Waking every 2-4 hours

One of my twins is sleeping beautifully from 9pm-6/7am. The other one is having some issues. She is also put down at 9pm, but wakes at various times. I have just always nursed my babies when they wake during the night, but I am beginning to think this waking has nothing to do with hunger. Last night just before bedtime, I did add a feeding of baby food. I did this so I could know for certain they were going to bed with their tummies full. My good sleeper slept as normal, but the other one was up at 1am and 5am. When she wakes, it is not just whining, it is a screaming fit. When I get in her room, she is standing in her crib screaming like she is dying. Each time I allow her to scream for 5 minutes just in case she decides to lay back down, but she does not, so all I know to do is lay her down beside me, nurse her, then put her back in her crib where she sleeps great for another 2-4 hours. I guess I just don't know whether I should leave her in there to CIO. I know that last night, for example, she could not have been too hungry at 1am, but she was screaming so loud that I certainly could not sleep and I fear she is going to wake up everyone else in the house, so the easiest thing is just to nurse her back to sleep and end the torture quickly. But, I fear that is not the best choice as this will not really teach her to put herself back to sleep when she wakes.

So, I guess my questions is should I just ignore her at the 1 am waking? Should I force her to deal with it herself so she will hopefully learns to get herself to sleep when she wakes up?

 

I think it really depends on what you are comfortable with and what your "mommy instinct" is telling you. I will tell you that I have almost always nursed my twins when they wake up, and eventually they just quit waking up - but that didn't happen until about 11 months. And now we still about 50% of the time wake up at about 4-5ish, and I still nurse them and off to sleep they go again. I did CIO for going to bed and naps, but I couldn't bring myself to do it for night time (I know that tons of people have, and more power to you, I just couldn't).

The other option - what about your DH - can he go in instead of you so she learns she isn't getting nursed?

Good luck.

 

Hi, sorry you and your baby is having rough nights. My first thought would be teething or maybe a nightmare. have you tried walking around with her, singing to her. Maybe she just needs that soothing comfort. I hope something works for soon.

p.s your babies can stand on their own at 8 months? Mine are way behind

 

QUOTE(YooperMom @ Jul 18 2008, 11:21 AM) [snapback]883219[/snapback]
The other option - what about your DH - can he go in instead of you so she learns she isn't getting nursed?


I appreciate you trying to help me out, but DH works out of town. Even when he is home, it would be much easier to deal with a baby than try to wake him up. I could bring her to bed with us with her screaming and he would never heard. it.

 

QUOTE(Jentwinmom @ Jul 18 2008, 01:29 PM) [snapback]883468[/snapback]
I appreciate you trying to help me out, but DH works out of town. Even when he is home, it would be much easier to deal with a baby than try to wake him up. I could bring her to bed with us with her screaming and he would never heard. it.



Oh, well, that won't work then. I'm sorry. It's hard taking care of them by yourself and still being sleep deprived. I guess you have to go with your gut - since I didn't do CIO in the middle of the night, hopefully someone else will be able to answer your question better.

 

QUOTE(bday111707 @ Jul 18 2008, 11:28 AM) [snapback]883230[/snapback]
p.s your babies can stand on their own at 8 months? Mine are way behind


Just one of mine can stand. The other one is not even close. Don't think yours are behind. I just think Callie is a little ahead. She already makes attempts at walking, which really could be part of the overall nighttime problem, she is just developing so quickly.

 

This is something I think you need to go with your "gut" about. I might be inclined to let her scream for more than 5 minutes because she has learned that if she screams for 5 minutes you will come in. So maybe try and wait her out for a bit. If you cant, then go to her. Mine woke at least once if not twice at that age, had a bottle, and fell back to sleep. I too was worried that I was creating a habit but they gave it up on their own at about 9 months and started STTN.

