very fearful

I have only been posting and lurking here for a week, and it has been quite the eye opener for me. It seems like a lot of scary things happen early on, say after the 20th wk.

I broke down and just bawled after reading some of the post here today. It just seems so scary. I have waited four years for this, and kept telling myself that everything would be ok after the first trimester was over. Now, I feel more scared than before. I just want to bring these two little ones home healthy. I feel like I have been through so much with the infertility problem.

Any advice??

April

 

First of all a big . I'm sorry you are freaked out BUT you will be okay! Many of the things that happen are TOTALLY out of your control. Focus on what you CAN control like drinking plenty of water, eating plenty of protein, resting as much as possible, etc. Express your concern to your doc, let him/her know that you are worried about all the "what ifs". Then, if you feel off about something, just call and ask. Sometimes all it takes is someone with knowledge to reassure you that what you are feeling is normal. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you have come this far through your journey. Take it one day at a time. You'll be okay!

 

HI APril,
The advice from everyone on here is wonderful - but if you feel more fearful after reading things on here - stop reading. Or just post specific questions you have - it's not meant to scare anyone, though. Your best advice should come from your doctor and if he/she tells you you are fine - then just be excited for yourself and your little ones. My husband and I had infertility issues as well and it took usa long time to get pregnant - now's the time to enjoy it. If you're taking care of yourself - that's the most important thing and that's all you can do. A positive attitude will go a long way.
Aimee

 

I agree with PP...don't look into all the posts like it means all this will definately happen to you. Many use the forum to reach out and see who else is going through certain symptoms and some just need someone to vent to when they're tired of always doing on DH! There are many pregnancies that are uneventful and carry to term no problem. If you read the posts, you will notice that the problems are usually identified and taken care of as well. I think it is a wonderful resource to gauge what you are going through and prepare yourself for bumps in the road. Lord knows I have needed these ladies more than one time for a hug, someone to vent to, or someone to point me towards a resource to get help!!!

 

I feel you, and agree completely with previous posters. There ARE lots of complications that can happen,and when i first learned that my twns were mono/di, i freaked myself out by reading WAY too much about what MIGHT happen; then after a few days i realized that i couldn't control ANY of it, and needed to focus on what was in my control.

So - definitely eat lots of protein and drink more water than you think you need (it IS important to know that dehydration is a serious risk for pre-term labor - but an easy one to address)

And - try to enjoy this: especially after such a long and emotional journey, try to revel in every change in your body, be proud of your bump, get excited when you feel them kicking, and send great, positive vibes to the new miraculous lives that YOUR body is making!

 

Sorry to hear we are making you fearful. I agree with concentrating on what you can control during the pregnancy. I would look at the posts as an educational tool. Soo many things can happen during a pregnancy that I had no idea about until I joined TS. Thankfully from my reading I was able to recognize things that were happening with my body and knew what the best course of action was. I also agree that if reading is going to cause undue stress then it would be best to stop reading. Pregnancy is a time you should be able to enjoy (although I am convinced that some worrying is inevitable) and if there are things (such as websites) that are causing you stress then they should be avoided, stress is not good for you or the babies!

 

Thanks everyone for your advice. I do have to admit that this has been very educational for me at the same time. My midwife made it sound like that this twin pregnancy was going to be a piece of cake beside being at risk for gestational diabetes and high b/p. Now I know what to expect, and I am going to talk to them about my concerns about them monitoring me. To me, their "close monitoring" is way too late (28wks). I feel that it should be at 20wks. I am pretty much going to tell them that I want to be monitored more closely after 20wks, or I change docs. I really want to stay with them, but I want to make sure these babies are being checked regularly. So, I will see what she says in 2wks.

Thanks!

April

 

Im sorry we have made your scared. Its important to remember that the majority of complications you will read about are rare, alot of people find forums like these once they have been diagnosed with something and are looking for advice.
Take me for example, I have one of those scary historys and sometimes the info i pass along may seem scary to others but its important to watch for symptoms and know what could possibly happen, that way if it does happen you are prepared and know how to handle it.
I do think it is good to have monitering early on, just to be on the safe side, you need to have doctors that will care for you in a way that you are comfortable with

 

April- it's up to you if you want to change docs - ask lots of posters how often they're seen. I've been seen every 2 weeks since 18 weeks - that may be a lot - but I really like it - they check the babies every time and it always makes me feel better. Maybe post a question (or do a search - I think people have posted about that before) on how frequently people are seeing their docs/midwives.

Take care,
Aimee

 

its ok I think most of us are scared Sh**less!!! I just keep reminding myself, that what will be will be. Most of it is out of our control, so if we eat well, drink lots, and get PLENTY of rest, we are doing all we can. Always discuss your concerns with your doc, and they will guide you. If a problem arises, deal with it then. One day at a time!!!