Very negative daughter

Does anyone else have one? She's seriously draining the life out of me at times.
 
Example, today we all went out for lunch then went out for a walk (a nice trail in the woods), basically we walked 1 mile before she started crying and whining that she wanted to go home. We made the mistake of walking half a mile longer, and she was wailing the whole way back... then again in the car, until she fell asleep. It happens all the time. She's never happy. We can do something fun, like go see a movie, heck even go to Six Flags, and when we ask her if she had fun, she always says no. She never seems excited about anything except food and playdates with her friends (which obviously lead to a morning of wailing and crying before it's time to go).
 
I'm emotionally drained. I'm just dreading Summer break... again. Her brother complains a bit too but it's nowhere near as bad, and he doesn't get overly upset about things like she does. I mean, it's very rare that a 'family fun day' doesn't end in tears for reason x or y... Basically if we don't do what she wants to do, she'll just cry and whine the whole time (yesterday I had 3 hours with her and she didn't complain once but we pretty much did what she wanted the whole time).
 
How do you deal with it? I'm all for asking her what she wants to do... sometimes. But there are four of us...

 

I don't think my 8 year old dd can walk a mile without getting tired.  She has some medical issues, but a mile is a long ways.  I guess it depends on how much time it takes.. how slow/fast you are walking.  Sorry she doesn't seem to have much fun.  Is she being hurried?  Are the activities things that she has suggested she might like?  It just sounds like she is tired.

 

Fran, I have a daughter who if she had her way, we'd only do what she wanted to do.  However, she doesn't complain if we don't do the things she wants to do.
My suggestion, and you've probably already have tried this, is when you do something as family talk to her beforehand and say "We are doing a family outing, that means we all will get to pick something to do and even if we don't like what the other family member wants to do, we still have to do it to be fair."  Maybe try a smaller family outing at first and see how she does.  It's tough when you plan something great and everyone has fun except for one of the children :hug:

 

Not the same but similar - last night I was going through the list of summer camps available and DD2 just kept saying 'No' in a very dismissive voice before I had even read the descriptions.  After a few 'Nos' I said "I'll just put you down as No for everything" then concentrated on DD1.  Of course DD2 then became very interested and I told her I was asking DD1 since she said No to everything already. After a few huffy breaths she was quiet and I started letting her back into the conversation gradually.  Everything ended well.  
 
If your DD always says she didn't enjoy the activity and didn't have any fun, then I'd stop asking her.  You can tell whether she enjoyed herself or not and, really, what does it matter?  The family already went to the movie or the walk or to Six Flags regardless of whether she had fun or not.  Asking if she wants to participate before the event is different, but sometimes she does not get to decide that either.
 
In the case of a hike, I'd try to give her something else to think about like spotting birds or giving her a walking stick to use/play with or some trail mix to nibble on.  Maybe an incentive like whoever makes it through the hike deserves a _____ when we get home.  I think you were right to continue the walk/hike a little further after she started complaining.  Turning back right away would reinforce the idea that she can get what she wants by complaining.

 

I have one that I do not ever ask if he had fun.  He always says no even though it is clear he had a blast.  He just knows it pushes my buttons. 
 
For hiking I suggest a treasure hunt, snacks and water.  We do a ton of hiking and I will do a treasure hunt as something different sometimes.  Just a list of things to collect like pine cone, pretty rock, see a red bird. I've also done a picture walk with other kids.  I let them take pictures of whatever they want or use pictures as part of the hunt.  You can get a cheap disposble camera and use a coupon to get pictures printed. 

 

dd is very moody, always was difficult.
and since a year she was diagnosed ptss after the divorce....(we have therapy)
She can get mad, throw things. and talks back
 
The best is to ignore!, how hard that is.
Dont ask her butt tel her. Don't give options
I try to act careless when she starts, look bored.
 
It's very hard, butt try not to react to her negativity
Is she like this at school?
 
I get sarcastic butt that's not good to
 
As for walks.....we take camera's with us
Do photo shoots with stuffed animals they bring along