TWINS AT 40?!...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by wpitlik1, Jan 4, 2010.

  1. wpitlik1

    wpitlik1 Member

    HI ALL; Perhaps you have some wisdom I do not yet have....my husband and I have had many months of infertility, and chose to do Intrauterine Insemination. While driving to my doctor's appointment two weeks after for my pregnancy test, I decided no matter what theoutcome was, I would find peace and be ok with it. I did not however, expect this outcome, at age 40...ON OUR FIRST ATTEMPT! Twins....I can still hardly believe it. I teach child development classes to high school, and have wanted to be a mom for along time, and all I can think is, "How are we going to do this?" I am still freaking out, and I have known for 6 days now....I am worried about finances mostly, and TIME - I work a lot, as I teach.....this is not a job that allows me to go to work 8 hours and leave my work at the job site. One cannot do this job well, and do it 8 hours a day.... I worry about taking time off from my classroom and my students, as all teachers know, they suffer with a substitute. I worry about having enough of ME to go around.....I worry about having time to breathe....and our relationship suriving this....and I feel so very selfish for even thinking any of this, when I have known all of my life I am meant to be someone's mom....I :drown:
     
  2. DATJMom

    DATJMom Well-Known Member

    Well, if you got pregnant with just one baby you would still have the whole job issue. Right? So what's one more :lol: Okay, I am joking (sort of), but give it time to set in. 6 days is not much time. My DH and I were speechless for days after finding out we were having twins. I dont really think anything can prepare you for it, even when at a higher risk when doing fertility treatments. We did IVF for both pregnancies. Hang in there. You will warm up to the idea. :hug:
     
  3. Fossie

    Fossie Well-Known Member

    I am an extreme worrier and as excited as I was to learn (after IVF) that I was expecting twins - I was also scared to death about money, childcare, continuing to work full-time, how my dh would contribute, etc. I can honestly say that all of those worries and stresses are worth it when you see your TWO sweet little babies. It can be tough and financially is a little more challenging when you are buying for two infants but it really does seem to work itself out. I agree that giving it time really will help and you will be surprised that more than anything eventually it will just seem like such a miracle that you were given two babies to love!!!
     
  4. evemomma

    evemomma Well-Known Member

    Yes, let the shock sink in and then the joy bubble through before you panic! As far as the job situation goes, that is something that every career women has to decide once the baby(ies) come. We also had infertility before my ds and for these twins...and I made the personal decision to leave my full-time job as a therapist and to work part-time so I could spend as much time with the kids I so longed for. I'm not judging others who choose differently, this is just what worked for us. It meant we had to cut down our spending A LOT...but it has been sooooo worth it to me. They are only very young for such a short period of time...my son will be 4 this summer, I can't believe it!
     
  5. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :Clap: Congrats on your twins. I was also a teacher when I got pregnant with my twins, but honestly the last thing on my mind was my students. :pardon: I had to do what was best for me and my family. And we made sure to get a great long term sub, she was actually the one I requested. :good: The class did great.

    :hug: Everything will work out.
     
  6. betha

    betha Well-Known Member

    I felt the same way, except we used IVF. I was really invested in my career and my position as a non profit director when I got pregnant. It took a while to separate, but I eventually resigned to stay home. My career is on hold right now. I still keep up with a lot of my previous employees, and I know I will return at some point. You are still in the early stage of twin acceptance. I was a mess for a few months. Scared to death! You can do it. And whatever happens with your job will end up fine. Congrats on your twins!
     
  7. timba09

    timba09 Well-Known Member

    I'm another first-time mom who conceived twins at 40 through our first IVF cycle and had them at 41. I think many of us went through the initial feelings of "YIKES...How is this all going to work out?" but it really, truly all does work out. The peace you speak of will come in time. Congrats on your twins!
     
  8. mommylaura

    mommylaura Well-Known Member

    How amazing! I think many of us FREAKED when we first found out we were having twins - don't feel bad for how you feel. I still can't really believe it, and mine are almost here! I promise you will adjust and be excited with time, but know that your feelings are totally normal.
     
  9. kcprochazka

    kcprochazka Well-Known Member

    Congratulations!!! I agree - everyone goes though the panic and anxiety when they first find out about twins. That "how can/will we handle this" is a huge worry. If you go get "What to expect when expecting twins, triplets or more" you'll see there's an entire chapter about dealing with the emotions that come with twins. But I can guarantee you that it will all work out and once you see those babies in your arms all the worry will melt away and it will feel completely normal to have 2 at once. Everything will fall into place - that's why we have 7-9 months to get used to the idea before the babies come, right?
     
  10. Kyrstyn

    Kyrstyn Well-Known Member

    Congratulations on Expecting Twins!!
     
  11. Hi there!!! I know exactly how you feel. After years of TTC, we are finally pregnant with twins as well. If I hadn't been lying down on the table during the u/s, I think I would have passed out when they told us it was twins :) BUT I truly believe that we get what we are capable of handling and am counting our double blessings. Yes, I'm sure it'll be tough. I'm sure that my career is going to suffer (hopefully just for the short-term), we are probably going to dip heavily into our savings and yes, our relationship is probably also going to be tested many many times. BUT, after going through what we have to have these babies, I am well and truly happy that they are coming into our lives. In the meantime, I'm going to do everything that I can to plan for their arrival and focus my energies on making sure that I feel ready (I don't think I'll ever actually be ready).

    Hang in there!! We're all here rooting for you and supporting you every step of the way.

    Shal
     
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