Waking up in the morning

Hi everyone.

Of course, a sleep question!!

We have a very solid bedtime of 6:00 and Lucy and Maren are almost always asleep by 6:30 at the latest. Much to my consternation, they have really variable wake-up times. Some nights, they wake up crying around 3:00, we feed them and they go back to sleep until 6:30ish. Some nights, they wake up crying around 4:45 (like last night) and most of the time, one or both don't go back to sleep after this breast-feeding. I sometimes get them to sleep a little longer by letting them sleep on me. This morning I ended up with Lucy fast asleep on my brest friend pillow and Maren wide awake and peeping at me in the dark room like, "Oh, YOU! Let's play!!" Every now and then, they both wake up around 5:30, completely happy and ready for the morning.

Ideally, I'd either feed them at 3:00 consistently and have them go back to sleep until 6:30, or find the magic touch so they sleep until 5:30 solid. The worst mornings are when they get up just before 5....they are definitely hungry, but so not ready to start the day, but just a little too close to morning to consistently fall back to sleep.

I can't figure out what to do, and the different wake up times really affects the entire rest of the day. Any thoughts on why the different wake up times? Any suggestions on how to make it more consistent?

(Right now, their napping seems to be in some sort of transition. Some days, they can take awesome long naps, but most of their naps are around 30 minutes. I suspect that the napping may affect wake up time, but I am about to write another post about napping because that is another whole can of worms.)

 

We had a rule. At 6 months, we did not go in before 6:00. The only exceptions were of course, crazy crying and for feeding. To clarify feeding, in the beginning i would make an exception if i felt they had not eaten well the previous evening because of teeth or distraction or my bad timing. If i went in to feed they ALWAYS went back to their beds. (I think it is fine for them to be in your bed IF you are okay with that all the time. If you decide to do this, be prepared that it may make the 3:00 feeding demand last longer.)


So for your examples:
At 3:00 i would feed them and put them back to bed.
At 5:30 i would leave them for at least 15 minutes before going in (with the plan to increase this time over the next few weeks)
4:45 is tricky. I would lay there and pray like crazzzy they would go back to sleep! Seriously, I would try leaving them. If they didn't go back to sleep after 30 minutes (45 if they were quietly fussing) I'd probably get up and start the day.

Not every day will be perfect. Just make a goal for wake up time and work toward it. Along with that rule there is one more.. if they sleep past that time you must wake them up to maintain the consistency. (you are thinking, wouldn't that be a lovely problem to have!.. i am right there with you.. we do not ever sleep past our wake up time (even now, 7:00 Hannah is our on special alarm )

Consistent wake up time is important because it is the foundation for all naps through out the day. If you haven't yet seen the development of the (more) consistent morning nap it maybe because of varied wake up times.

One other thing we do that i think made a difference. (I have not seen the written anywhere.) We try not to go in when they are crying/fussing. we wait for them to pause, then go in. Even if they are really crying you can wait a minute until they take a breath! IMO it sets the president to call for me and wait to see if i am coming.

GL - I remember waking up at 5:00 and laying there holding my breath waiting for them to wake. I don't know about the kids but that wrecks havoc on moms sleep!

 

Amy, thanks for all your thoughts. This advice makes a lot of sense to me. I'll run this posting by my husband tonight and I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Today was a good morning: feeding at 3:00, back to sleep until 6:15. Then Maren took a terrific, hour-long first nap! Lucy, 22 minutes for the first nap. We'll get there!

 

Amy, we've had several 4:45 wake ups in the past few days and sure enough, I was praying like crazy! I don't think they are going to settle into a routine super quickly, but your advice definitely helps me think about how to deal with each of their waking up times. Its funny, I almost want them to wake up around 3:00 because that usually ends up working out the best as far as a routine for the rest of the day.