two more boys?

I went to 20 week ultrasound last friday. as eager as i want one of them to be a girl for variety (have a 3 yr old boy already), technician told us that it's going to be two boys.

I guess i'm a little disappointed that now i'm going to have 3 boys and no girl. in the meantime, i feel guilty that i'm not devoting all my affection to the newborns merely because of the fact that they are not what i want.

Has anyone had similar thoughts and how did you get over it? On the positive note, they are all perfectly healthy.

 

Yup - totally! It's one reason I agreed to the 20 week u/s with this second pregnancy because I know it takes me time to adjust to what we're having.

When I was pregnant with the girls, I remember thinking "I can handle two boys, I could even handle a boy & a girl, but two girls will be the death of me!" So of course, we had two girls. :laughing: It was good to find out early & work through some of my concerns/fears about having girls & have the time to get excited about it.

This time around, I thought "I hope it's another girl - I'm used to them now!" and of course we're having a boy. ardon: Once I knew though, I went through the same process and am now excited about having a boy.

I think it's totally normal to feel sad when you had one thing in mind & the reality is different - that doesn't mean you aren't going to love your boys & be excited about them, but I also think it's okay to feel sad about not having a girl. :hug:

 

:hug: I think it's normal to feel that way when you are hoping for a difference outcome. But you know once those two little boys come you will love them just the same. :wub: I have always remembered what my Grandmother told me, she had 3 boys and my Dad was the youngest. She said she was so upset when he was born and not a girl, she really wanted a girl (she also only had brothers), but as they got older she realized why she got another boy! My Dad was the only one of her boys who helped them out as they got older with anything that was needed and didn't mind doing it. That story has always stuck in my head.

So glad the babies are looking good. :Clap:

 

My 80 year old neighbor had a baby girl first. She was very upset and cried and cried because she wanted a boy. She went on to have 8 boys LOL I think it is totally natural to prefer one gender or the other and be a little sad when that doesn't happen. I was very lucky, I have a boy and 3 girls so I get to experience both. Who knows what Baby 5 will be but honestly, a boy would be nice since we only have one boy. My sister in law has 3 boys and she was bummed at first, too. Congrats on your healthy babies!

 

It is totally normal to feel that way. I had a boy first and when I went to my 20 weeks scan to find out what I was having with the twins and I was told 2 more boys, I was totally disapointed. I really wanted at least 1 girl. I did get over it and I wouldnt trade any of my boys for a girl.

 

thank you all. I'm slowly adjusting to the fact now. all it matters is that they come out smooth and healthy..let alone the fact i don't need to buy new sets of pink clothes (they can just wear whatever from their big brother)

 

Totally felt that way too!! I had one girl, got pregnant with twins and me and my hubby said "one of these babies HAS got to be a boy"-Nope, I have 3 girls. We own a door company and thought boys would be perfect to have installing for us one day-LOL, not that girls can't.

 

You just wait until you meet those precious little boys, I can promise you will forget all about it. :wub: Congratulations!! and I am so happy to hear everything looks good so far!

 

I had the exact same scenario and I felt guilty that I was disappointed it was two boys. However, that is why I found out in mid-pregnancy so any of those feelings could be gone by the time they arrived and they definitely were. I love my 3 boys with all my heart and I already can't picture myself having a girl. We are definitely done with children so I know girls aren't in the cards for me. I like that being so close in age and all the same sex that they will be a tight knit little bunch.

 

I am having the same feelings this time too, and I found out around 16 weeks. I'm disappointed I'll never have a daughter, never have any of those mother-daughter experiences. It's been getting easier over time, but sometimes it's still hard. I love all of my boys, but it's just the idea of "what might have been.." I suppose.

 

Believe me .... anyone who knows me, knows how I struggled with my feelings of disappointment. I was really wanting a girl with my last pregnancy and ended up with my twin boys. I can't say I ever really got over the disappointment .. but I have come to terms with it. My boys mean everything to me and I couldn't possibly love them any more than I do .. but I still have that lingering disappointment. Especially when I see little girls. I get serious girl envy. I only wish I wasn't as old as I was because I would just try again ! I've even thought about adopting a little girl. Now I'm hoping I will get a Granddaughter !

Don't feel bad about your feelings .. you will love these little guys as much as any mom can !!

 

I felt the same way with the boys. Now I'm really hoping this one is a girl (Fingers crossed!) I think if this one is a boy I'd adopt a girl but am unsure.

 

Wow, didn't know there were so many other women that felt the same. I have always wanted a girl and DH and I were hoping for a boy and a girl since I had to go through fertility treatments and we don't know if we'll try again. I was disappointed when I found out it was two boys. I've never pictured myself as a mom of just boys. Both DH and I come from households with a boy and a girl. Anyway, when we found out, we called to tell family and it just wasn't as exciting--I felt like people were kinda disappointed or something and when I got off the phone I just burst out crying. Up to that point I had so many people say "well hopefully it's a boy and a girl!" and only one person told me she thought I was having two boys. I was kinda bummed for a few days and felt bad about it because they were perfectly healthy from what we could tell so far and I should be grateful to even be pregnant in the first place--it was not easy to get to this point. I started to get over it and then found out my cervix was shortening kinda quickly and put on bedrest, so at that point all that mattered to me was that I carry these babies far enough and have them in my arms. I realized I loved them already and they were not even viable outside of the womb yet.
We don't know what the future holds, maybe we'll try for a girl, but we could end up with 3 (or 4!!) boys!

 

I really appreciate that this thread got bumped up! When I read this the first time, we didn't know what we were having. Now we know it's two boys! At first, I felt guilty and embarrassed for feeling disappointed (we both thought it was a boy and a girl). I was sad because my sister has 2 boys so there will be no girls in this generation (in my family), no one will have excuses to get girlie things, I won't be able to experience having one of each and I won't have the mother/daughter experience. This is particularly tough because my mom just passed away last year.

But that has shifted pretty quickly as I learn about how great it will be to have 2 boys: they can share clothes, my sister says boys always fall in love with their mommies (which sounds kinda nice), they will have a brother to bond and play with and we won't have to deal with the teenage girl phase (which I recall being a challenging phase for the whole family when I was a teen). . While a boy and girl would have been lovely, I already refer to the babies and my hubby as "my boys", which feels good. Plus, I'll always be the queen bee!

 

I am super super happy to see this thread again. We just found out Baby #5 is a healthy girl. That means we will end up with 1 boy and 4 girls. I always told myself as long as it is healthy I don't care but honestly, my DH and I were both very disappointed. I am over it now and I am already so in love with her but it is nice to know I am not alone. Thank you all so much for being honest!

 

:welcome: I just wanted to say welcome to Twinstuff!!

 

I know how you feel! I had 2 boys already and was hoping for one of my twins to be a girl. I was so upset at the 16 week and 20 week u/s's that I cried when I was shown they were boys. Then I felt guilty just being happy that they were healthy no matter what the sex was. But then I got pregnant just before Christmas 2008 after a m/c in April that year and I was hoping for a girl again and wanted to know. I took a Intelligender test that came up boy immediately even before I started shaking it. I knew when I went to my u/s at 20 weeks I was going to have a boy, but I still felt like a failure in that I couldn't give my dh a Daddy's girl and so I got mad and cried all over again.

I'm fine with my 5 boys after my last 3 were born and even before that. I think what helped me was having names for them and feeling them move. But it was a shock that I had only boys. I had a 6% chance of having another boy and next time it's 3% because having all one gender in a family gets rarer and rarer with how many kids you have.

Next time I get pregnant I'm having a surprise and telling myself it's a boy from the get go. lol