped biting.

Maybe it was just a phase they would have grown out of anyway, but I do think getting to the root if the issue is what made the biting end. I always kind of wanted to let them work their issues out on their own, but I eventually realized that for my two that was creating more problems than it was solving. So, I don't hover or anything. I just don't tolerate any bossiness or meanness between them.

I still have to be watchful and make sure G doesn't get too bossy because I know if he does E will eventually resort to biting. An ounce of prevention and all that. haha.

Good luck!

 

Thanks so much for all of the great advice everyone i truly appricate it. Feeling kind of frustrated..you all understand

 

I think this works with some kids because they maybe don't realize that they're hurting someone when they bite. It didn't work with Spencer. He was my only biter and it went on for a long time. I tried everything... redirecting, being on the lookout for when it was going to happen, disciplining after, and more. Mostly he just bit me, and once in awhile he'd bite Sabrina (closest to his size) if he was mad at her. He bit when he was mad and when he wanted attention. I might be standing at the stove cooking dinner and he'd bite me on the back of the leg. Or he's be sitting on my lap and lean over and chomp on my shoulder. It drove me crazy! He eventually seemed to outgrow the phase, but it really was unpleasant.

 

We did a really big, negative reaction for biting. "NO! We do NOT bite. We use words.". Then a brief time out just to get them out of the situation. It's a phase that passes though.

 

Our most effective thing was to say "no bite, kiss" it gave him something alternative and acceptable to do with his mouth. Also, at that age, they are getting molars which can lead to more biting. I found that when teeth were coming through, biting was always worse. Also, we found at at 3 1/2 that Jon had a severe expressive speech delay (wish we knew it earlier--he barely missed qualifying for EI in speech at age 21 months), and that probably had a lot to do with the biting.