uh oh, did I make a mistake?

I am planning a big birthday bash for their first birthday this year. It is a week before we go out of town for my sister's wedding. The wedding is 3 days after their birthday but she set the date before they were born and I wasn't due until January, so it doesn't make sense to have the party after the wedding. Now being that it will be the beginning of RSV season and I am not sure if they are getting Synagis this year, I am wondering if I made a mistake. We invited all of our families and also alot of friends with small children. I am really worried. (I am worried about them getting sick period. And I am worried about them getting sick and us missing the wedding.) I mailed out the invites yesterday. After 4 years of infertility, an extremely difficult pregnancy and then having them so early, we really just want to celebrate with the world just for this birthday and then after that the plan was to do pretty much just families until they are a little older. Please tell me I didn't make a mistake.

 

:hug99: No advice, just hugs!

 

Try not to worry so much. I know, easier said than done. But honestly, you can't go on every day worring that your little ones are going to get sick. Enjoy the wedding and the birthday. If you don't have the party out of fear, who is to say they won't get sick from someone else?

 

It's hard! I totally understand! I wouldn't know what to do. It's like you contemplate that they are older and getting a little something would only help build their immunity but then at the same time you don't want them to get sick in fear of getting something really rough! I understand! Do what you have to! I don't know what I would do- weddings can be a touchy thing- some people don't get it or don't understand. It's you that has to decide. Talk to your pedi- talk to him/her about synagis and if your twins will be getting it. I doubt it. Our cut-off was 1 year. But who knows. HOpe you figure something out!

 

:hug99:...just a thought - do you have a sitter or someone that could keep them in their room most of the time, they could make an "appearance" for cake but not be around the crowd the whole time? the party is really for the adults anyway...

 

I don't think you made a mistake. The biggest health worry is for newborns. Your babies are growing up! They will get sick sometimes, but you can't fully control it. Even if you really limit their exposure, they'll STILL get sick occasionally because maybe your DH interacted with someone sick at work and passed it to the babies before he felt any symptoms, etc. At some point, you have to loosen up a little bit (actually you don't have to, but life will be more fun!). We also have the same issue you do -the babies will have their birthdays and then sister has her big wedding exactly 3 days after. Oh, plus my uncle is getting married 6 days before. Plus add in Christmas and New Year's. I'm tired already!!!!

We're just going to live life and do what we do. Celebrate birthdays when we have birthdays and weddings when we have weddings. We'll pray nobody gets sick, but if they do, we'll deal with that, too. That said, we don't "ask for it" by going "germy" places, like kiddie arcades during the fall/winter. But we are a bit on the paranoid side about all of that. We don't even put any of our kids in the church nursery or the (FREE!) gym daycare. Not just during fall/winter, but YEAR ROUND. That's how paranoid I am, but I don't worry about life events 'cause we're involved in living life!

 

Obviously I can't do anything about it now. The party is not at home, so I can't exactly hide them away. I am just concerned given the preemie factor and that they did not get the immunities from me the last 6 weeks of pregnancy since they were born 30 weeks early and it can be quite dangerous if they get RSV because they are preemies. I am thinking that I will bring their pack n play and while they are not being held by adults, which most of the time they probably will be, I can put them in there. That should keep them far enough away from the other children that might carry common germs that are dangerous to preemies. Thanks for all the feedback on this so far.

 

Let everyone know a few days before the party that if they are showing symptoms of an illness or have recently been around someone who is sick, that they should stay home. At the party, have hand sanatizer EVERYWHERE for people to use. Make it a joke, asking people all over the place if they've seen it and used it. You could even tie ribbon around it in the birthday colors! Enjoy the party!

 

Good idea with the hand saitizer, thanks!!

 

I don't think you made a mistake, after all you've been through you deserve to celebrate your new family!