Vacation without our kids- should we do it?

Hi - I hope everyoneis having a wonderful semi-quiet weekend :rotflmbo:

OK, so my fil (whom I LOVE) just offered to take the kids so DH and I could go on vacation. Should we do it?

Let me explain the senerio... First of all I work from 9-3 M-F and have exteme guilt for not being a SAHM. I feel if I go somewhere the kids should come as well. ( Not that we have gone anywhere on vacation) I am gone for work overnight about 7-8 nights total a year. It almost always makes me feel sick to leave them. The kids always stay at my house DH works nights and one of the Grandmas come and stay over and watch the kids at night and help during the day. I just know how fast time flys and why would I want to be away form them, when I work etc. The guilt factor, may not make it worth while.

Also my inlaws live 3 hours from us. We only see them a few times a year. My fil is a dear sweet man. I just love him to death. He is incredible with the kids! My mil is nice - but just not warm and fuzzy. KWIM??? I think she has deep down issues with my DH that she would NEVER say. My mil was gone a lot (working) while DH was grwong up and his "granny" lived with him and he considered her is mom. My mil is very nice- but lazy. She is overweight and enjoys sitting most of the time. With my crew I only sit when they are all asleep! I only mention she is overweight because I worry about her health. And ability to care for them for a few days. My fil is a HUGE smoker for 50 plus years- they are both late 60's. I worry he will have a heart attack anytime. None of my kids have ever spent the night away from home. I don't trust my kids around my mom's husband.- long story- so she comes to my house and stays the night (yes it's a bad situation) Plus it is so much easier! The sleeping issues, high chairs etc... YKWIM

I would trust my inlaws but they live in a very remote area 3 hours a way- the nearest hospital is over an hour away, they live on a lake- don't/ can't lock their doors... SO I've been to worried to leave them. What if one of them has a heartattack? No neighbors around. What is one of the kids gets outside and gets lost in the woods or drowns... I feel more comfortable with my 4 year old but the twins... Plus where will they sleep. Pack n play- they will for sure climb out/ beds- they will for sure fall out...

The guilt factor I would get over but their safety??? I think I would worry myself to death and not have a good time. Not to mention- they have NEVER been without one of the two of us at night and in a almost strange place. Strange for the twins for sure... Most likely if we did go- it would only be for 3 nights 4 days. Probally out of the country- somewhere warm- an all inclusive resort of some kind. Soundds wonderful right- but just thinking about it makes me shake.

I've thought about asking them to come to saty at our house- but I'm not sure they would come.. I guess that could be the deciding factor...

Am I an abnormal control freak- (it's ok if you say yes) The thought of them driving the kids somewhere makes me REALLY nervous as well. I just don't do well not knowing exactly where my kids are...

Thanks for your time and advice! You girls are GREAT

Jenn

 

You are not a freak, unless I am one too :lol: We are leaving ours for the first time next month for 3 nights. The only reason I feel comfortable leaving them is that my parents are going to watch them at OUR house. That way everything is baby proofed, it is a safe/known place to them. It has all their snacks, cups, cribs, etc.

I know it is going to be sooooo hard to leave them, but I also know I will love the time alone with dh.

 

If you would feel comfortable leaving them in your own home - why don't you suggest that they come to you. Would be far easier on the in-laws as the house is all set up for the kids and all their stuff is around. You could also get friends to pop around occasionally to make sure everything is alright and the in-laws are coping.

 

I agree with the PPs- would it be possible for your ILs to come to your house to watch the kids?

DH and I are going on a vaca without the kids for the first time very soon- in a couple weeks. DHs parents are coming from out of town to watch the boys. It's not that I don't trust them, exactly, but it's still going to be hard. I am a control freak for sure. BUT I also know in my heart of hearts that my boys will be fine, and maybe that bugs me a bit, too.

Hugs to you- if it isn't going to work right now, maybe sometime in the near future?

 

I would just ask them to come to your house, it would probably be easier for them too. if they won't, then maybe it just wasn't ment to be. go with your gut feeling. if you don't and you go - you will be miserable. it does sound like a great trip I hope you get to go!

 

Oh My goodness!

No hesitation!!! GO GO GO GO GO Aren;t you packed yet????

LOL

Honestly, I can see your hesitation, and your concerns, but (what's that saying?) don't look a gift horse in the mouth! Say thank you and don't let the man see you cringe.

I wish somebody would make that kind of offer to us. We had to beg people to stay with our 3 kids when we were offered Green Bay Packer tickets at Lambeau Field which coincided with our 15th anniversary. LOL

Maybe they'll be willing to stay at your house as PP mentioned. That would be the safest bet for you. But on the other hand, your kids also need to be in another environment, and listen to others rules. My parents house has to be the least child proofed, because they don't have children come to visit (they're 8 hours away from us, 15 hours away from my brother). My kids have never touched an outlet, gotten under the sick, etc. But they were kept busy doing OTHER things that mommy and daddy don't normally let them do. My parents have a pond, buy my dad is right on top of the situation with the kids. They also have horses and donkeys. My kids LOVE going there.

Kids also tend to listen better when they're not sure of the rules. New people, new rules, new experiences. Don't be surprised when they want cookies for dinner! LOL Just kidding

Enjoy your trip and try not to worry too much!

 

Like the PP's, I would ask if they would come to your house. It would be much easier (and less stressful) for the kids to sleep in their own beds. My dh and I are taking a vacation in Sept for 5 days w/o the kids. My mom and dad are basically moving into my house for that time to watch the kids (and my dogs). I feel its easier on everyone just to do it that way. The kids are already going to be stressed b/c mommy and daddy are not here, so why take them out of their normal environment and cause even more stress?? Just my .02