vent-wishing everyone could be pregnant w/twins or more

Hi all,
I usually am just a lurker here on the board. I am really glad to have found this place just to read about other people who are in similar situations.

Here is my New Year's wish - that everyone could at some point in their life be pregnant with twins or more. I have to say, this is much harder than I expected. When I speak to people, even in my family, I feel like they think that I am making up all the aches and pains that I am feeling. And that I really should not be feeling the way I do and that I am just "milking" this pregnancy.

I am 26 wks and feel like I have been hit by a truck.

Thanks for letting me vent and if anyone has any insight on how to make other people understand what we are going through, that would be great.

Happy New Year!
Katie

 

Hi all,
I usually am just a lurker here on the board. I am really glad to have found this place just to read about other people who are in similar situations.

Here is my New Year's wish - that everyone could at some point in their life be pregnant with twins or more. I have to say, this is much harder than I expected. When I speak to people, even in my family, I feel like they think that I am making up all the aches and pains that I am feeling. And that I really should not be feeling the way I do and that I am just "milking" this pregnancy.

I am 26 wks and feel like I have been hit by a truck.

Thanks for letting me vent and if anyone has any insight on how to make other people understand what we are going through, that would be great.

Happy New Year!
Katie

 

I know exactly what you mean!!!!! I have been having so many aches and pains...and I am tired ALL THE TIME. I feel like a big baby when I complain about it too because I am only 25 weeks. I have so much farther to go (hopefully). I have only gained 10lbs and my back is already killing me. I don't really understand it. Maybe because it is all in my belly? I just feel like a wuss sometimes and it is good to know that I am not the only one that feels this way!!!!

Thanks!!!!!!

 

Hey don't fret at sounding miserable. Your body is taking care of two precious darlings and is working very hard. I had my little girls almost four years ago and the one thing I remember about that pregnancy was feeling exhausted constantly. You compare it to being "hit by a truck", I always said I felt like I was dropped out of a airplane. No one really knows how you are feeling. Try not to let others remarks get to you. Come here and vent and get support. We believe you!

Rose

 

Many people just don't understand the additional strain of carrying 2 or more babies. The lack of understanding often can lead to inconsiderate behavior. Unfortunately there is really nothing you can do other than ignoring them. Try not to let it get to you. You are always welcome to come vent to us who have been there done that! Hang in there.

 

Funny, I have been having the opposite problem. Everyone thinks I should feel worse so they totally baby me. I am 30wks and 3days and still working and the only reason I want to stop now is so my boss will hire someone else and the other girls will stop bending over backwards. I love the help don't get me wrong but I have always been very independent and proud so...... To top it, Fil won't let me clean at home very much and I am a very picky cleaner.

Seems that people are always one extreme or the other

 

Yup! Some days are better than others and even though overall I'm feeling pretty good - it's probably because I'm not allowed to do anything and am on my fifth week of bed rest!!! UGH!!!

Thinking of you and hoping people begin to understand!!!

 

I feel your pain...my family keeps telling me "you think this is rough, just wait until the end" I tell them I know its only going to get worse but that this is a totally different ballgame then my singleton was butthey doesn't seem to get it.

 

I agree with the OP I wish for new years that everyone could be pregnant with twins too! I'll admit I was soooo nieve about multiples pregnancies! and I absolutely never thought I'd experience one! lol!! I always thought, "yeah it must be rough cuz you're bigger at the end." didn't even occur to me that there are 2 in there sucking the life out of you the whole time! lol!! it's totally different with multiples than with singletons, and I didn't particularly enjoy my singleton pregnancies (hated them in fact, I'm not a good pregnant person). luckily DH tries to be understanding, and who cares what everyone else thinks! but I am tired of hearing "you're almost done" cuz it doesn't feel like I'm almost done. possibly another 7 weeks of this feels like an eternity!!! and people just laugh when they ask how much longer i have and I tell them the rest of my life. then the expect a serious answer. they don't get it!! that was my serious answer!

so, I'm right there with ya! I'm sorry that people are the way they are and just don't understand. I guess it's just human nature. but that doesn't make it any less annoying. hang in there. we're really close to each other's due dates. can't wait to hear your birth story. and I hope what I hear is true... that it's all worth it.

Michelle

 

If it makes you feel any better, I thought I had hit the "wall" at about 27 weeks, but I felt better after several days. Feeling that way again right now

I've been on mostly bedrest since Oct,so I don't get out much,but when I do, I get nothing but pity..I think thats the advantage of being short and petite. I could see how taller mommies might not get the concern they deserve cause its not quite as obvious what you're going through. Hmm...did that make sense?

Hugs,you can do it! No matter what people say/think...just worry about taking care of yourself!

 

I have to agree with all of you. I get the two extremes from people. Either they refuse to let me do anything and baby me, or they don't understand why I have to gain so much weight, go to so many u/s, and feel so tired and out of breathe all the time. Some people don't understand why I keep saying that the babies will prob. come before their due date. They want me to optimistic, which I am. However, I feel like I need to be realistic too. Its all very frustrating.

 

Awww, I am sorry to hear that. How rude of all these people. I was very fortunate, friends and family treated me like I was practically an invalid and couldn't do enough to help me. Good luck and hang in there!

 

I know, I feel tired most of the time too. But, when I start feeling really sorry for myself, I think of my husbands grandmother who is still alive at 97!! She had a 2 yr old little boy and then gave birth to ID twin girls. She did not even know she was having multiples until she gave birth. The real kicker is this...she was doing this in the middle of world war two in German occupied Belgium. I think there was a Geman camp in the park across the street from their home. Oh my! Can you even imagine the stress?? I know she did not have prenatal vitamins, probably had fairly poor nutrition, and her husband was not the helpful or caring type.

I know, it does not ease our aches and pains or help us sleep better at night, but I just remember that she survived it and is a strong woman that her grandchildren and greatgrandchildren love and admire. Hopefully, we'll have families like that someday too.

Merijo

 

I am at the end and I have had a great pregnancy!! and I still feel
like I have been hit by a truck, dragged and thrown from a plane!!
but I would not trade it for thw world!!! I am having my girls tomorrow and it will all be SO worth it!!!!

 

quote:
am 26 wks and feel like I have been hit by a truck


Oh boy, do I feel your pain!! The last week, I have noticed a definite shift in how I feel. I never got super uncomfortable with my daughter's pregnancy, this is so different. People are like "Well, you are carrying double!" or some other flippant remark, but I don't think they actually get how that really feels. How could they if they havent' been thru it? I know I had no idea it would be this hard and it hasn't even gotten that hard yet. It's nice to know I'm not alone!

 

I am right there with you also. I am 26 (although I still think 27) weeks and I feel your pain. I had such wonderful singleton pregnancies, with hardly a complaint. The last few weeks of this one though, I feel like an invalid. I still do a lot (probably way too much), but everyday tasks are getting harder and harder, and I hate complaining and asking for help... (Chasing around a very active 10 month old and a 2.4 year old doesn't help either...) I do feel like most others just do not get it. I have a few friends at church (of various ages/stages)who are twin mommies, and it is so comforting to see them every now and then because I know they do get it.

I am so anxious about the next 10+ weeks... just how bad is it going to get?

Thanks for being a venting board. I know I am blessed beyond reason and wouldn't trade it for the world, but its nice to have people who understand.

Caleb 6/30/04
Aidan 2/22/06

 

YES! I hear ya! I had a singleton before my twins, and the twin pregnancy was definitely harder. I got bigger faster, so I got aches and pains earlier. PLus, being on bed rest and PTL, on top of taking care of my DD.

 

Katie - I TOTALLY get where you are coming from. I have had a rough pregnancy myself with all aches and pains. I have laid in bed crying from the pain on a couple of occassions. I was totally unprepared for this experience and it has been much harder than I ever expected. I am only 21 weeks and I can't believe that I still have soo far to go and that it will get even harder! Feeling hit by a truck is a good way to describe this experience. I'm glad you posted. In regards to letting people know how you are feeling, I enjoy sharing the wierd symptoms I've had...it does not really describe the physical pain, but the wierder the symptom the more likely they are to get something. For example, last week I had vision issues from the high level of estrogen making my brain swell and then pushing on my optic nerve. (I got checked out...everything is ok). *that* is a good one I've found. Brain issues freak people out So I've been throwing that out all week - I'm sure you have had some exceptional symptoms you can use. Other than that I also tell people two things that MDs have told me about gestating twins 1) When pregnant with twins you are at 70% of your resting heart rate while resting. That is like a moderate aerobc workout just laying in bed. 2) Every extra baby is exponentail on your body. So 2 babies is at leat 4 times as hard as a singleton.

Hope this helps at all. At least know that we get you and support you here on these boards.

Shellie

 

You are not alone - come and vent anytime. It IS exhausting; all that extra blood that your heart has to pump at ALL times (even when resting), the little parasites are sucking everything from your body and bones, the unrelenting exhaustion.....people have no idea. So you just have to take care of yourself, and never feel like you're being a baby or indulgent: good self care is the best thing you can do for your babies. (sorry if i sound preachy! - i just get upset when all these people who have never been in the situation think they know what it's like!

 

I can relate to how you feel. I hurt all over. I even hurt when I'm laying in bed. People who haven't carried twins don't know what it's like. I get a little irritated when people who have had singletons try to explain that they understand and they've been there. I don't think so. Being run over by a truck is a good comparison. We just have to hang in there because it's going to be so worth every ache and pain we felt.
Melanie( 26 weeks).

 

So true, so true! I've been pg with a singleton and this pg is so much harder! I was mowing my yard the week my DD was due. I have been lucky in that I feel good most of the time, but I am exhausted by the time my DD takes a nap and by bedtime. However, I can't sleep because my legs feel tingly or numb and my back and hips ache like never before! Plus I think I'm already as big as when I delivered my DD and I can't imagine how much bigger I can get. Sometimes I just start crying when I look at myself in the mirror. I think my DH and parents understand how different this pg is, but most other people act like this pg isn't any different than a singleton. They also look at me oddly when I tell them my due date, but we're expecting them earlier.

 

take it for what it is worth, and try to enjoy every second. Ya it's hard, but it's the most amazing experience you will ever have and be happy knowing not everyone gets to experience this.
I say milk it all the way to the bank- who cares, you deserve to.
I just had a singleton ( a big 10'10'er) and it was just another pregnancy to everyone around me- I so missed the twin card! hahaha

Really, don't worry about things people say or do, just try to relax, enjoy and make special memories of your beautiful big belly- and take lots of pictures. You will be shocked when you look back and see how huge you were.

good luck & happy 2007!!!!

my girlies.....
Drew Dakota & Shae Leighanne Nov 24/03
our new rugby player, Stone Jackson October 24?06

 

THank you thank you thank you for this post! It's so true, though. I tell my DH or OB what I'm going through and they ask if I'm depressed. I tell two ladies who work in my building (both have had twins or their kids have had twins and are also short) how I'm feeling and they GET the "beached whale" jokes! They understand the concept of twins coming out early, of feeling like you're in a losing battle with Mike Tyson even when you lie down, and that the biggest deal is keeping them baking!

I can't tell you how many times I feel like I'm trying to reinvent the wheel. I think turning the "half-way" point has made everything more intense for me.

It is such a relief to have this board,