twins split up for the 4th..

My mom decided to take Angelo to Tennesee with her for a family reunion. Unfortunately, I couldn't go, but it bothers me as to why she picked him over Anthony. Not saying that she should have taken Anthony, but how could you decide?! I feel bad because it's their 1st 4th of July & I can't share it with both of them.. blahhhhhhh.. just a little vent.. thanks for listening!

 

Yes, how do you pick one? I would feel bad for the one left behind.

 

Ohhh, i am so sorry. That has to be hard!
Maybe you could do something fun with Angelo by yourself when he gets back?
DH & I havent ever split the girls up since they have been born (like to go to the store or anything....), but I am taking ONE baby on saturday to a birthday party with me & DH is staying home with the other. How in the world am I going to choose???? DH thinks we should flip a coin. Either way I will feel bad.

 

Are you certain it was that easy for her to decide? Maybe she just didn't want you to know that she was feeling bad at all. Of course I am saying this not knowing your mom at all. That must be hard though not having both with you, I give you a ton of credit for allowing her to take him.

 

QUOTE(tamaras @ Jul 3 2008, 10:19 PM) [snapback]859496[/snapback]
Ohhh, i am so sorry. That has to be hard!
Maybe you could do something fun with Angelo by yourself when he gets back?
DH & I havent ever split the girls up since they have been born (like to go to the store or anything....), but I am taking ONE baby on saturday to a birthday party with me & DH is staying home with the other. How in the world am I going to choose???? DH thinks we should flip a coin. Either way I will feel bad.


I would be mad that Mom is taking one to Tennessee and not the other!!!

However, to a birthday party, I would (it sounds childish but I still do it, I refuse to grow up!) eeiny-meeny-miney-mo it, and then the next party take the one who did not go this time. Luckily at a young age, the babies are not going to really know what they are missing out on. I took Sophia to my SIL's bridal shower and Luke was home with DH until the end. Neither one of them knew the difference.

 

*hugs*


Dianna

 

Have you asked her why she decided to pick him? Maybe she wants to start doing things with them individually and his name came out of the hat first. That's all I can think of. :hug99: I would definitely ask her.

 

Maybe she has something special planned for Anthony for next time. I think you should enjoy your one-on-one time and if you mom doesn't have plans for Anthony, help her make plans so you can enjoy some one-on-one time with Angelo. :hug99:

 

I agree that enjoying time with one baby is precious. Twin moms can't do that very often! I agree, ask her why. I would say, suggest to her to take the other baby next time. Happy Fourth of July!

 

I give you a lot of credit. I don't think I could let either or both go anywhere without me right now. My in laws have hinted at wanting to take them over night and even though the sleep would be nice, I wouldn't be able to sleep without them. I am a little bit of a worry wart though. Enjoy your time alone it will be so nice to have some quality one on one time. I don't know how she would choose either, but I agree with pp suggestions of asking her and suggesting something she can do with Anthony.

Jen

 

QUOTE(Leighann @ Jul 4 2008, 07:44 AM) [snapback]859773[/snapback]
Maybe she has something special planned for Anthony for next time. I think you should enjoy your one-on-one time and if you mom doesn't have plans for Anthony, help her make plans so you can enjoy some one-on-one time with Angelo. :hug99:


I totally agree with the above. In Joan Friedman's book "Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children" she encourages alone time with one child and reminds parents of twins that it can be a detriment to always treat twins as a "unit" rather than unique individuals. Spending time alone with Anthony will allow you to get to know him differently than when he is with Angelo. And when the time comes, spend alone time with Angelo. I know it's hard at first, but I think you will really enjoy spending alone time with each of them.

 

I think it is great that your mom wanted to take one. There is always one that gets to go somewhere "first" when you do things that split them up. Next time, I am sure she will take the other baby. It is great for you and them to have time apart! And by starting early, it will only be easier for everyone. One day, at Friendly's we met a family with twins who were the same age as mine--they were about 4 at the time. The mom said how if one was sick, she had to keep them both home from daycare, because they couldn't handle being apart. She blamed it on herself for never allowing them time to be without the other. It is VERY healthy for them to get time apart, even if it is just taking one to the grocery store and leaving the other at home.

 

QUOTE(babymOmmax2 @ Jul 3 2008, 09:14 PM) [snapback]859486[/snapback]
My mom decided to take Angelo to Tennesee with her for a family reunion. Unfortunately, I couldn't go, but it bothers me as to why she picked him over Anthony. Not saying that she should have taken Anthony, but how could you decide?! I feel bad because it's their 1st 4th of July & I can't share it with both of them.. blahhhhhhh.. just a little vent.. thanks for listening!


The first time my twins were ever away from each other was when I decided to go to the store and just take one. I was torn as to who I should choose, but DH said, "Think of it this way, the lucky guy gets to stay home with Daddy." That made me feel much better about just taking one of my babies out.

So think of it this way, Anthony is the truly lucky guy because he gets to be at home all alone with his mom! Hope you and Anthony had a great 4th of July!