twins + a singleton question

for those with twins first, and then a singleton, did you feel like your singleton was very easy as compared to the twins?
i will be alone for the most part with my twins and the 'new' singleton when he or she decides to be 'made' and i am wondering if that is going to be ok. i will have help at night but what are my twins going to be like when they are around 2.5? i feel like i only know up to 21 months so i am wondering if i'll be able to handle the day with a new baby.

thanks for the advice, ladies :grouphug:

eta - im also wondering if i'll be able to get out of the house? lol? im assuming i'll wear the new baby in a sling and push my twins but wasn't sure if there were better methods. will my LOs still sit in a stroller?

 

Yes a singleton is much easier after twins. Our girls were 21 months when #3 came along. I still got out a lot. At first all 3 were in the stroller. The heavier twin in the front, baby in the back and the lighter twin sat on top by the handle.They learned how to walk safely beside the stroller early on. We have #4 set to arrive in the fall. #3 will be 20 months. I still plan on going out. The twins will be 3 and 1/2 so preschool 2 mornings a week will make it a little easier. Good luck.

 

They will be sane around 2.5. Singletons are easier in the amount of work you have to do. However, there are still hard single babies. I think wearing the baby in a sling is a good idea or you could look into getting a double stroller with a rumble seat. We haven't even thought about what to do for a stroller when we decide to get pregnant again.

 

I have the oppisite a 2.5 yr old and twins that are one year old...It is hard to get out of the house so prepare for trips to target (very short)
maybe or short trips in the car and as far as going grocery shopping or doing errands you usually have to do it seperatly in order to get things done. Its difficult but my situation is 3 under 3 so it may be alot easier for you having the oppisite and spaced out a bit more. Good luck! Its crazy!!!

 

Yours will be more spaced out than mine so hopefully it will be easier for you. My twins are 21 months older than my singleton. It has been hard to get out. We do go for walks quite a bit and have been to the park a few times with no other adults. Really, it is a safety issue for me that I don't want to be alone with all 3 out at many public places. Ages 1.5-3 is a prime time for kids taking off running. It is also a huge pain to get 3 kids in and out of car seats. I do most of my shopping when I have a babysitter here or after the kids go to bed. It's just so much more peaceful that way. Good luck trying for #3! That's very exciting!

 

This is very true. I only have one this time but he is a difficult one that doesn't like to sleep! Having 3 is way harder than I imagined it would be. I love them so much, but it is so very difficult with 3 little ones.

 

whats a rumble seat? i have a bumbleride indie twin.

eta - i found this joovy stroller, too.

thank you for the advice. it makes me very nervous to have a difficult singleton. my twins weren't too bad as little peanuts. maybe i just dont remember because it was merely survival, lol?

 

http://valcobaby.com/products/strollers/model/tri-mode-ex-twin.html

You can buy another seat that attaches to the front to add more children. Several strollers do this. Bumbleride does it for one of their single strollers but not for the double (from what I have seen). I've considered attempting to sell my doubles for a valco if we ever have another. I could double up the twins and put the baby into the other side either in an infant seat or sitting alone.

 

I was the opposite. My singleton was 2 when the boys were born. Donevan, my oldest was the BEST baby, so easy. The twins, I had one VERY easy baby and one VERY high needs baby, he still is high needs at almost 15 months. I went out from very early on, I needed to for my sanity. It can be done. You can have an easy singleton, or a hard one. Every baby is different. Now that being said, when my oldest is at daycare and I only have the twins, it's the EASIEST days ever!

 

AIMEE!! You're SCARING ME!! LOL.

Were your twins easy? See.. my boys BOTH had colic TERRIBLY until 14 weeks and it was TERRIBLE! I'm thinking that in comparison.. this will be soo much easier. IF he/she doesn't have it, too!

Why is it soo hard? Can you explain? LOL.

Also, mine will be four the same week this one comes so, will I be okay? HA HA. You can see I'm SCARED TO DEATH cuz my boys are already hard on me!

 

My girls were super easy. I read all the baby sleep training books and they followed everything the experts said they would do. My girls spit up, but after I switched them to AR formula that stopped. My new baby never spits up a drop. None of them had colic. But even though you only have 1 baby the second time it's not like you only have 1 child. Sure, if you only had 1 infant and you knew what it was like to have 2 infants, you'd think it was a breeze. But the reality is you have 3 very young children to care for. There is always someone who needs mommy. I'm sure it doesn't help that my girls are 3 and 3 is the worst age so far as far as behavior goes! Right now it seems like there isn't enough time for DH and I to get done everything we need to get done in a day, and every time he's off work we're both taking shifts watching children so the other can get things done. It's tough. It's also tough to be up all night with a baby that doesn't sleep and then get up with your twins in the morning for the day. My girls only take 1 nap in the afternoon, so if DH is at work and I'm up 10 times in the night with a baby who is crying I still have to get up for the day at 7 am with the twins and stay awake until nap time. And then I might still not get to nap b/c there's no telling if I'll get the baby to nap at the same time when I get the girls to nap. The girls get in to a lot more things now, b/c I am so distracted with the baby and they know it. So while I'm doing something for him (nursing, bathing, rocking, etc) they have gotten into my fridge and spilled things, gotten into my coffee grinds and spread those out all over the floor, they've played in the toilet more times than I'd like to admit, etc. My girls never got up more than twice a night from birth. They were just really good sleepers I guess. This baby rarely goes more than 3 hours at a time even now at almost 11 weeks old and some nights he's up looking for food every 90 minutes. He also doesn't like to nap. I can not put him to nap in his crib during the day - he just won't do it! He has to either sleep on me or in the swing. He doesn't even fall asleep in the car, believe it or not.

I guess the thing I'm finding so difficult is trying to divide my time between 3 very young children who all need so much from me. For example, every time I bathe the girls I just have to let the baby cry the whole time, b/c I have no other choice. My girls need a bath. Evenings are the most difficult time of the day for everyone and my husband works nights sometimes, so it winds up being a whole lot of crying, sometimes from all 4 of us!

I'm sure it will get easier as they get older, and I'm not saying that I regret having him or anything, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be.

 

OH yeah, I have blocked out the 3 are hard thing. Denial is the best way to deal with it. Agree with everything PP have said. With 3, you really don't get time off. Nap time? Oh yeah, your older one needs attention/food/love. Bed time when they are all in bed? Hubby wants attention. I am going back to denial land.

People might hate me for this but I have pretty easy kids. They sleep, they eat enough for them, and they can communicate their needs. I am still exhausted every night I go to bed and I am usually in bed by 9pm. 3 small ones wears you out no matter how easy they are. My husband is very hands on and does a full 50% of the work so I can't blame that either.

That being said, I love all 3 of them and they make every moment worth it so despite my threats, I am not selling any of them.

 

Thanks for starting this thread. I am newly (9 weeks) pregnant with a singleton (hopefully), and am due when my twins will be 27 months old (so will have 3 under 2 1/2). I am anxious and excited for what it is going to be like. I currently look after another little girl during the week, so am used to having 3 little ones around, but not a newborn and 2 in the terrible twos. It is good to read what others have to say about similar experiences (both good and bad) so as to be prepared. I am looking forward to having a new little one, but am worried how much extra work it will be and how I will cope. When it comes to sleeping I had one pretty easy twin, and one who was/is a lot harder to deal with. I am really hoping this new baby will be like my easier twin.I also hope that my twins who are great nappers now (one afternoon nap but often 2+hours) will continue to have that nap so I will have some time to nap myself or to spend with the new baby. Any advice anyone has is appreciated!

 

FOr al those that are going to have/do have 3 under 3, I am in that group, I make sure that in the afternoon they ALL nap at the same time. When the twins were born, Donevan was 24 months, so I tried to make sure that in the afternoon I Had at least an hour where they all slept. Now with D being 3 and the boys almost 15 months, they all go down at the same time for nap, and all relatively get up at the same time. 2.5-3 hrs of quiet. For bed time, they are all in bed by 7:30. I am single so I dont have a DH to give attention too, so the night is ALL mine!

 

We have three under two and I agree, it's a ton of work and it only stops once everyone is in bed - and then, as PP said, I crash and fall asleep at 9pm. For me, the key is a tight schedule and safe play areas for the twins while I tend to the baby. For us, most of the day works okay, the only real crunch time is bath/bed time for the baby. She's a great sleeper but has real trouble falling asleep (sometimes takes 40min to settle her), so that is hard when I'm all by myself. I'd be curious to hear other parents' solution for those times when you (physically) have your hands full with the baby and the twins also need stuff (diaper change, food, loving, etc.).
That all being said, it's sooo worth it. The boys love the baby, the baby smiles every time she sees them, so that makes up for the non-stop work!

 

My twins were 21 months when the new baby was born. I thought the JOOVY was a great idea too so we bough it. Needless to say Ive used it a handful of times and we are selling it!
Its HUGE so unless you drive like a pick-up truck that you can put it in the back of, goodluck! Its also very heavy and HARD to steer. I wouldn't recommend it. I found it better once I invested in a quality carrier (the ergo) an either carried the baby in that or one of the twins on my back.

Last summer (when the baby was around 6 months) the twins would still ride in a stroller, but now that they just turned 3 we've switched to a single stroller for the baby only. Thers no way the twins will ride.
I was terrified when we had them all that close= but its worked out great for our family!

 

If/when we have a #3 I plan on using an Ergo carrier. My boys rarely use the stroller anymore. That slowed down significantly around 2.5 yrs old. Now one wants to ride in the shopping cart and the other walks well next to me. I'm glad we've waited a bit though. At 3.5 right now (and not yet preggo) my boys would be a huge help. Yes, they still need a lot of lap time, but they are much better at following directions and being good listeners. My boys were horrible sleepers and ate every 3 hours for the first 6 months. I'm not sure that I've had a month yet (probably more like 2 weeks straight) that I have been able to sleep through the night w/out one of the boys being up. I would hope the next one would be a good eater and sleeper, but if not, it's not like I've fallen out of the habit! I think the best part of my boys being older is that they are potty trained!

I think that no matter what, you'll learn to handle it. Just think, how did you think you would be able to handle twins? You just do!