Ugh! Cute at first - Annoying to others later

Thank God I don't have twins. They are everywhere in my town. My 12 year old daughter has several twin friends. (so does my 15 year old son) My daughter's twin friends are a handful. Apparently the parents are used to it. But they don't understand that other parents of single children are not used to it.

The girls (age 12) seem to be adhd. Constantly have to be entertained. My daughter on the other hand can entertain herself and do things by herself like practicing her soccer independently kicking and dribbling.

The twins on the other hand. OMG!!! From one thing to another. They are on their way back from an amusement park already trying to plan a sleep over. How do their parents stand it?

i finally had to suggest to the parents they they seem engulfed by their twins and seem to let the kids have control over them. I on the other hand am the parent in my household and I don't do things the same way. Sometimes I say "No" jsut because I have the power to do so and I like to exercise that power once in a while.

I also had to explain to the parent that although her kids are welcome at my house, they were going to have to chill out on the "Constant Entertainment" and I am NOT on the board of their entertainment committee. I explained that when my daughter goes over there, I expect that it is my turn next, but I don't get 1 (one) kid sleeping over. I get double. I get two. I know I probably offended her but parents of twins need to realize things from the perspective of other parents.

It's overwhelming to someone who doesn't have twins. And here's some more advice. When it seems overwhelming to others, this is the time to encourage your kids to have seperate friends. Although they will always have Mutual friends that will remain friends. The twins really need to be independent. And that doesn't mean that just because one twin is going to a friends house, that the other twin has to make plans too for the same night. Chill out!!!!!!!!

Maybe it's Thursday and Twin #1 is making plans. That doesn't mean that Twin #2 has to make it equal and make plans the exact same night! Geeze! Let Twin #2 make plans another night.

That's what always happens. I'm the parent getting caught up in their drama. My daughter says "Mom, Twin #1 is staying with a friend so Twin #2 wants to come over here. " I'm like...... Why? Why does it have to happen so equal.

So...............

For whatever it's worth. Here's some advice for all you twin parents. We parents of single children do not want to get all caught up in your drama.

I know this does not apply to many of you. But for those of you whom it does apply. Take it to heart and help your children establish their own identity in their teen years and don't let your kids control you. because in doing so, it spills over into the lives of the families with a single child. Its a whole lot easier to be engulfed and controled by two children than it is by 1 child. It's hard enough to raise 1 child. I feel bad for you when this happens. But the parent has to be the one in control. NOT the child controlling the parent. In doing so, you are only making it harder on the kids when it comes to the point that the kids are loosing friends over it.

Take notice how the friends dwindle in the pre-teen years. yep! Think about it. Parents of single children just dont have the time to entertain two additional kids.

It gets so annoying, I find myself telling my daugther.. "Cant you find some friends that don't come in two's!!!!"
And I know that's not fair to her either. But she's young and she is even becoming engulfed by the drama. And the engulfing and the drama is not fair to my daughter either.

 

No kidding.

 

Do not feed the trolls.

 

Yes. We twin Mom are the worst parents on earth and have the most obnoxious children. We must have been horrible people to have been given twins, it is a direct punishment from God. Parents of singletons like yourself are the most righteous and perfect, hence you have been deemed worthy of having one at a time.

 

Now Cristina, you know twin parents aren't the worst. It's parent's of triplets. Real nice post. This is a website FOR twins and parents of twins. It's NOT a website AGAINST twins and parents of twins.

 

Wow, just wow. :laughing: :huh:

As a twin I love how I can control my parents and it's most fun to be entertained 24/7. I'm evil incarnate and was put on earth to torture my parents and my friends parents.

Have you ever thought maybe it is the parenting and not necessarily the twins fault? or most likely that the problem lies with you? and not everyone else?

 

Now Gerda! You know it's not us parents. Twin (and triplet) parents everywhere... UNITE against the evil twins!!


:rofl:

 

:laughing: You can never beat us, It's useless. We multiply and conquer parents everywhere!

 

Darn Kids!!

We'll come up with a plan to foil you all!!

 

Kick me!! I called you by your sisters name! My apologies! I knew you were Brenda (one of my bestest childhood friend's name is Brenda), but my brain seen "Gerda" and that's what I wrote. No wonder it sounded off.

 

Cindy, you sell homes? Well you won't be to parents of twins (and triplets)!

 

Sometimes we do things just because we have the power to do it and we like to exercise that power once in a while. It is amazing how twins can overwhelm their parents and their friends' parents without much effort.

