Twin specific daycare questions

I'm once again looking for daycare for my 17 mo old boys. This will be daycare #4 since they started at 9 weeks old. I've left previous centers for various reasons, including staff lying, lack of communication, cleanliness issues, nap issues, feeding issues, etc etc etc. Our current center is run by 2 people we really liked & trusted, but we're starting to have issues. The promises they have made are not happening (or not fast enough), there is lack of stimulation & curriculum, & the management is downright horrible...causing our favorite teachers to get jobs elsewhere. DH & I are thinking it's time to pull out & find somewhere new. Unfortunately, finding part time daycare for 2 toddlers is next to impossible & affording full time for 2 toddlers is also next to impossible . While I hate to sacrifice care due to cost, it has come down to that slightly.

I'm touring new centers & bombarding them with questions (I'm learning as I go!). However, I got to wondering if there are any twin-specific questions I should be asking. My boys are still young, so being coined 'the twins' or sharing cubbies or stuff like that doesn't bother them. Are those things I should be asking about for as they get older (ie separate cubbies, not being referred to as 'the twins' but by their names, etc)? Are there other things I should be asking? The centers I'm looking at are all based on ages, so I won't have to worry about the boys being split due to maturity or skill level. I'm also hoping that the new center we go with will be one we can STAY at for good, so I've started asking more questions about the infant rooms, too. Are there any questions I should be asking about the 2 boys AND an infant?

I feel lost, betrayed, & deeply saddened to be going through this again. The thought of uprooting my boys another time breaks my heart. Each transition is harder & harder. However, with them losing their favorite teachers now, even in their current center we're bound to see big changes. I just want to make sure I'm asking ALL the right questions to ensure that the center we choose will be a perfect fit & that they can stay there until they go to school!

Any input would be helpful! Thanks!

 

Have you ever thought about in home daycare? My sister does that and have had people stay until their children go to kindergarten and then even continue for either aftercare or for days off from school. Now she even has siblings of those children. Most of the children are ahead when they enter kinder. because she does work with them when they turn around 2 yrs old.
Just a thought. I know it doesn't work for everyone.

 

Andrea - I am so sorry you are going through this again. :hug: I've been through it twice myself and now I've finally changed my schedule and pulled them out of FT daycare. I am currently interviewing for pt babysitter two days a week and that has proved to be very challenging also.

I think there are a few things I learned from my daycare experience that you may very well already know, but I thought I would throw them out there just in case:

How do the do nap time/quiet time? What is the schedule for this?

How do they do meals/snacks? What does the center provide? An example of a snack?

How often do they get to go outside or play inside (our last daycare had a gymnasium that they had recess in when it was cold or rainy - this was a huge plus)?

What is their philosophy for discipline? I would ask the center and the individuals in the room.

What is their turnover rate or how long have the ladies in the rooms been there? They might even have bios on them.

Twin specific - they need their own space, cubby, mats, and using their names is important! You don't call them "the twins" - right? So why should their caregivers?

You could ask if they have any other twins in the center or experience with twins?

I hope you find the perfect place for them and it all works out easily for you. I would definitely look at the infant rooms as well if you are planning to have another LO soon.

Good luck!!

 

PP has a good idea if you have some way to find them. Our state has licensed in home care providers on the state website. I had trouble trying to find room in an in-home for two at once.

I have been using care.com to find a babysitter/nanny type person and I have come across a number of ladies that use the website to find children to watch in their home. Many of them had great references and child care history.

 

Maybe an au pair or nanny----or home care. When we looked at centers (they are not in childcare, but were briefly when I worked) I decided that most 'big' centers could not meet my girls needs (mild health concerns & very different personalities) and were too 'one size fits all' approach to age brackets (concerning PT, sensory stimulation, naps, food, etc). We went with a Montessori school--- and were REALLY happy. All the staff had been there for 3+ years, they were willing to accomodate my girls needs, and were very much 'avoiding' twin syndrome (that they do the same thing, share space, etc)--they treated them like any other sibling group.

If that had not panned out- We would have gone to a small home care or an au pair if needed.

My best advice is visit, ask for reccomendations,look up in your states licensing info for complaints, and take your list of questions!

 

I'm sorry you're having to go through this again. I just wanted to chime in that I haven't run up against any twin-specific issues in our daycare. I did ask that people try not to refer to them as "the twins" (even when they were babies) -- I know it happened sometimes, but they did try to remember not to do it.

