Wanting Mommy all the time

Amy wants Mommy all the time. She will occasionally tolerate Daddy, but a lot of the time if DH tries to do something for her (get her down from the table, change her diaper, put her clothes on), she pitches a fit.

DH and I both work FT, and we try to share the parenting duties equally. We don't want to give in to this Mommy preference -- it's not fair to Sarah, me, or DH.

So far we've dealt with it case-by-case -- if it's no big deal for me to do it, I do it. But if I'm with Sarah or busy doing something else, DH will either take care of Amy (over her screaming protests) or give her the choice of waiting for me (if possible).

DH is frustrated, and says he wants us to formulate a consistent response. We can either give in as a general rule, or we can tell her "It's Daddy's turn to take care of you, and that's not going to change if you pitch a fit." DH says he can deal with her tantrums, he just doesn't want to be going "What should we do?" every time it happens.

Suggestions?

 

Trevor is the same way, he wants Mommy. Unfortunately he can't have me all the time. So we just let him know that Daddy can do things for him too and DH just takes him and he has a fit and then figures out that Daddy can help. I don't want Trevor to only want or need me, so we are trying to nip it in the bud and not let the fits stop Daddy helping out. Personally, if I was you, I would not give in when she wants you. Tell her it's Daddy's turn to help or Daddy can help you with that, especially since your DH is okay with her fits and seems to be on board with it. You don't want her only wanting you as she gets older. I know it's not easy to deal with the fits and crying, but I really feel it makes things easier in the long run. Good luck Alden.

 

We are in the exact same boat. My daughter ALWAYS wants me. And, since I am the primary wage-earner and my DH is a part time SAH parent, we try hard to share parenting when I am home, so that I get my fair time with them. But, my daugher had a LONG SCREAMING tantrum last night when DH tried to put her to bed instead of me. Let's just say she has a very STRONG personality. In the end, I caved and put her to bed.

I've read that its normal that some kids have a preference for one parent over another, and that those preferences change over time throughout childhood. I've also read that it is not good to ALWAYS defer to that preference and not good to ALWAYS ignore it. So, I'm not sure where this leaves things. :huh:

Meg M. -- Mom to Carter and Fiona, born March 2006 -- 2 years old (and it shows!)

 

We are in the same boat here, except now they both want mommy all the time. The difference is I can't handle the crying "moooommmmy" over and over and I end up getting them. I just want to say :hug99: and maybe we can all get some advice.

 

Before Evan came, Audrey was the same way. WE didn't give in, even though daddy tried to get out of some diaper changes! She is better now.. just a stage.