Also, you might want to try an earlier bedtime if you can. Sleep begets sleep and maybe she is overstimulated and overtired and that is causing her sleep to be disruptive. You could move up bedtime in 15 min increments and see if that helps her. Do you put her down for bed awake or is she nursed to sleep? If she is nursed to sleep maybe work on naptime with getting her to learn to put herself to sleep and graduate to bedtime and then when she wakes at night maybe she can get herself back to sleep easier. Just some thoughts. Hang in there.

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ Jul 18 2008, 02:15 PM) [snapback]883543[/snapback]
This is something I think you need to go with your "gut" about. I might be inclined to let her scream for more than 5 minutes because she has learned that if she screams for 5 minutes you will come in. So maybe try and wait her out for a bit. If you cant, then go to her. Mine woke at least once if not twice at that age, had a bottle, and fell back to sleep. I too was worried that I was creating a habit but they gave it up on their own at about 9 months and started STTN.

Also, you might want to try an earlier bedtime if you can. Sleep begets sleep and maybe she is overstimulated and overtired and that is causing her sleep to be disruptive. You could move up bedtime in 15 min increments and see if that helps her. Do you put her down for bed awake or is she nursed to sleep? If she is nursed to sleep maybe work on naptime with getting her to learn to put herself to sleep and graduate to bedtime and then when she wakes at night maybe she can get herself back to sleep easier. Just some thoughts. Hang in there.


I have wondered about putting them to bed earlier, but I was afraid that would mean waking up earlier. They are already waking between 6 and 7. I certainly don't want it to be earlier than that. I may try it anyway.

Generally I put the to bed awake. Ever once in a while they will fall asleep while I am feeding them.

 

Is she able to go from standing in the rcib to sitting or laying down on hewr own? I've heard that some babies will stand up in the crib, but are unable to sit or lay down, so they get "stuck" standing and don't know what else to do but cry. Could this be possible? Of course, I'm sure if you went in and layed her back down she would probably just stand up again!

 

QUOTE(Mel G @ Jul 18 2008, 03:26 PM) [snapback]883674[/snapback]
Is she able to go from standing in the rcib to sitting or laying down on hewr own? I've heard that some babies will stand up in the crib, but are unable to sit or lay down, so they get "stuck" standing and don't know what else to do but cry. Could this be possible? Of course, I'm sure if you went in and layed her back down she would probably just stand up again!


You know, I had not heard of this until I read another post today, but you may be right. It is true that when she gets in a standing position, she sometimes yells for help when she is ready to get down. At this point, she does not know how to get down by herself. Maybe tonight when she does it I will try laying her down, but you are probably right, she will just stand right back up again. She is just so excited that she can stand up.

 

Well, weeks later here I am at 5am with a screaming baby. I put her down at 8, she was up at 1am, so I nursed her and put her back to bed. She has been awake for 30 minutes now. I went in a changed her diaper when she woke and made sure nothing was wrong and gently put her back down. She is screaming to the top of her lungs. This is EVERY NIGHT. Just any time now she is going to wake up the good sleeper. It is ridiculous. I have tried given her a lovely and she could care less. Tonight I tried soothing music as opposed to the normal fan. If I were to go up there now, she will be standing in her crib looking at the bedroom door screaming. I think I am going to get her, but her in a bouncy seat downstairs, then go to bed myself. I have 9 months of being sleep deprived and I can not take this any more. I have STTN myself less than 10 nights since they were born.......................................... So, I went up there, and it was exactly as I anticipated. I picked her up, cuddled her for a moment, and now she is in the bathroom with the fan going in her bouncy seat. That will at least secure me a good 45 minute nap before I have to get up to get the DS 6 to school and me to work. This is miserable.

 

You poor thing! I am with you in the your sleep-deprived misery. Mine are 6.5mnths long and still doing a dreamfeed and up 1-2x/night to eat.
I know when my babies wake up too early in the morning, I close my door and theirs and try to go back to sleep. And yes mine do scream a bit, but they are slowly learning that I will get them at 630am and not before! I can still hear them through both closed doors and with a pillow over my head, but I refuse to let them out of their crib until an acceptable time. I also put a lovey and one soft toy in each of their cribs, so that they have something to play with if they wake up too early. Some mornings there is crying and some mornings they are quiet until 630am.
Good Luck.

