Waited too long?

I'm so tired of people telling me that I waited too long to get pg again. Granted these have been older (menopausal) women telling me, but the more I think about it, the better it seems. My fraternal twin boys are 8 yr old and if I were to have twins again at least they will be helpful and self sufficient to do a lot on their own. Right???

We are trying to make this decision to try again and I keep letting these comments distract me. Anybody else have a significant gap between ages? My brother & I are 6 yrs apart and my mom always said she kind of liked it b/c she had time w/each of us. I know there is a good chance of having twins again and I know I will, again, be crazy busy but I just feel like it will be ok. Any words of advice?

Tesha

 

My girls will be 5 when this baby is born. I too get the comments. I am glad there is a gap between children. I have had 5 years to spoil and enjoy time with just my twins. They will be starting kindergarten this year and then I will be able to just have time with the baby too. Everyone has their own comfort level as to how close they would like their children to be spaced apart. Some people like them close in age and some of us dont. Its nobodies business but your families. Try and let the comments just slide off your back.

 

No advice but my sister and I are 6 years apart and although we weren't super close growing up ( she was always the babysitter etc.) we are now! I say go for it!

Erica

 

QUOTE(2IrishBlessings @ Mar 25 2008, 07:26 PM) [snapback]687092[/snapback]
Everyone has their own comfort level as to how close they would like their children to be spaced apart. Some people like them close in age and some of us dont. Its nobodies business but your families. Try and let the comments just slide off your back.

I agree with Becca. I love the fact that all my children are close in age (all 4 will be within 3 years of each other). But I also know that some people would rather wait longer. If I were to have any more it wouldn't be until my youngest is at least 6+. You and your DH are the only ones that have right to an opinion on when/if you have more children.

 

My oldest was 7 when the twins were born and it was perfect gap. He was pretty self sufficient not to mention patient on most days!

 

When we were 5 mom had a stillborn. Then it took another 4 years for her to get pregnant again. So my brothers are 10 & 12 years younger than us. We were very close. Nothing wrong with age differences. It's none of anyone else's business when and IF you have more. :hug99: Try and let the comments bounce off of you.

 

My daughter is 11 years older than my twins. She is the greatest and so much help. But now my twins and this one will be 11 months apart. I think it will be great with a big age gap and a small one. Whatever works for you. BTW- when we were trying for the twins my friends all thought we were crazy because it's starting over. They supported us just wouldn't do it themselves. It's been great. If it's twins again you've experienced it once and know what to expect and will have two wonderful little helpers.

 

I have a huge gap. My DS is going to be 13 shortly after the twins are born and my DD will be 15. Hope that helps. Don't let other people determine what is right for you. If you want more kids then have them, it is your life not theirs. Good luck.

Jen

 

Thanks ladies for all the words of encouragement. I know it's not their decision and we're the ones who have to live w/it but it makes me question myself. I know I'm going to be "starting over , but I look at it like I'm older now, I have more patience now, I know what to expect in general and I want to do it again!

Some people just don't ever get that feeling again. I actually thought I would never want another and I didn't until about a year ago. I had an age limit set for myself to be done by the time I was 30. Well, on my 30th b-day I cried b/c I felt like I had to be done. Then for the past two yrs I have extended the age limit! I will be 33 this summer and I now I'm ready to do it.

I work part time (4 hr) in a school lunch room now (1st job in 5 yrs) and we're trying to plan the pregnancy so I'll deliver next summer, so I can be off for summer then return to work in Fall. That's a little scary for me. IF I have twins again, I will not be returning to work b/c Grandma can't handle twins again. When I had the twins 8 yrs ago, I went back to work for 1-1/2 yrs. It was hard. I worked 8+ hr/day and I felt like a part time mom. I hated it. So I quit and stayed home w/them. Best decision I have ever made! Financially it was tough, but we made it. Now we own our house and financially it might be hard again, but DH says, we made it before, we will make it again!

Any financial advice out there? I sold Pampered Chef for 4 yrs when I was home before, but I'm done with that now. Anybody make their own baby food? I really want to check that out.

Thanks Again Everybody!
Tesha

 

My girls will be 6 turning 7 just 2 months after the baby is born. I am looking forward to having two little helpers. Plus, at this age they understand a little why Mommy has to be with the baby a bit more.

 

My DS will turn 10 on April 6th and my scheduled c-section for the twins in May 2nd. AND my sister is 9 ½ years older then i… and growing up she was more like a fun aunt… but now we are really close … I will be honest, the twins were conceived on BC and I had a moment or 2 when I have thought… man he was off to college in eight years and now I will have 2 eight year olds instead of being on a beach in Jamaica… but DS is VERY excited and I am also very glad he will have siblings, even if they aren’t close until they are adults…

 

My mom had 2 children when she was very young, then 8 years after her second son she had me and then 4 years onwards my sister and then 10 years after me, just shy of 40, she gave birth to our baby... so our age gaps are 2 years, then 8 years, then 4 years and then 6 years, when the smallest one was born we were 20, 18, 10 and 6 plus the newborn. My mom says her last pregnancy and baby time was the easiest, because she had tons of helpers (plus helper girlfriends etc...).
Personally I would not space mine out that much (and my mom didn't plan it, but it happened), but it works. I am close to my 2 older brothers, fairly close to my sis and extremely close to my youngest brother. I am not a back to back person and didn't want mine to be too close (sort of 3 to 4 years between them, and I wanted to have 3). I would not want a second oe if the first one is still in diapers.
However I was given twins, so the spacing didn't quite work, but the age gap between my boys and Ella is alright (3 years 9 months), but personally (if it wasn't because of my age and circumstances) I would have liked to wait till they were 6 and went to school.
Ollie for example does excellently with Ella, he understood where she was, he understands her needs as a baby (although of course he dislikes it that now she is into everything because she is very mobile), he helps, and brinsg diapers and can even be trusted to watch her for short periods of time (for a toilet break).
Alex on the other hand reacted with terrible jealousy and that was what I was afraid of if I spaced them out. He feels like his crown was taken from him, and he made it very clear from the beginning that he didn't like the baby. He will also hurt her when he can... so I think for a child like Alex being youger (when he ould not inflict pain knowingly) or older (when he was not so keen on being mommy's baby anymore) would have been better.

However, this is YOUR family and they are YOUR kids, and you decide. I think 5 years and upwards sounds like a much nicer age gap than my step boys who are 14 months apart and where like twins, only at different developmental stages, which I personally would hate!
Millie