twins on the way in 2 weeks and worried about sleeping situation

Hi, I am looking for some advice from you twin mamas. I am 36 weeks pregnant with twin boys and have a 20 month old son as well. My son used to sleep in his crib but then he went on a trip with my husband for a week and shared a bed with him and then he got sick for a good week and so he slept with us as I was concerned with his asthma and then the nights started to get really cold and even with his long sleeeve pajamas and socks on he would still have cold hands and nose if he wasnt in our bed in the covers with us. So long story short- he will no longer sleep in his crib and when hes in bed with us he is glued next to me as close as he can be and even when i get up to go to the bathroom (which is often now..) he cries while im gone. We have tried to let him cry it out in his crib but after an hour I just cant take it and we give in. This wouldnt be much of a problem if I wasnt expecting twins in 2 weeks. We will be putting the twins in a co-sleeper next to the bed and I am worried that my son will still be in our bed and when I get up in the night to nurse them or change a diaper he will cry and everyone will wake up. So any suggestions as to what I should do would be appreciated. I know some of you will mention to let him cry it out in his crib but it just kills me to hear him and I wonder even if it does work and he goes back to sleep in it if he will get jealous when the twins arrive and want to sleep in our bed all over again.

 

I had similar situations in 2 of my pregnancies with each of my sons.. With this pg, I was on bedrest and could only get comfy on the recliner downstairs and a certain 2 year old got way too used to sneaking into our room every night. What worked for us both times was that we made the transition to 'big boy beds' before the baby (babies) came. They got to pick out new bedding, wall stickers, etc. and it really helped them to want to be in their rooms. . . my sons were a little older than yours when we did this, so I don't know if your son is ready for this or not. Also, I will say that I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a lot of meltdowns but the new babies sleep through ANYTHING (except a feeding ) They just kind of have to with 2 other kids here !! I'm sure everything will work out for you! Can't wait to hear your birth story!

 

I've never let any of my kids sleep with us because I worry to much about rolling on them or waking them so I've never been in this situation. However, I don't think you have many choices: all of you can sleep together, but you risk having your oldest wake everyone each time you get up for the bathroom or feedings or start having someone (oldest or the twins) sleep in their own bed. Unfortunately transitioning your oldest is probably going to be the hardest especially with new babies in the household. We transitioned my oldest into a big bed 2 1/2 months before the babies arrived, but it was disaster until the babies were about 1 1/2 months old. She was constantly being woke by their crying and coming into their room while I was feeding one and would wake the other before I was ready. However it might be easier to switch your son now if it is going to require CIO because he will probably wake the babies if his room is close to theirs. Wish I had some better advice, good luck!

 

Hey there... I have a similar situation. i have a two and a half year old and 3 month old twins. My toddler sleeps in his own room but sneaks in next to dh in the middle of the night. I was too exhausted to correct it at the end of pregnancy and am really exhausted now!

We ended up putting the twins in their nursery together in a crib from day one. I find that I can't sleep next to them, or I wake up too much with every little sound. We have a loveseat in the nursery and we can feed two at once there if possible. My husband and I take shifts at night, because I found it was too much for one person in the beginning. I'm breastfeeding but also supplementing with formula. I sometimes sleep with one of the babies on the couch in the nursery at night.

This has worked pretty well for us, and we're both getting some sleep. However, the babies are not totally breastfed, which isn't the best. I'm personally happy to have survived so far! Good luck with your babies!

 

Thanks for the suggestions. As for putting him in a big boy bed, we tried that. A few months ago we thought we would get him used to sleeping in it before the twins arrived. The first couple of nights he slept in it all night, then day by day he got up earlier and earlier and would walk into our room and get in bed with us. He first would come in around 5, then 4 the next day then a week later he would be in our bed just an hour after going to sleep in his bed. I was thinking of putting a little gate at his door to keep him in his room but never got around to it and thought it was a little extreme. Have any of you done that?

 

I hate to say it, but I really think you need to tough it out and put him in his own bed/crib. With two new babies coming, you should do it now so he doesn't resent the babies or take it out on them. Try it now before the new ones come home and your life is still a little normal.
Cry it out is the most horrible awful thing for moms and dads to go through, and it takes a strong person to do it, but I had to do it with my youngest three and after three days it had worked. I hated myself and sat by their door crying the first night, but every night got better and better and then in the end they sleep so well now and I am so glad they did it, because I knew that their sleep habits were not healthy.
I think you need to do something, because when the babies come and your sleep schedule will be thrown upsidedown and crazy especially in those first few weeks, you will need as much rest as you can and so will your son. If he is not sleeping well either because you are up all the time with the babies he will be up too and then the both of you will be crabby the next day! lol
It is a good thing that he has slept a little in a big boy bed. I think you're needing to be firm with him, and just keep putting him back in his bed when he comes to you. Be loving but firm, and hopefully he'll get ahold of it by the time the babies come. But again, I really think you need to try your best to have this taken care of by the time your twins are born.
Good luck!