 

I was dumbfounded reading this, how rude this person is who is most likely a TROLL anyway. I have heaps and heaps of twin friends and we all do not have to do something because the other is doing something. I can go to a friends party, chloe doesnt come neither does she HAVE to do something. Its not the parents fault or the twins fault that you feel this way thats your own doing and to come here and say that to other twin mums/dads or twins that use this website is a horrible thing to do.

To all you parents of twins/triplets dont worry you are not horrible parents you are wonderful, I thank my parents for giving me a twin it's something that is an amazing thing to hard to put into words and you have done amazing jobs so dont worry what this person thinks as you know better

 

Soooooooo, let me get this straight. Just so I know....For Future Reference (FFR) -

When I am upset by my singleton Mom friends that allow me to cart their kids all over creation and back and have them play at my house for hours on end and NEVER even offer to let my kids come to their house (my kids are FAR better behaved and able to entertain themselves and each other for hours on end - but I digress) not even ONE of my kids gets invited, that I should go find a WEBSITE for SINGLETON MOMS and rant and rave and accuse EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM of being selfish and rude???????? Tell them the I don't want to get caught up in THEIR drama because they are singleton parents and can NEVER understand? Is that how this works?

OK, I"m off to tell a bunch of people, whose kids I don't know that they are ALL evil! :wavey:

 

:Clap:

 

:woah:

(Brenda I forgot to let you know I'm going out on Friday night, I know it is short notice but just make sure you are going out as well and preferable to a singleton mom's house. We have to continue our evil plan of torture)


How can you not realise how ridiculous you sound, please, if you are frustrated maybe a twin based forum wasn't the best place to go. One family does not constitute for the whole, not all twin families are the same

 

Gerda, it is about time you stopped inflicting your drama on singletons and their parents

 

Gerda, I thought all four of us were going to Cindy's house for dinner on Friday night? I think it will be excellent to tell people that I had dinner at the White House despite it being the other (Tennessee) White House

 

LOL you guys are too funny! :yahoo:

 

Codie, you can come too if you want to. Just make sure to either bring Chloe with you or make sure Chloe goes to somebody elses house at the same time.

 

Hmm I think Chloe ACTUALLY has plans so I'm in :good: If not I'll be sure to bring her, Thanks but be sure to entertain me twins get bored easy so AMUSE me

 

Since Cindy is on the board of our entertainment committee I am sure she'll be doing plenty of things to keep us all entertained.

Cindy, do you have a bouncy castle and/or a swimming pool for us to use while you are preparing dinner or are you planning on something a bit more exciting?

 

HAHA and music and chips and it better be fun or I'll get sad and you dont want that!

 

Don't worry Donita, I'm used to being called both names

Gerda you're the best!

 

For what it's worth I do it to Heather and Megan all the time. :slap: They're quicker to correct me though.

 

:rotflmbo: You people are wonderful! You've just made my day, Brenda, Gerda, Richard, Adrian, Diane, Donita and everyone. This was a hilarious thread!!!

 

That's what I thought as well :rotflmbo:
It is hilarious!

 

Interesting replies.

I just figured you twin people might want a perspective from someone outside looking in.

People do not always view themselves as they are.

Kind of like the kitten looking in the mirror and seeing himself as a Lion in the mirror

Talk about being defensive!!!!

Just thought I'd throw out some free advice that that twins need to be individuals and are better tolerated
when they are single guests at someone elses home.

I guess I am a terrible mom if I am not always overly excited to have 12 to 14 year olds come to my house to hang with my kids.

And......... I really don't care if I sell a home to a parent of a twin or not. They would probably annoy me when showing houses. besides my niche is the foreclosure market. My clients are banks, not individuals with crappy personalities.

 

One more thing.........

It seems that most of the people who jump on the defense are parents of children who are not even teenagers (according to the pictures of the toddlers and kids who appear to be under the age of 10).

I think my post was directed at parents of TEENAGE twins. I was hopping for some Real Good advice or shared experiences from parents of Teenage twins

I only gave my advice to open minded parents to benefit twin children in the world. Life is hard enough raising a single child, much less twin teenagers. Perhaps there are some parents of teenage twins that can relate to what I am talking about. I'm not talking about Play dates where cute little kids play in the sand box.

I never thought my advise would turn into people acusing me of saying things I did not say.

Christina - I never said you were a bad parent (but I will say you are a self absorbed person that cannot take advice or constructive criticism)

Dfaut - I never said that your kids were evil. (you're another narrow minded individual without teenagers.)

