Twin Toddlers & a newborn

I know MANY of you have had twin toddlers and a newborn- now I want to know, how did you/do you manage?
My husband went back to work 4 days ago...the twins are almost 22 months and the new baby is 10 days old. For the most part she is sleeping well at night so that part hasnt been too terrible- despite the fact that Im pumping and we have to bottle feed etc and its time consuming we are still managing OK on the sleep we are getting.

The problem is during the day. I dont know if its the baby, or they are hitting the terrible 2's early? or maybe they just have cabin fever but they are into EVERYTHING! I feel like I dont have time to eat, drink or pee! They are getting into drawers they've never touched before so now my DH needs to add more locks. They are throwing balls at the Christmas tree despite the superyard being placed around it. They have started jumping off the couch, hitting & pinching one another, pulling all the wipes out of the container, and they can do all these things in less than a blink of my eye!

Yesterday I accidentally dropped the house phone in the toilet, today we broke a glass candle holder in the bathroom- I was trying to do DDs hair and DS was supposed to be in time out- I was yelling at him to go back to time out when her foot swung around and knocked the candle holder over and it broke. Things are just crazy.

Right now Im hooked up to my pump typing, the kids are locked in their highchairs eating (or throwing food on the floor) and the baby has just begun fussing!

How long does it take to get a routine? When did your house go back to normal? The baby is a GREAT baby and I feel like Im drowning here. DH was happy with 2 kids, I would have liked 4- we now have 3 and I think this is my limit! Im so overwhelmed. My mom gets here Saturday for 2 weeks and I CAN NOT WAIT!!!!!

ahh thanks for letting me vent!

 

My twins were almost 3 when Evan was born. Evan was just such a great sleeper from the start that he wasn't up for very long (feeding) before he'd be back down to sleep. I was lucky. The twins have always had full access to the house and I worried that they'd get in to the fridge when I was busy. I even had dh pick up some locks.. which we never did install. I know that when you are attached to the pump, you are stuck. I remember pumping (after Evan decided not to nurse anymore) and dh setting him down near me (14 months old). He of course wanted my attention and there was no way I could pump and give him the attn. he wanted. Stick to a schedule with the new baby as much as possible. I never rocked my kids to sleep much to my mother's dismay. Evan was able to be put down awake for naps and he'd fall asleep :shok: . I was amazed! Talk to your twins and tell them what is going on as much as possible. Go over the 'rules' with them over and over again. Try not to yell or make them blame the new baby for lack of attention. :hug: I know you need a break and when it was only the twins, you could take a nap while they napped. I hope the twins are still napping and you can get the baby to nap at the same time. Peace & quiet! I hope that you can start nursing soon. have you got a surgery date yet?

 

I really have no advice but just wanted to say HUGS!!! I bet the twins are feeling the presence of the new baby and maybe trying to get your attention in new ways?? I hope it gets better for you soon!

On a side note...my bestfriends mom had 4 kids...she said by the time the chaos of three kids is present, a fourth really isn't any different, ha. I don't know about that, but thats what she says.

 

:hug: Jess!

They sound like 2-year-olds....I know that doesn't make anything easier. I'm sure they are "acting out"s omewhat because of the changes at home - Mommy is suddenly not just their mommy, but a new baby's mommy too and they are having to share you. I can't imagine how challenging it must feel for you - as Lennon was 3.5 when the babies were born and I thought I was drowning for a looong time.

I also think that 3 kids really can add an element of chaos, especially when they are young. I've had many women with grown children say that they really struggled when their 3rd child came along. There aren't enough hands, adults, or hours in the day.

:hug:, it will get better. It will!!! :hug:

 

:hug: It does sound like they are being typical almost two year olds, we're dealing with the same thing around here. It can be so frustrating! :headbang:
My youngest is 9 months and I think we really got into a routine around 4 months. But as you know routines change so I think we're on our 3rd. My youngest is so so easy, so I tend to go off of the twins routine and adjust Ethans to them.
Things will get better and time flies! Enjoy these precious times with the little one, but make sure that you make some special time with the twins as well.
:grouphug: I felt like the first couple months I never had a break, and I honestly don't think I did LOL but that feels like forever ago and now I get at least a 2 hour break once a day for nap time. GL!!

 

No real advice, since I can only imagine where you are. But a good article I read said that exercise is the key. Kids need to work out their energy. IKEA has some good indoor climbing things, like a rope ladder, etc. They look pretty safe, fun and cheap. And my girls love the $10 IKEA tent we got them. It's their little cave. Also, I'm a big fan on my Ergo and have heard good things about a Mai Tai too. Your 10 day old may be too little for those, but a Moby would work. You could carry and nurse the babe, while walking around with both hands free!

Is there anything you can do to nurse instead of pumping? That would free up a lot of time.

