Vasectomy Question

This will be my last pregnancy. While I feel so blessed to be having twins and wouldn't change a thing, It's been a really rough road this time with the preterm labor/ bedrest. My mom has basically lived with me to help with my home/kids for the past 10 weeks and I know it is wearing her out. I can't ask her to do this again even though she would without question I can't imagine going through another high risk pregnancy and possibly being pg on bedrest with 4 kids at home, so dh will be having a vasectomy. So, here is what I am wondering. Do you think he should have it done now or after the babies come? I kind of hesitate to say now because things have been so touch and go that I worry what if I went into labor the same day he had it done or something? I kind of hate to wait because I need him to be able to help out as much as possible when they come and I don't want him to put off the vasectomy until later. The recovery is pretty quick and it's not very invasive to have done anymore. Anyone else having this same decision or has anyone been through it already and have advice?

 

Honestly, I think it's best to wait until after they are born. In fact, I think it's best to wait until they are at least a year old. I feel really strongly that you should at least wait until you are out of the post-partum phase. The last thing you need to deal with are the hormones of pp and bf AND the emotions of the "official" decision. And like you said, things have been somewhat uncertain for you. At this point I wouldn't be doom and gloom about your babies, I'm sure they'll be fine...but what if the unthinkable happened.... I've even felt that way over women on their last singleton with an uncomplicated pg. I had a friend whose dh got it done in her third trimester of her fourth baby. And even though her pgs were all very easy and her babies were fine, I still felt like what if the worst happened and they really regretted making the decision. anyway, i've known enough people who want it reversed to believe that the ideal timing is to wait until your youngest is 2 years old. I think if you can make it to 2 without wanting another than it's more of a sure thing that you are really ready to be done.

 

Thanks for your reply
I hear everything you're saying, but we're pretty certain that we're done and my issue isn't really over whether to make it permanent or not, but when to do it. I definitely appreciate even larger families than ours and if I had easier pregnancies, I would be open to more children for my own family too!! I'm more just trying to decide when the best time would be for hubby to go in and get his vasectomy.

 

The recovery for your DH is not that bad altho they can not lift anything heavy for a week or so but otherwise there are no real problems. I would think for your own piece of mind to have the appt booked so he can go as soon as you have the babies or shortly thereafter so that the babies are still in the eat/sleep faze and that way he would not be required to do too much for a week and than it is usually a couple months to do the testing to make sure that everything has been done correctly. I believe at least for us the first test is two months after the procedure and than a second test the third month after the procedure and while waiting still using birth control cause otherwise there may be a big surprise!!!!!
But honestly it is up to you for the when but in my opinion I would wait until afterwards that leaves the stress of if you went into labour out of the picture and he will be able to drive himself to and from the appt and than able to rest as the babies will mostly be sleeping.

 

My DH had his once I was recovered when the girls were around 10 weeks old. He was such a help the first weeks I did not think I could have him "down and out" like me. It only took a weekend for him to recover.

 

I'm thinking that maybe after the babies come sounds like a better plan. I'm sure dh will too!

 

My DH had it done about 6 months after our twins were born. It is a very easy procedure, but he was out of it for a day and was really uncomfortable for the next 2 days and did need some TLC. So it was perfect for us to wait until I was able to care for him and all the children! Good Luck.

 

QUOTE(****mws**** @ Dec 28 2007, 08:01 AM) [snapback]548525[/snapback]
i would say sooner rather than later.. im one of those people who got pregnant when i looked at my dh..
and then the first time after my first son was born.. i got pregnant with my twins..

having three babies in a year was very hard..

if you know your done.. i say go for it..



3 babies in a year- that is amazing! I'm sure it was very challenging at first

 

I would suggest after the babies are born, and even though you've said it's just a matter of 'when,' you also said that you are pretty certain you are done. That isn't 100% and so I'd wait.

 

us too; i told him he had to sign up because the list is long here; im thinking of getting my tubes tied if i have to a c-section-but im not sure if they would do it at the same time or not.

 

That's funny to me that the list is long. All those poor guys. . . what a waiting list to be on!!

I think most Drs will do a tubal at the same time as a section. Either way I deliver, Dh is going to do the vasectomy.

 

LOL i think there is a lot of us older moms/dads here having our last babies and we have a doctor shortage; My dh said he would get the V but i know it will take him forever to make the appt.

 

We've opted to wait until the babies were born and are now waiting to schedule the procedure. (And we've gotten a lot of negative feedback for wanting it done because we are pretty young, but after a very difficult pregnancy and the fact that we have two now, we know we are done.)

 

If you end up with a c-section, can you get your tubes tied? Or are you set on DH getting a vasectomy instead? Just thinking that it sounds silly to have you both undergo surgery if you don't need to....but I do not know anything about getting tubes tied (i.e., health risks, hormone changes, etc.) so forgive me if I am recommending something you have totally ruled out.

