Vent - feeling out of sync with my babies

Before I went back to work I spent so much time with the babies that I really feel like I knew them, their cries, what they wanted, etc... Now, with the nanny with them Mon. - Thurs. 9am -3pm I feel so out of sync with them. I am fortunate to work from home so I can still spend some time with them; however, I just get so confused. I look at the log book we keep after she has left and I cannot figure anything out. Jack is now taking these 3 hour morning naps and Lily long afternoon naps and they used to both be so in sync with eachother. They don't finish their bottles or take forever to finish them so it is hard to tell whether they are hungry or tired, etc...2 ounces here, 30 minute nap there.... They are going to be 2 months soon and I am hoping that this is normal right now.

I used to feel like I knew what they wanted and now I don't at all. The nanny is great and it is not just because she can't get them on a schedule...they did it to me at their 7:30feeding this morning. Jack took 3 ounces of his 6 ounce bottle and fell asleep for an hour. Lily would only drink an ounce at a time of her four ounce bottle and was falling asleep in between. Then Jack woke up at 8:45 starving and finished his bottle and I would have usually known that they would eat again around 10:30 but now I don't know what they want because they are all over the place. Jack is still sleeping.... and it is 10:15. Should I have her wake him up to feed him when Lily eats? It seems pretty pointless as he will just take part of the bottle and fall asleep in the middle.

Perhaps I should just be glad they are eating, sleeping, and safe and be done with it. The thing is, it helps me to know what they want when they are fussing/screaming, if they are on some sort of a schedule.


Thanks for listening!

 

Hi Amy - That's a bummer, but it's great that you have a nanny you like. However, if the nanny is not doing things how you want them done (i.e. kids napping and eating at the same time), then you should definetly say something. I hate it when my kids schedules aren't in sync, so I will always wake one (except overnight) when it's time to feed. We are on a 3 hour eating schedule.

This is the first week where I have felt we've really fallen into some sort of pattern/schedule, and my husband feels much like you do - out of the loop. Consistency is key, and it will pay off as the months go by, so I would try to talk to the nanny and get on the same page so you are both approaching things the same.

Good Luck!

 

When I got my nanny I was on maternity leave at the time. This way, we both worked out a schedule for the girls to be on. Getting them in sync was hard at first, but soon it worked out. I have had another nanny since then, and showed/talked with her about their schedules and explained how close to in sync schedules that I want them to be on. She understood and everything has worked out since then. The girls are still on the same schedule on weekends too, but with a little more flexibility. In essence, just talk it over with your nanny and explain your feelings and what you expect from her.

 

Question...are you feeding them (or trying to) on a certain schedule, or on demand? It kind of sounds like you are trying to keep to a certain feeding schedule, and about 3-3.5 months for my girls, we ended up moving to on demand because we were running into the same thing you are. On demand, after about a month, got them sleeping through the night. Keep in mind that mine were 9 weeks early, so your on demand move could definitely come sooner than ours did.

At first on demand is hard because you feel like you are always feeding them during the day. But the sleeping through the night is a great reward for that, and eventually they take in more volume per feeding and the feedings space out.

 

Amy, I think that it is really important for you and the nanny to get on a normal feeding schedule with them. If they wake everyday at 7, feed them at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, etc. And try not to deviate from it at all. That is the only piece of sanity I had left when they were that age! :hug99:

 

Amy, I agree with Becky. It's pretty essential for you and your nanny to come up with a schedule and stick with it. I think she will find it easier herself if she has them on the schedule. I mean, who wants to be doing things twice at different times of the day? It would be like running in circles.

I hope you can get on the page. :hug99: If anything, for your peace of mind.

 

I will ditto was Sarah and Becky said. We always kept feedings on a strict schedule and everything else fell into place. If one woke, the other was woken to eat that way they stayed on shedule together. I agree with Becky, it really was a sanity saver for me in those early months filled with chaos.