 

:hug99: I am so sorry. Isis has a good point and one that we did too. No matter what time they were waking which was about 5 am once I knew that they were no longer soaked in the morning (are you using overnight diapers??) I would just leave them until 5:30 and then gradually to 6am. Usually they were awake, but not screaming. I would just turn down the monitor and try and catch a quick cat nap before going to them.

 

OMG! I am in the same boat! We have the same bed times and one is content all night and Zachary is up anywhere from 2-4 times.. I am exhausted!

 

QUOTE(jasonsmommy @ Aug 12 2008, 08:03 AM) [snapback]925782[/snapback]
OMG! I am in the same boat! We have the same bed times and one is content all night and Zachary is up anywhere from 2-4 times.. I am exhausted!



Bless your heart. I want to cry for you because I know right where you are.

I am not glad this is happening to you, but it does make me feel better than I am not the only person having this issue. You would think when you treat 2 babies exactly the same, they would repsond the same, but they just don't.

I have the will power to let her cry, but we all sleep on the same level of the house, so that causes a big problem considering I have a 1st Grader, DH, and me that need sleep. Maybe I should just put her on the main level of the house and let the chips fall where they may during the night while I sleep. That sounds cruel, but it is also cruel for a mommy not to get a good night's rest month after month after month.

 

That sounds terrible! Mine have generally been good sleepers, making it through the night starting around 4 months. We'd have to go in to occasionally pop the pacifier back in or check a diaper, rarely to rock to sleep or give a bottle. From 6-8 months they hardly ever woke in the night. Then around 8 months Avery started having issues. She would throw a fit at bedtime, and only sleep about 2 hours before waking up and screaming her head off. At first we would go in and soothe her. She would cry to the point of hyperventilating so we would give in and pick her up. The problem was that we couldn't put her back down for at least an hour. We'd try a bottle and she would sometimes drink it. We'd try rocking but she wouldn't fall asleep. She just wanted to hang out with us. One night DH said he would get up with her and the next morning I found out he was up 3 hours before she would go back down in her crib. I thought that was rediculous and we could not continue with that kind of behavior. I decided right then that we needed to try CIO. DH was not on-board at first, but I convinced him that we had to do something and getting her up was not working. The first night she cried for 45 minutes on and off. The second night I think she cried for about 10. The third night she cried for less than 5. At first we would go in every 10 min or so to rub her back and let her know we were there, but it became obvious that it just made it worse, so as hard as it was, we would only go in to peak around the corner and make sure she wasn't stuck in the slats or anything. I would have turned the monitor off but DH wouldn't let me. Now she will occas wake up and she cries for a minute and then goes back to sleep.

I hope you find something that works for you! Good luck.

Jen

 

QUOTE(jjokitty @ Aug 12 2008, 07:45 PM) [snapback]927051[/snapback]
That sounds terrible! Mine have generally been good sleepers, making it through the night starting around 4 months. We'd have to go in to occasionally pop the pacifier back in or check a diaper, rarely to rock to sleep or give a bottle. From 6-8 months they hardly ever woke in the night. Then around 8 months Avery started having issues. She would throw a fit at bedtime, and only sleep about 2 hours before waking up and screaming her head off. At first we would go in and soothe her. She would cry to the point of hyperventilating so we would give in and pick her up. The problem was that we couldn't put her back down for at least an hour. We'd try a bottle and she would sometimes drink it. We'd try rocking but she wouldn't fall asleep. She just wanted to hang out with us. One night DH said he would get up with her and the next morning I found out he was up 3 hours before she would go back down in her crib. I thought that was rediculous and we could not continue with that kind of behavior. I decided right then that we needed to try CIO. DH was not on-board at first, but I convinced him that we had to do something and getting her up was not working. The first night she cried for 45 minutes on and off. The second night I think she cried for about 10. The third night she cried for less than 5. At first we would go in every 10 min or so to rub her back and let her know we were there, but it became obvious that it just made it worse, so as hard as it was, we would only go in to peak around the corner and make sure she wasn't stuck in the slats or anything. I would have turned the monitor off but DH wouldn't let me. Now she will occas wake up and she cries for a minute and then goes back to sleep.

I hope you find something that works for you! Good luck.

Jen


We do CIO to get to sleep every night and every night it is 30-45 minutes of screaming (just from her, the other one rarely cries). She sounds like your daughter in that it seems she just does not want to go to bed. A few minutes ago I stepped into her room to make sure she was still under the blanket because I thought it felt a little cool in the house. I gently put a blanket on her and there she came up. I picked her up but did not speak to her and just gently carried her around the room and within a minute, she was sound asleep again. Well, that lasted until the moment I put her down, so now we are doing CIO for the 2nd time tonight, which means I can not go to bed until she stops. My alarm will go off in 6 hours and she will be up another 1- 3 times in the meantime.

This just does not seem normal.

 

QUOTE(Jentwinmom @ Aug 12 2008, 09:45 PM) [snapback]927492[/snapback]
We do CIO to get to sleep every night and every night it is 30-45 minutes of screaming (just from her, the other one rarely cries). She sounds like your daughter in that it seems she just does not want to go to bed. A few minutes ago I stepped into her room to make sure she was still under the blanket because I thought it felt a little cool in the house. I gently put a blanket on her and there she came up. I picked her up but did not speak to her and just gently carried her around the room and within a minute, she was sound asleep again. Well, that lasted until the moment I put her down, so now we are doing CIO for the 2nd time tonight, which means I can not go to bed until she stops. My alarm will go off in 6 hours and she will be up another 1- 3 times in the meantime.

This just does not seem normal.


I think they need an earlier bedtime. Can you give us a complete run down of your schedule (wake, naps, etc).? I think you are going to need to do some tuff love (CIO), and I think you will ALL be happier in the end. And when you do the CIO don't do it until you are ready to not go in at all. No changing diapers, no feedings, no checking on them (unless asleep). From a fellow bfing, non-sleeping twins mommy I am more than happy to help you thru this, just PM me :hug99:

 

:cray: oh heavens. I just had one miserable night and I thought, maybe by Christmas it'll be better...sounds like there's a good chance it won't be.

hope you get it sorted out! (if you do, please post again, I could use some hope!)

 

QUOTE(excitedk @ Aug 13 2008, 12:04 AM) [snapback]927515[/snapback]
I think they need an earlier bedtime. Can you give us a complete run down of your schedule (wake, naps, etc).? I think you are going to need to do some tuff love (CIO), and I think you will ALL be happier in the end. And when you do the CIO don't do it until you are ready to not go in at all. No changing diapers, no feedings, no checking on them (unless asleep). From a fellow bfing, non-sleeping twins mommy I am more than happy to help you thru this, just PM me :hug99:



They used to have a 9:30 bed time, but over the last couple of months or so we have gradually moved it to 8:30. We will be working toward 8:15 next, then 8:00.

I really don't want them to have a bed time earlier than 8 because I don't get home from work until 5:30. I need to have at least a little bit of time with my babies before they go to bed.

 

Jen,
You and I are practically in the same boat. My twins are 6 months old. My good sleeper doesn't want to go to sleep until 2am (I think she feels like she will miss something) but when she is down she is down for the count. She will stand up in the crib and cry because she can't figure out how to get down. Then there's the other one. He can not stand yet, but he cries and cries and cries. He wakes up every 3 hours to eat. He's been like that since he was born. He just screams like he's being tortured and it's all because he is ready to eat. I will feed him 2 jars of food and a bottle and his stomach is full but 3 hours later it's gone back down and he's starving again. I recently went back to work and it's driving me crazy because I can't get any rest. My first son was the complete opposite of both. He started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks 2 days..I would put him down at 9pm and he slept until about 7am...perfect baby. These 2, are wearing me out.

katcar72
Christopher & Kimora
6 months