VENT !!!!

Ok here's my vent....

My wife has had a pretty rough preg. I'm sure there have been rougher but you know what, to be a first pregnancy, twins and have hyperemesis. It's been rough. She's been in and out of hospital, on zofran for 8 months, and out of work.

I have the best family support EVER! hers and mine, whenevr we need something they are there, but I have felt it's my place to be there by her side through this!

Ok here's the RANT... I hate my BOSS! Beth is have a C-Section, and he acts surprised that i wanted to take 1 week off. (UNPAID) He doesn't know that there is anyone else to help, cause i actually want to be there for the first few days and keeps bring up the fact that with the birth of his children he was out a day and a day and a half. SO?

he acts surprsed sometimes when i have to take her to the DR and other times, he's like "go do what you need to do, take care of business, faily comes first" If i did'nt have 2 children to think about, i'd walk out!

Ok rant over! We go to the DR today too. Hopefully today will be the day. We beg her every day !!!!!!!!!!

LOL.

 

Ok here's my vent....

My wife has had a pretty rough preg. I'm sure there have been rougher but you know what, to be a first pregnancy, twins and have hyperemesis. It's been rough. She's been in and out of hospital, on zofran for 8 months, and out of work.

I have the best family support EVER! hers and mine, whenevr we need something they are there, but I have felt it's my place to be there by her side through this!

Ok here's the RANT... I hate my BOSS! Beth is have a C-Section, and he acts surprised that i wanted to take 1 week off. (UNPAID) He doesn't know that there is anyone else to help, cause i actually want to be there for the first few days and keeps bring up the fact that with the birth of his children he was out a day and a day and a half. SO?

he acts surprsed sometimes when i have to take her to the DR and other times, he's like "go do what you need to do, take care of business, faily comes first" If i did'nt have 2 children to think about, i'd walk out!

Ok rant over! We go to the DR today too. Hopefully today will be the day. We beg her every day !!!!!!!!!!

LOL.

 

I think it is wonderful you want to be there for her.

I know all about bosses not getting it. Dhs command wouldnt let him take his paternity leave until I was out of the hospital and it had to be while the girls were in the NICU. For one I had alot of complications after this section and really needed someone there to help me get down to the NICU and two I really needed him home when the girls came home, not while they were in teh NICU.

SOme people are just clueless

 

I pretty sure that FMLA allows you to take up to 12 weeks off for the birth. Just stick to your guns and take the time off. It will be something that you will really appreciate in the future. Having my husband with me during those first few weeks was the most wonderful experience.

 

I think it is so wonderful that you are completely in tune with your wife's needs and condition (read other vents - carrying two is NOT THE SAME as carrying one!)

Defintiely look into the FMLA thing. I'm taking it. My husband is taking about 2 weeks off, using vacation. No one should make you feel guilty for wanting to be there to help - your boss sounds like a jerk! Wish I had better advice - but definitely look into your company's policies on leave, paternity leave...etc. Know your rights becasue you certainly have them and deserve them. I wish you and your wife and the babies and the other kids the best!

 

So sorry to hear your boss is not being accommodating - I agree - stick to your guns though - you'll never this time back!

Hope today goes well - keep us posted!

 

Stick to your plan. She is not going to be able to do anything for herself and it will give you some good bonding time with the twins. My husband took 2 weeks when the twins were born.

FMLA only applies to those companies with 50 or more employees, I think. Hopefully it applies to yours.

Good Luck today!

 

stand strong, you wont regret it, those first few weeks are such an important bonding time. With my singleton my husband took 2 weeks off, this time he is going to take 3. It is so helpful to have your "rock" home with you.

 

I agree with the others...just do it!!!! (That is, as long as there are no long-term reprecussions.) I could not have survived without my husband. Even though we had family around to help, I just wanted to be around my husband and bond with our new family. It was his company I enjoyed the most, not necessarily his help (although I didn't mind that either! )

 

Your boss is a jerk!!! 1 week is NOT to much to ask!!!
your wife needs you!!! and w/ the c-section she will be in the hospital for at least 4 days!! Just do it!! this is a time in your life that you can never get back!!

 

How big is your company? Can you go over his head and talk to HR? I'd be mad as can be if someone were this stinky over something so obviously needed. Maybe you could have bumped into the bosses wife at the Christmas party and ratted him out!

Maybe he'll move on....

Good luck, sounds like you two are gonna have babies soon!!
Merijo

 

Go with YOUR original plan....there is no way your wife will be able to do it all on her own even if she thinks she can. I would let your boss know that your require a reasonable amount of time off, and if he doesn't like it, it would be more difficult for him to replace you. I don't know what you do, or where you live but there are always plenty of jobs in the newspapers....look for something else...with the employment in our area, company's will do ANYTHING to keep you.

Wish you all the best!!

ps,...I would ask the boss to pull the candy cane out of his a**....christmas is over, back to reality.

Sorry, people like that tick me off...

Juli

 

Just some more support to tell you what a great husband and partner you are being - and will obviously be a great dad!

You are completely entitled to vent, and your boss is clearly a jerk. Agree w/the other posters: you do what's right for your family; at the end of the day, this is a one-shot deal.

I wonder if your boss is concerned about work not getting done, or if he has some other bug (or candy cane!) up his rear? is there a way you might address that? In any case, you ARE entitled to the time and, um, you know, people actually get SICK sometimes - and that just might coincide w/the birth of your babies.

Anyway, good luck and hope you find the support you need!

 

unfortunatley, i work for a small company, actually i work for the largest insurance agency in the south east, by sales volume, but because my boss is the owner there is no one over his head, and there is a total of 12 or 13 employees total! so FMLA does not apply. The bad thing is, as an agent, your income is directly dependant on how long you sell insurance for in an agency due to the fact that you collect commissions on policies everytime that they renew. I can not afford to loose my job, and have to start all over again.

Thanks for all of the support though. half of me wonders if i'm being crazy and expecting something rediculous!?!?! the other half is just wondering if im just excited.

 

I'm sorry to hear that your boss is not supportive - however you need to make sure your wife has help while recovering from her c-section. I'll be a week post-op tomorrow and each day is better...but if i walk too much or do too much, the incision BURNS....Also, we only have one baby home right now - you guys are likely to have both home...so she will really need your help.

Is working from home an option?

Good luck!
Miriam

 

It almost seems like this kind of thing is somewhat cultural (in that people just expect certain things to be a certain way). I HATE American culture sometimes!! I didn't read all the other posts, but I hope you're able to take off for a week. You are a great husband and father for wanting to be there for your family! My DH comes to every single one of my appointments (his job is flexible in that he can work evenings if he needs to). Hope you get to meet your little boys soon!