Now that they're in preschool, the teachers are even more insistent than I am on giving them their individuality -- for instance, it was the teachers' idea to put them in different "small groups" (they break the class in half for certain activities) so they could have some time away from each other. I wouldn't have even thought of this, but apparently Sarah (my less-dominant twin) has really thrived on it.

As far as sharing cubbies, etc., I would think most daycare centers have a rule that there needs to be a cubby (and a sleeping mat, etc.) for each child, so that should not be a problem. In fact I've had to frequent remind my kids' teachers that the girls can share things like diaper cream, extra clothes, etc. -- they're just not used to thinking of anything as being communal.

Good luck!

 

QUOTE(*Sully* @ Jan 5 2009, 12:35 PM) [snapback]1133659[/snapback]
Twin specific - they need their own space, cubby, mats, and using their names is important! You don't call them "the twins" - right? So why should their caregivers?

You could ask if they have any other twins in the center or experience with twins?

I hope you find the perfect place for them and it all works out easily for you. I would definitely look at the infant rooms as well if you are planning to have another LO soon.

Good luck!!

I totally agree with this. My boys have their own cubbies, coat hooks, bins, mats, etc. I think it's nice to be together but they also need to be treated as individuals.

 

Do not feel dishearted. The idea on finding one "place" is great and a good goal. But, you may find the place will change as they get older and that your/their wants change. I was going to suggest a nanny if doable and/or an in home daycare that has a curriculum.

Treating them as individuals from day one is important (after all you did not go through all the trouble to think up two names if you did not want people to use them!) Cubbies, at that age is not that big of deal (to me) it means all the stuff is together when you pick them up. But, as they get older it is important. They are two people and should be treated that way. Kind of like the old "who's older question" if they just happened to be two kids from seperate families born on the same day you would not ask them for a time stamp to see "who is older" you would not ask two ramdom two year olds to share a cubby! (I hate that question!)

Good luck it is such a difficult decision.

 

I'm a student and use the campus daycare since it can accomadate the strange schedule I have to keep some terms. One thing that they did, without my prompting them, was treat my children as individuals. Yes, they are "the twins" but they are SO much more than that. They have their own cubbies, their own change of clothes, their own back packs and lunch boxes. They need that. They aren't just a set of twins. They are little people with their own personalities. I'm fortunate that this is a teaching situation where the students use the developement center as a lab and that there are teachers that have been there for ten to fifteen years. They pay their full time staff very well, so they have a low attrition rate.

On a side note, I mentioned lunch boxes because I've had to use the center during two terms where meals weren't provided. Summer term, the school district that provides the meals, provides food that the teachers were appalled to serve. The center elected to provide snacks that term and asked parents to pack nutritious lunches for the kids. For winter session, I'm taking a night class and have to provide dinner for the kids but again, the center provides snacks. Also, they are very willing to accomadate my needs as well as my kids. My class is two days a week and ends at their bed time one night and a couple of hours later the other night. The kids will be in PJ's, have brushed teeth and pull ups on when I arrive to take them home. On those two nights, we can come in the house and do tuck in's right away. Not all providers are willing to take those extra steps. When I decided to use the campus center, that is what made the decision for me, the willingness to do a little extra for my kids and me.

 

QUOTE(nurseandrea02 @ Jan 5 2009, 11:21 AM) [snapback]1133641[/snapback]
The centers I'm looking at are all based on ages, so I won't have to worry about the boys being split due to maturity or skill level.


Although our daycare levels are based mainly on age, moving up from one room to the next is also based on availabilty. I ran into a "twins-specific problem" at our daycare when there was only one space available in the next room. You might want to to make sure that they will find a way to accommodate moving two up at once, even if two spots don't become available at the exact same time.

Good luck! Hopefully you will find a good place. It is so wonderful to know and trust that your kids are being well cared for while you aren't with them.

 

We had the same problem as PP with the availability. My two ended up getting moved up early becuase of availability, but they did accomodate us. There were days that one of them would have to go back to the toddler room depending on teacher/student ratio, but it wasn't a big deal. They also split them up into different 'groups' though they are in the same classroom.

one thing I had a serious problem with with the first daycare we used was that they wanted them in seperate rooms entirely, at 6 months old. I refused, saying they needed to be in the same classroom until they were old enough to tell us different. I really like that they're in the same classroom, but belong to different 'groups' so that they are together, but still get their alone time, so to speak...