Upset with my OBGYN

Hey I have posted a few times in regards to some worries I had about my identical twins. Anyways I found out I was having identical twins at 7 weeks 3 days and was so excited, then the next day my OB says there are two types of identical twins monodiamniotic and monoamniotic, basically we dont know which one you are. So I basically had to pry out of her what it would mean if I was monoamniotic and then I started worrying, she told me its rare and i'm probably not that and its a worst case scenerio. I asked her what makes her think I might be, and she said oh thats easy they are sharing the same sac (placenta). So I said well does my ultrasound look different then other people's is this why you are telling me that and she said no I would tell anyone the same thing. She said its to early to see anything and to come back in a month and I should know. I am honestly kind of mad because she replaced the joy of me conceiving twins with fear. Why would you tell someone that when they just found out they were going to have twins? Its not like she saw anything unusual in my ultrasound (so she says) so why make someone worry? I cant eat or sleep right, (although I am trying). Its like ok so a women comes in over 30 are you going to tell her the next day after she discovers she is pregnant your baby could be down syndrome? It just makes me kind of mad that she would mention that if you cant tell anything from an ultrasound that early, so basically I am going to worry for an entire month now. Anyone else had a similar expierence or think that its strange she did that? It seemed rather insensitive to me, I am thinking of switching OB's after my next appointment.

 

Try not to be too upset, yet. I know emotionally you are going through a lot just finding out you are having twins. And, I know this isn't a good excuse, but some OB's just want you to know up fron the risks associated with carrying twins. I think you should be patient and take it one day at a time. Try not to worry too much, as just carrying twins, no matter what type, is stressful enough. There is a lot of good info on this website and other websites that I am sure you will get throughout the pregnancy. If you do find out you are mono/mono, my advice would be to read as much as you can and get all the facts for yourself so you know what could happen--but also so you can know the success stories. Having mono/mono is challenging, but many, many successful stories are out there--especially on this website.

Congratulations on having twinkies!!

 

Congratulations on your twins! And ditto the pp's advice.
DH and I found out at 12w that we were having twins, at our first u/s. I've been feeling disappointed when I see all these people who found out earlier and thinking it would've been nice to know even earlier. But I guess there are advantages to finding out at 12w, because the tech was able to tell us right away that "They have two sacs around each of them." So I don't know what my OB would've said if we'd known it was twins before we could tell what type. I agree with the pp though that it seems like OBs like their patients to understand the risks in multiple pregnancies. BUT like she said, I wouldn't worry too much yet (easier said than done, I know!); the mono-mono twins are the least common type by far.

I recommend getting the book When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads by Dr. Luke. It's a really valuable source of info during a twin pregnancy. It will answer a lot of your questions and help you start off on the right foot in terms of taking the best possible care of yourself and your babies. :hug

 

I can totally relate to you. I'm going through the same thing...the specialist said the ultrasound tech wrote something in my file about having an abnormal uterus but did not have the pictures in there and he didn't even see them..rather relayed this information to me and said he was going to send me for a 3d ultrasound right away to see if all is well...so I've been soo freaked and stressed and crying cause I'm afraid I'm gonna lose them....

Then I called my Doula. She said listen....nothing right now indicates your babies are in trouble. You are not bleeding. Your levels are right on. You need to just take all that and tuck it away as information but not focus on it. Deal with today as today and not what tomorrow might be. It's stressful to think that way so live in the moment...eat well, rest well and know that they are fine. Just deal with anything else as it happens.

So, it was still hard but I tried to just have faith and focus on calming things and do things to change my mind.

I think doctors just say things like that not realizing the implications it can have and how it takes an emotional toll.

Just keep thinking in today and that you and your babies are well!

(reading a book helps me change my mind too)

 

As someone who had mono/mono twins over a year ago, I now have a different perspective on things. My doctor told me he thought i might be having mono/mono twins my first appointment, at 7 weeks, because there was only one yolk sac. This upset my husband, as it sort of "ruined" our joyful twin experience. But looking back, I now appreciate him being upfront right from the start. If he waited until 20 weeks to tell me, but he knew all along, I would be very upset. Now I am thankful that I had all that time to come to terms with my inpatient monitoring and getting mentally ready for how things might have turned out. I'm sure there are other reasons that doctors are required to tell you all the risks from the beginning (lawsuits, etc.). So don't think that they are being insensitive. Their job is to make sure you are informed of all your risks. I hope that your pregnancy is an uneventful one, and odds are that it will be. Momo's are extremely rare. If you are uncomfortable with your doctor, definitely change. But if I had a doctor who saw something that they thought MIGHT be an issue and DIDN'T mention it I would be more upset. I hope this doesn't come off as sounding mean, I just wanted to let you know now that I've made it through it I really appreciate my doctor's honesty and foresight right from the beginning of my pregnancy. I know it is hard not to worry, but please try not to worry!

 

QUOTE(Mel1012 @ Nov 25 2008, 09:38 PM) [snapback]1086974[/snapback]
As someone who had mono/mono twins over a year ago, I now have a different perspective on things. My doctor told me he thought i might be having mono/mono twins my first appointment, at 7 weeks, because there was only one yolk sac. This upset my husband, as it sort of "ruined" our joyful twin experience. But looking back, I now appreciate him being upfront right from the start. If he waited until 20 weeks to tell me, but he knew all along, I would be very upset. Now I am thankful that I had all that time to come to terms with my inpatient monitoring and getting mentally ready for how things might have turned out. I'm sure there are other reasons that doctors are required to tell you all the risks from the beginning (lawsuits, etc.). So don't think that they are being insensitive. Their job is to make sure you are informed of all your risks. I hope that your pregnancy is an uneventful one, and odds are that it will be. Momo's are extremely rare. If you are uncomfortable with your doctor, definitely change. But if I had a doctor who saw something that they thought MIGHT be an issue and DIDN'T mention it I would be more upset. I hope this doesn't come off as sounding mean, I just wanted to let you know now that I've made it through it I really appreciate my doctor's honesty and foresight right from the beginning of my pregnancy. I know it is hard not to worry, but please try not to worry!



No it doesnt come off mean I understand your perspective, its just that she told me my ultrasound didnt look any different then the average person at 7 weeks because most people dont see a dividing membrane that early. Being as worried as I was I called the nurse the next day and she spoke with the sonographer who did my ultrasound who told me she thinks she saw two sacs but couldnt be sure and told me not to worry. In my personal opinion, they could have waited until my 12 week scan to mention something like this when its more clear. I think there is only one yolk sac in my ultrasound but I am not positive. The sonographer said everything looked fine and she doesnt think I have anything to worry about but the thing is its kind of hard not to worry when your told you basically might not be having babies at all. If my ultrasound looked normal at 7 weeks (which the OBGYN said) then whats the point telling someone something so negative like that the day after they find out they are pregnant, why not wait until a 12 week scan when things are more clear?