At the time of my c-section we were 99% sure we were done having kids, but we waited. DH had his vasectomy when the kids were around 9 mos. old. If I were you, I would wait until you are healed well enough to take care of the kids for a couple of days on your own. But have the doctor, and the pre-op appt scheduled.

 

I'm not getting a tubal ligation b/c I've had a lot of "female" problems in the past and I just don't want to mess around with anything in there and risk causing more problems, even if I end up with a c/section. Also, my husband has a urological issue that could be fixed during a vasectomy from what I understand, so it makes sense for him to do it.

 

QUOTE(gina_leigh @ Dec 29 2007, 12:57 PM) [snapback]549936[/snapback]
We've opted to wait until the babies were born and are now waiting to schedule the procedure. (And we've gotten a lot of negative feedback for wanting it done because we are pretty young, but after a very difficult pregnancy and the fact that we have two now, we know we are done.)



I understand.

 

My husband had his vasectomy about 5 months after the girls were born. As a matter of fact the week after Audrey came home from the NICU. We were sure we were done. He was down just over the weekend and felt better.

 

QUOTE(SoBlessed @ Dec 29 2007, 12:21 PM) [snapback]550047[/snapback]
I'm not getting a tubal ligation b/c I've had a lot of "female" problems in the past and I just don't want to mess around with anything in there and risk causing more problems, even if I end up with a c/section. Also, my husband has a urological issue that could be fixed during a vasectomy from what I understand, so it makes sense for him to do it.


Makes sense! My advice to wait though, would still be the same! Good luck in your decision! I have to say, we had absolutely no regrets after it was done.

 

My DH wants to have his done when our twins are 2-3 months old. He wants to make sure that they are born healthy and thriving before he goes ahead and makes things permanent! Our rationale may be a little different, though - we had IVF for both pregnancies, and NEVER want to go through fertility treatments again... BUT we would consider trying again if something tragic happened to our boys (after all our fertility troubles, I have a big fear of stillbirth...) As long as they are born healthy, we will not be trying fertility treatments again.

(But, even though DH is convinced that he wants the big V, a big part of me wants to 'throw caution to the wind' for a few years, and see if baby #4 happens naturally... :winking0009: )

 

QUOTE(3greysandamutt @ Dec 29 2007, 05:03 PM) [snapback]550110[/snapback]
My DH wants to have his done when our twins are 2-3 months old. He wants to make sure that they are born healthy and thriving before he goes ahead and makes things permanent! Our rationale may be a little different, though - we had IVF for both pregnancies, and NEVER want to go through fertility treatments again... BUT we would consider trying again if something tragic happened to our boys (after all our fertility troubles, I have a big fear of stillbirth...) As long as they are born healthy, we will not be trying fertility treatments again.

(But, even though DH is convinced that he wants the big V, a big part of me wants to 'throw caution to the wind' for a few years, and see if baby #4 happens naturally... :winking0009: )


Would DH be okay with throwing caution to the wind for awhile too? If a big part of you wants to hold off, that is something to seriously consider before making it totally permanent

 

we are in the same boat

with the twins we will have 4 kids. i too appreciate that large families are great, and i have known many, but we feel that 4 is enough for us, especially 4 under 5.

my husband is going to be done too, this was something i never thought wed have done as we are only 29 and 30 and i never wanted to lose the chance to have another child, just incase something ever happemned to one of us and we remarried...we are just so young to be finished. but when we found out abou the twins we made a joint decision that 4 children was enough and that no matter what happened we were finished. we were a little scared too that if we fell preg again that we would have another set of twins and felt that 6 children would def be too many for us. and i say FOR US.

He will be done a few months after the twins are born once things settle down. good luck with your decsion.

 

QUOTE(SoBlessed @ Dec 29 2007, 09:28 PM) [snapback]550349[/snapback]
Would DH be okay with throwing caution to the wind for awhile too? If a big part of you wants to hold off, that is something to seriously consider before making it totally permanent


We are in negotiations... Even though I said that we wouldn't try fertility treatments again, I was only thinking of all the drugs, and IVF's... we DO have one frozen embryo, so there is a very slim chance that #4 could happen even if DH has the procedure done! I am leaning towards using alternate, non-permanent, BC methods until the twins are 12-18 months or so, then attempting a frozen embryo transfer. If it works, fabulous, and if it doesn't... that is when I want to throw caution to the wind for a year or two! (My DH is inclined to get the V when the twins are a couple of months old, attempt the frozen transfer when they are 12-18 months... and then just accepting whatever happens - if the transfer works, we were meant to have 4 kids; if it doesn't, we were only meant to have 3!) So, that's why I personally am not ready for the V!

If I was 100% certain that I was done, I would still be leaning towards waiting until after babies were here. Just my personal phobias - I am a very "what if?" worrywort kind of person. :unsure: