Twin training dilemma

We've sort of been informally potty training for a while with limited success, but I decided to step up to a more consistent reward system as incentive now that they seem to be more aware of when they have to go potty. Austin is no problem, he goes to the potty and gets his spiderman sticker and m&m and is pretty good about it all. However, Miles is a little more gun shy about the whole thing and every time he sees Austin getting his reward he has a meltdown. I am sure in his mind I am punishing him, when all I am doing is not rewarding him. Any suggestions? Should I just reward him for sitting on the potty at all for a while and then step it down as he starts to actually go in the potty more?

Also.. what is the point of pullups? Are they necessary? Should I just pick a point in the near future and try the 3 day underwear method instead?

 

Pull ups are diapers that are easy for the little one to pull up and down. I always used gerber cloth training pants myself. We never really did reward systems/charts. The twins loved getting their nickels but they were on the same page and I can see where it would be frustrating for one if the other is 'getting it' and he is not.

 

I think in the beginning it helps to reward them for whatever small thing they're doing that is a step in the right direction. So, if all Miles is able to do right now is sit on the potty - give him a reward every time he does it! Once he starts actually peeing/pooping in the potty, explain that to get the reward now he has to actually pee/poop & phase out the reward for just sitting, etc.

I agree with Jackie - pull ups are just diapers that are easy for them to get on/off themselves. That being said, we always referred to pull ups as underwear & treated them as if they were underwear. When we first started potty training, we put the girls in pull ups when we went out, for naps & overnight. Any time they needed to use the potty during nap or over night though, pull up or not, I got up with them to use the potty so that it reinforced the idea that pull ups were undies. We phased out the pull ups for outings within a few weeks when I saw that they were doing really well with staying dry. We kept pull ups for naps/bedtime for a long time though.

You can always give the 3 day method a go & see how they do. We never did an official 3 days, but once it seemed clear that the girls were ready & interested in pottying, I used a lot of the 3 day ideas (ie giving them extra fluids so they felt the urge to pee more often, no pull ups [although we kind of cheated on this one. I was prepared to ditch them entirely though if we'd run into any pull ups/undies confusion], reminding them to tell me when they need to use the potty [rather than asking if they need to use the potty], and praising them whenever I "caught" them clean & dry, etc).

Good luck! :good:

 

I had two kids that PT-ed very differently and at different times. My DD did wonderful with pull ups, she did treat them as underwear and she was fine with them. My DS, who was more difficult to PT wasn't ready at the same time as his sister and therefore did not earn treats when she did (and vice versa, because when he trained finally, she was done and we phased out treats for her). I felt like for him, if I gave him the stickers and M&M's for humoring me and sitting on the potty but doing nothing, it would reinforce the idea that he wouldn't have to do anything to earn an incentive, his sister would do the work for him.
I do say this with love about my son, but he can be lazy when he wants to and if his sister can do something for him, he's all over that. Your boys might be different and giving them both an incentive even when one goes and the other tries might be the charm for the other one to start going. My son did have a few meltdowns when she got something that he didn't but he was told each time that because she went on the potty this is what she gets and when he goes on the potty, he will get the same.
We did do the 3 day method with him and I will say that he was not PT-ed in 3 days but by day 4, he was dry during his awake times and telling us he had to go. It took a little longer for him to be dry at nap and night time. He was also our child who was a holder, so we did not do pull ups at nap or night time, so I would lay a mattress protector down, then the sheet, then two towels and chux pad on top of his bed. This was so we would not have sheets to change in the middle of the night and would only have to change a chux pad and some towels and him too.
Good luck!

 

I give it a week before DD's reward chart is finished and I take her to buy a toy. His still has 0 stickers on it. Totally expecting a melt down but heck... tough luck buddy.

 

Miles isn't so much lazy as stubborn. That kid is never going to do anything he doesn't feel 100% ready for. Which probably means that once he wants to potty train it will take no time at all, but he'll need a big push and lots of encouragement to get there. I still don't want to reward him for things that he's not doing though, but maybe for now stickers for just sitting on the potty are enough to get him moving in the right direction. Oh twins! Always good for a surprise or two.

 

I had two sets of stickers. One for sitting and trying (littler stickers) and one for going (fancy big princess stickers!). My girls trained within a few weeks of each other, but my stubborn girl (who always likes her staff to work for her ), got stickers for sitting and trying. My girl who trained first exploited this system a bit because she would just sit for the "fun of it" to get more and more and more stickers. I thought this whole system would blow up in my face, but actually it was very easy to phase out once they were trained. All it took was buying two packages of special big girl character undies of their choice as their reward.

As for pull ups, we used them for naps and bedtime for awhile (and sometimes for long car trips). Now 2 years later I still have left over pull ups in my van that I use to line the little potty for the times when we are someplace without facilities.