Want to go out but feel so limited

Okay, I have been in the house since 24 weeks ( I will be 35 weeks on Monday) It is worth it because I know that if I continued to work I definitely would have went into ptl.

I was fine at first, I still had some energy to do things and I was helping my mom plan my shower and shop for the babies.

But these last couple of weeks have been the most difficult as it is so hard to get around. My friends live kind of far and they are at totally different places in their lives that it is hard to relate to me at times.

I love that I found this site and have learned so much and feel normal, like I fit in.

I also know that I should enjoy this while I can because once the babies are here life will be crazy. But I went from being very active and out and about to being confined to this apartment 24 hours a day.

I try to run an errand here or there but since I am so caught up on things, the errands are minimal (once a week)

DH works a very physical and long hour job so he is exhausted when he comes home and we are trying to save as much money as we can and he worries if we do anything, I will over do it.

It is just this transition phase of having nothing to do and the energy to NOT do it to mommyhood.

I guess I am being silly but it is really weighing on my mind lately.

 

:hug99: I can relate, I hardly go anywhere either. It gets so boring!!! I know you know this but you are almost done! I'm trying to look forward to the day when I have my body back. I know I will be busy with the babies but it will sure be better than sitting around. I hope time goes by fast for you, have you looked through the bedrest forum to get some ideas for passing the time?

 

I hear ya, I've been feeling the same way. When I first went off work, I tried to get out of the house every day for an errand just to feel like I was doing something, the more time that goes by, the less I can do. It was a treat for me today just to get out to go to the grocery store with DH (i haven't been out of the hosue since Wednesday), and now I'm beat!! It's funny when I look forward to doctor's appointments, b/c it's a trip out of the house! With the weather being cooler now I'm hoping to be able to get out and at least walk around the block (we have a small block) to get some labor going!

 

QUOTE(prairiemom3 @ Sep 16 2007, 07:27 AM) [snapback]409329[/snapback]
:hug99: I can relate, I hardly go anywhere either. It gets so boring!!! I know you know this but you are almost done! I'm trying to look forward to the day when I have my body back. I know I will be busy with the babies but it will sure be better than sitting around. I hope time goes by fast for you, have you looked through the bedrest forum to get some ideas for passing the time?



This is exactly how I feel, bored and looking forward to the day I get my body back! I would rather be super busy than sitting around. I feel hopeless, useless and basically like a big, fat ugly lump.
I guess we all get like that at times.

 

i just want an excuse to put on some makeup! i know i could do that and stay home, but somehow it seems pointless. sometimes i use my doc's appointments as an excuse to put on a little mascara, blush, etc.

 

I do have to say it's very good preparation for being a SAHM if that's what you are planning. The first six months are a little tricky to get out with twin infants. And even now, with my three kids and being pg I'm hardly out of the house... It can get lonely and discouraging....so it's good to pace yourself and recognize when you need to get out of your four walls. What about a date night with your dh?... Can you plan a night out at a restaurant, nothing too pricey, and then a movie?... it wouldn't require much walking or activity and it would make you feel like you did something special. We go to church on a regular basis, and have a congregation with tons of young moms..so believe it or not Sunday mornings in the church nursery feel like a sanity break for me. They are also starting up a MOPS thing, which I'm hoping to get out to. It's every other week, so not too demanding. I would start trying to connect with some RL moms so that maybe you can get some socialization after the babies arrive..."playdates" which are really for the mom's sanity ....not the babies! My favorite playdates as a FTM involved just one or two other moms...so that you aren't overwhelmed with too many babies...and so that you feel like you engage in good conversation. Local churches often have connections to hook you up with either MOPS or something similar... and of course local twin organizations too... but I think as a twin mom it's also refreshing to get together with moms who just have one...that way you can get your own special attention for having two, and maybe a little extra help since the other mother "only" has one.

Beating the blues of being inside your four walls 24-7 is a constant challenge as a SAHM and especially for a mom of twins, or of several very young children... you really have to strategize...make plans for getting out even when it exhausts you... recognize the signs of the four walls closing in on you... make an effort to get out by yourself, even if it's just to the grocery store in the evening. If you don't make this effort you will start to feel like you are living "groundhog day" over and over...except that your version involves 20+ diapers a day and who knows how many feedings... it can get really depressing if you don't face it with humor, a good attitude, and determination to force yourself out of the box every once in a while..just to see that the world is continuing around you...that you are MORE than a mother, and that it's important to foster the other side of you too... Anyway, just a word to the wise, from a mom who has been a SAHM for 4 years now... my toughest battles with the "at home blues" (not pp blues...but similar) were during the six months after my twins were born. And I still have those feelings every once in a while..especially when dh is working on a project over the weekend and it feels like I haven't had a "me" break in weeks. Anyhow...your feelings are normal, and it's great you recognize this now b/c it does get more difficult after the babies come...yes you have those "oooh" moments...but there's many other moments where you are just staring at these little drooling babies wanting to cry your eyes out b/c you feel bored to tears with the monotany of life as a SAHM. And especially for the first six months...when they are pretty much just eating, sleeping, pooping and crying...

P.S. "me" breaks after the babies arrived were sometimes as simple as a 20 minute undisturbed shower where I could cry my eyes out without hearing the babies scream!!! LOL!

 

I'm sorry you're feeling cooped up. When the babies are born, you won't have much time to worry about it!
I wish I lived nearby; I'd take you out! :hug99:

 

I also would take you somewhere if I were closer hun. :hug99: I know it is tough and it will be a while before you really get out again but boy once you do, you will realize how worth it and what an amazing job your did cookin' your twinfants!

 

I agree with pp about feeling like I can do less and less. It's like my body slammed on the brakes four days before hitting 28 weeks. I just finally accepted last night (after being near tears and feeling run down - just trying to have a normal, slow-paced, but still get out of the house and accomplish something day) that I really have to slow down daily. If I have an active day (mind you active for pg), then I REALLY pay for it the next day. So, I really have to minimize activity all around and accept this is how it'll be for now. Today I've let my family and some friends from church know I've made this decision and will just continue letting people know. Like my mom said taking care of myself is more important. I do worry, like you, about having energy to take care of them when they're born. However, women in my multiples' group assure me that I can and I will be able to take care of them and how I feel during pg is normal. :hug99: to you.

 

I did get a free 3 month trial membership to a local twin group which gives me time to meet some people. And my other twin friend on here (mommymeg) had her boys and I am sure we will get together.

I live on the third floor of my apartment complex with no elevator so I know getting out with twins will be difficult without someone helping me. And I live far from everyone so I will have to depend on Dh when he isn't working.

Date night seems good but we just haven't done anything like that in a long while.

I do look forward to my dr's appts and all though.

I am sure I will get stir crazy when they get here too but I will be so busy I may or may not notice, I won't know until it happens.

I don't belong to a church though so that won't work for me. There are lots in the area but I am non denominational so it isn't for me anyway.

Thanks for the enocuragement and words of wisdom. I will take them to heart and see what I can do.

They will be here soon, I can feel it.

 

Oh, you've done awesome to make it this long with twins!! The apartment bound would probably drive me nuts, but it is definitely worth it to have some full term babies! I am kind of freaked out about next April when my 2nd set comes! *that* is going to be so challenging!