Wanting to be carried

Both of our little ones (well not so little anymore as they rapidly approach their second birthday) can walk well and Maia just loves walking. But Tal just refuses to walk, she wants to be carried ALL the time. Even around the house. From the moment she wakes, her arms her held up to us and she says "up up" continually until we pick her up.

Some of it is definitely that she likes to be carried as she frequently kicks up a fuss before we put her in the stroller. But we worry there may be more going on. Are we spoiling her (DH is positive this is the problem)? Could it be something physical (she's a 21 1/2 lb peanut - about the 5th percentile with ongoing anemia no matter what we give her)? Has anyone else had this problem? Did you manage to resolve it? How please? This is getting exhausting even if she's so light.

Thank you.
lisa

 

This sounds familiar. I have a little 21 lb peanut too. She is a mama's girl and she wants me to hold her all the time. I think she is just very aware of how small she is and how vulnerable she is, so she clings to "mommy." She goes through stages where she is more independent. I think the clinginess tends to come when she hits certain milestones. She grows up a little bit and she can do more things, and then she regresses a little. It can be a scary world out there! :laughing: When I can't hold her I try to divert her attention to a game or activity that I know she likes, or I tell her mommy's arms are tired or mommy has to cook, etc. She seems to understand better now, although we are nowhere past this. She will probably always want to be held.

 

I have one that has always wanted to be held too...I admit I gave in to him alot until he got too heavy to hold all the time! I still pick him up a lot (all 32 pounds of him!) but when he was about 2 years old I started telling him frequently that I couldn't pick him up but I would be happy to hold his hand while we walk together. Most times he prefers this to nothing!

A funny side note: A lot of times we tell our boys that our hands are full so we can't hold them, carry their toys, etc. So lately when they see our hands free and want us to pick them up they say "you have two hands..." Hilarious!

 

My dd is constantly wanting up, too. Mostly around the house. Soon as we go somewhere & I need to pick her up (say, crossing the street) it's the opposite....."No!!! WALK!!!"

She's also my more cuddly one & always wants to cuddle & hug. I think she just wants more physical attention. I've started doing like one of the pp's & offering to hold my hand; that seems to work a lot.

She was a really late walker (20 mos) & I do sometimes wonder if that has something to do with it. She has had problems with muscle development & does tire easily, so sometimes I think she might just be getting tired & want up. Other times, she just wants a better view of what's going on. I got step stools for them which they can carry around & that's helped a lot, too! When I'm in the kitchen & they want "up" I'll say "Go get your step stool & you can watch." Most of the time they're happy with that.

 

My DS is the same way. He wants to be carried all of the time. He says, "up up up" and if we don't respond to that then he says "hold you." He was also a late walker (16 months). I've tried ignoring him or just explaining to him that I can't or that he needs to walk. He will get in front of me and grab a hold of my leg so that I can't walk anymore. My DS weighs about 26+ lbs so he is no lightweight. I hope you get lots of good advice for us all.

 

We don't have the weight issue.... but after a long visit from the grandparents w/ lots of attn...... they are constantly wanting up. usually at the same time when it's just me. I physically can't carry both 28 pound toddlers anymore. So if they want to snuggle, I walk them over to the couch or somewhere comfy and they can both sit in my lap. I'm learning we have to be really strict about it. It's hard because sometimes you want to pick them up, but they are killing my back, neck, shoulders. The $ spent on massage and physical therapy and chiro, jeez!

As for going places, strollers are the rule. I'm keeping in stroller as long as possible.