twins and singleton friends?

My new neighbors have a boy 5 and a girl almost 3. They moved here hoping for a neighborhood full of kids. Well they got it and then some LOL. Anyways, the boy wants to play more with my girl who is 9 along with his sister more than my boys (they are 4). I guess the mom and the boy are overwhelmed with my boys in her house. I can totally understand it from their situation. But now the boy never wants to play with my boys. Will it just take time for him to get used to my very active boys? I feel bad when one of my twin boys comes home crying cuz the boy did not want to play with him. I actually heard the little girl say 'i dont want to play with you rough boys...go home.' I was floored. The mom just goes along with whatever the KIDS want. Sigh....

any advice, thoughts? TIA

 

Oh gosh. I have zero advice because we aren't there yet. :hug: I know someone will have some wise words for you, though!

 

What does the little girl mean by "rough boys"? Are they just into "boy" things (trucks, sports, etc) or are they actually being physically rough? A lot of times excited little kids don't understand how strong they are and can hurt others purely by accident. Perhaps having a talk with your boys about being more gently might help?

 

I don't know if this is a "singleton friend" issue so much as an issue between your kids and that particular family. As a parent of more timid and tentative kids, I can see how your boys might be overwhelming for the 3yo girl. (My girls are that way around even one older kid, especially if he or she is more physically vigorous than they are.) The older boy is harder to understand, but maybe he is just not as rough by nature (and also, he's used to playing with a younger sister).

Could you try having the boy over to your house a few times and really closely supervising their play? This would bring things more under your control (as opposed to the other mom's), and also help you see where things might be going wrong between the kids. Good luck! It's so nice to have neighbors with kids the same age, I really hope you can work it out.

 

My boys are very well behaved at other houses (as I am told unless EVERYONE is lying to me LOL). They are just two boys who are 4 and very active and outgoing. Nothing rough at all just loud and spirited. Nothing inappropriate. Might just me the family. Good point. I have had both kids at my house a few times but again the boy gets overwhelmed with the activeness of my boys. He has only been around his little sister (his mom says home with them) most of the time. She is much more outgoing than him.

Ok just wondered in general if this happens to any other Moms of active twins - boys or girls or both?

 

My guys are extremely active and outgoing. They sound a lot like your boys. I would say that your neighbor boy just isn't use to playing with active kids. I would just talk to your own boys about trying to play with other kids in the neighborhood. Maybe the little neighbor boy will come around at some point.

 

Sounds like your boys would get along great in my family. I have a house full of active and loud boys. The other boy is probably just more quite and maybe a little sheltered from other little boys. It may get better over time. Or maybe once they are in school, the other little boy will get used to other types of personalities.
My concern would be what the other mom is allowing her children to say to yours. I wouldn't want my children to start feeling bad for just being themselves. It would be different if they were actually doing something wrong.
Maybe you could try to find a common bond between the boys, like crafts or a particular game. Something that is more subdued to draw the other little boy in and in your territory so you can observe.

 

This has happened to me only from the neighbor mom's perspective. There is a neighbor boy who I can hardly stand to have in our house. It's not that he behaves badly, I just can't handle the speed he ticks at. My girls play okay with him outside, but if he ever comes inside, it's usually a matter of minutes before one of my girls is crying and I'm totally stressed and even shaking. He's like an esspresso I didn't want to drink.

Is there a playground in your neighborhood? Has the weather been good for playing outside? I would suggest they focus on playing with the neighbor kids in games and things that are normally done with a lot of energy, riding tricycles, playing red light green light, climbing on the jungle gym, kicking around a ball. That way the kids can all get to know each other and the neighbors will not be overwealmed by the amount of energy that your boys bring into their "tranquil retreat" (which is how I see my house).

 

This is great advice. I can relate too. My kids are really quiet and mellow. They do not like to be around rough and rowdy kids. We have some friends that we are involved in EVERYTHING with (school, church, soccer, Y-guides, etc.). Well the boys just DON'T click. My Ben is quiet, cautious, very observant, etc. This other boy is a fireball: talkative, rambunctious, curious, etc. They just don't jive. And no matter how much we push it, the kids most likely are not going to be best buddies. So when we have this boy over, we ONLY play outside. I have to monitor everything. Or we go somewhere together, like the beach, park, etc. But to leave the boys to their own devices, no way. Ben can't stand it!