Christian - Clapping at what Dfaut said (you don't have teenagers either, just wait - your day is coming and when you are going crazy raising teens, you might remember that someone gave you advice on a forum post)

While you all are barking back at me and telling me to go find A Forum for Parents of Single children, here's what I have to say to you................
why dont' you stay off the Teenage Twin Form (age 12 to 18)

 

Your post was based on one set of twins. I note you said your son has twin friends too, do you have a problem with them coming over too? A lot of people just wonder, why you decided to come to a site to basically vent about twins? I know you said you wanted to give advice but really, what do you know about teen (or preteen) twins beyond that one set.

As for parents of younger twins coming into this forum, we don't age segregate here, anyone can post anywhere. Your title was interesting so people looked. There are parents of younger twins, parents of teenagers (single, twin and triplet) and twins themselves on this topic. Anyone is welcome at Twinstuff including people with no twins in their family but a bit of respect is requested.

Most twins separate and have their own time with friends. It usually happens after 12. If you don't want your daughter to hang out with these girls, use your "parental powers" and not allow them to come over. Simple as that.

 

I'm the parent of teenaged twins...and also the parent of three singleton children, who came along before the twins. I think I've got you covered. (My avatar shows a 1997 photo of my twins at age 18 months).

As Kendra said, if you are actually a parent, then you surprise me by basing your opinion of twins and twin parents upon a single (or even two) example of poor parenting or badly behaved kids who happen to be twins. Such irrational generalization and inappropriately disproportionate irritation is usually the hallmark of an immature mind--usually a teenager's.

I think, however, that what you really may be is a teen yourself who is frustrated and jealous of what you seem to think is to much attention being paid to various twins you know. Or perhaps a parent who wishes she had twins and is actually the one who feels she is "on the outside looking in" a bit wistfully.

I think you should take your own advice: Chill out and try to find more constructive ways to gain attention.

Good luck to you! :wavey:

 

I have teenagers myself, two of them. I saw you in 12-18 and actually had a similar thought that you sound more like a teen than a parent of teens. If I am wrong, I apologize. I wish you well in either case.

 

I really did not come here to vent.

If you read the heading. I was looking for advice and mutual experiences. Headline reads: Cute at first, annoying to others later. Annoying to others later Parents are engulfed. Anyone else experience this?

But instead I really got attacked on here.
I feel that there are a lot of narrow minded people always on the defense. It must be something with Parents of Twins.

My son had twin friends in 7th grade (going into 10th grade now). They were identical. Both twins like skateboarding. One twin was my sons friend and came over more often. But if my son and his twin friend wanted to go to skate park together, I did not end up with a Tag along. The other twin had his own friends and chose to skate somewhere else with his own friend.

All I'm saying is that is should be this way. It seems healthier for the twins to have seperate friends and also easy on the parents of single children to NOT Feel like they have an extra load with a tag along.

We parents of single children cant help it that we are a majority and are not used to getting bombarded.

I guess I have my own experience to share (my son's twin friends). I'm not getting No help here on this forum. Maybe there are not a lot of parents of teenagers on this Forum.

There were 13 sets of twins in a school of 700 students in my town about 3 years ago. That was just the middle school. That didnt count when my daughter was in Elementary. Daughter is now in Middle School and has 2 sets of friends that are twins.

As for the other set that is not annoying, I admire thier mother for helping them establish seperate friends. Last time my daughter was together with them, it was a birthday sleepover and each twin was allowed to have a friend.

My daughter is good friends with One of the twins and not as close to the other twin. The other twin doesn't seem to mind because she has friends of her own as well.

Obviously there are no a lot of people with Twin Teenagers on this Forum that are willing to share their experiences.

I have only found Parents of younger twins that are self absorbed and think thier kids are the cute ones and get on the defense when someone tries to talk about reality. I guess I'll drop it and let those parents get back to the sandbox and wiping PBJ off of little faces.

If anyone else can share their teenage experiences and are not going to attack me, I look forward to hearing your stories.

 

I like how peopl on here acuse of me saying something that I didnt say.

What did I say ???

to give you the impression that I was basking my opinion of twins and twin parents upon a single (or even two) example of poor parenting or badly behaved kids who happen to be twins.

I'm 43 years old and Thank God that I don't have twins.

Attacked Again!

 

Wow, self absorbed. Oh, and I clapped, not some random person named Christian.

I do not think you are being honest with yourself. You did not come here to give advice, but rather to vent about your sheer dislike of twins. You have made your feelings quite evident. Like Diane said, I would never even think about going to a singleton site to vent about them, just because I have met a few that were awfully difficult children. I know better than to lump them all together. I guess in your mind, all twins are the same and have the same issues and their parents have the same parenting styles. It just seems odd to me that you would think that.

I agree with you on one thing, thank God you don't have twins.