Keep it going, momma, one day at a time. Glad your mom's coming into town!

:youcandoit:

 

I wish! This is only hard because she was born with a soft cleft palate and is currently unable to nurse! Otherwise life would be golden Im convinced! It takes me a lot of time to both pump and feed her.
The cleft palate team in our town doesnt like to do the repair until age 1, so we are looking into cleft palate teams in other locations. 6 months would probably be the earliest for her surgery so until then we just have to figure it out.

 

Well all you are describing is exactly what my kids are doing... so yes, unfortunately yours sound normal to me! And one of the reasons I don't do time outs, they get in trouble together and I would never be able to keep them in time out at the same time (that or the other one would get in trouble while I take care of one).

I can't even imagine having a newborn too. Ack. You are one courageous woman.

 

:hug: s

 

You are my hero. Wow. I am a huge breastfeeding supporter / advocate. Every bit of breast milk you get your little one is awesome!!!

Keep up the good work, moment to moment. Maybe your twins could get out of the house occasionally for a music class, baby yoga, something. Even if you're in the back of the room pumping, it would be a good outing for everyone.

 

I really sympathize Jess... My two turned into a nightmare when Caleb was born, esp. Hannah, who started hitting, biting, etc. It took her a good 4 mo. to get back to normal. She thankfully took it out on me and the other adults mostly instead of Caleb and Sarah. The third really was so tough, esp. since you have to be spread so thin emotionally. At least with twinfants you can focus down on one developmental stage at a time. All I can say is hugs to you, You WILL get thru this an feel soooo much better, but it's a long road. Pumping is so great, and I really admire you for it... I would'nt know how to handle that on top of everything, but I know when I was going thru the hard times I just kept repeating to myself how women all over the world do this job every day and get thru it and even if they don't do it perfectly, their sweet LO's still come out ok (most times, not talking about the extreme fringe cases).
One suggestion I have is maybe look into a program called "talking to toddlers" Its a series of downloadable 15 minute lessons on persuasion and getting your little ones to behave without them knowing you're trying to get them to do something (otherwise, make them think that what you want them to do was their idea and get them to cooperate with less tears and fighting). I loved this program because it was so easy to listen to in small doses, the suggestions were really something new I never thought of doing myself, and they really worked with Hannah, who is my strong willed girl. You can listen while you pump, and you really do see results the first day. I'm not kidding. Just a thought. If you look it up (google) it's called "talking to toddlers".
Hope you find answers you need soon. Hang in there, and pm me if you ever need to vent!

 

Jess, :hug: for you. I wish I had advice to make it easier but I don't. I just know that mine will act up and act out the minute they do not have my undivided attention, I cannot imagine how they would be with a new baby. I think this is just all new to them...plus being active 2 year olds, they are going to test your limits just because they can. Plus, a new baby is an adjustment for them, they had all of your attention before and now they have to share you with someone else.
:youcandoit: Momma! Hang tough until your Mom comes to help out!

 

Jess, I have no advice for you but I just wanted to say that I think you are doing an amazing job! Right now you are being the best mommy you can be to them all and they all love you for it. I am pretty sure you will get into a new routine but for now I think you just have to take it day by day and once one day is over, regroup and move on to the next. I'm sorry to hear about Kennedy's cleft palate, I work as a pediatric RN and we typically do repairs around 9 months here in Alberta. Big :hug:

 

I SERIOUSLY cannot even imagine. I can't.

Will say a HUGE prayer for you

Stay strong!

 

One.Day.At.A.Time.

I'll PM you when I have a moment....LOL! Don't sit by the computer waiting! HA!

As someone who has just gone through it(and continues to do so), it gets easier. And it's a lot of fun-really-it is!

 

Hi Jess. My twins were 19 months old when my DS was born and my DS is now 19 months old with this new baby girl. It's craziness. It's entirely overwhelming and I cried so many times after my DS was born completely overwhelmed with dealing with the 3 kids and then having to actually clean the house. Yikes. One of the first things that I did was COMPLETELY toddler proof the house. I blocked off the kitchen and made sure that everything that they had access too was safe and acceptable. I put a basket full of toys in every room and would shut us all into one room while I nursed. I used TV as a babysitter a couple times a day to get basic things done, like the dishes or laundry or dinner. I think what really saved my sanity, though, was getting out of the house every day. Call me crazy but I piled all the kids into the car 5 days a week and went to the mall before it opened and we walked laps around the mall for an hour. I gave the kids a snack in their stroller and baby bjorned my DS and walked with a friend. I also try to make sure that my house is clean before I go to bed so that I wake up ready to entertain the kids and enjoy them instead of feeling so overwhelmed with all that needs to be done and freaking out cause I have no clue how I was going to do it. Give yourself time. Consider yourself in survival mode.