twin moms can just deal...

I have a neighbor who has a little guy the same age as my girls and occassionally we go on walks, hang out in the yard when its nice, have little play dates, etc... Whenever one my girls is fussy or crying a little, she's always quick to pick her up or ask what's wrong - usually when I can't get to her right away and usually its just general fussiness nothing major. It makes me think about how, as a twin mom, you're less anxious about a fussy baby (with time) and you learn to recognize when they really need to be picked up or soothed and it's time to drop everyone (well not the other twin) and address the situation and when you can let them fuss a little. Obviously this comes with time, I know we're all anxious at first, but it's just interesting when you start to notice those differences.

 

I can see this. There are times that the boys may just be making noise and sounds to hear themselves and I have a friend that every time she is here she asks if they are ok. Her DD is 3 and so maybe she doesn't remember baby sounds but I have to tell no they are ok. But it's funny I can't tell the difference between the two of them. I do not know who is who just from their sounds but I can tell you if it is a I just need to make a sound or mommy I need you.

 

Id say compare to moms of singletons, if its thier first baby and its your first two theres quite a few differences. I think I was alot more lax than alot of first time moms just because Idont have the option to hold everyone all the time, or feed everyone at the same time. Right off the bat everyone has to share time and have patience. without it Id lose my mind. Afterall there are 2 of them and 1 of me. You really have to pick your battles

 

lol my DH and were just going through this conversation today. i hate to hear them cry and will pick them up as soon as they go from fussing to starting to cry. i love that they want and need to be close to me and that being so is calming to them. DH on the other hand has issue with this. He believes they need to learn to self soothe ( at 28 days old ) and wants me to let them cry for up to 10 minutes. Maybe letting them do so does come with time. Right now it just breaks my heart to hear them sob like ive abandoned them and since i dont think its possible to spoil a newborn, i hold them because its what they need right now.


Kenneth and Ian are 28 days old

 

Ooh, I've just now started letting the girls fuss for us to 15 minutes. And they're four and half months old!

 

Mine are 10 days away from turning one and they are well into separation anxiety. DD is horrendous lately and its because we have just had family to stay so they´ve had constant attention. I can tell if mine are fussing as they can be easily distracted. Also the tearless crying is another clue! I always tell them "Im one and you are two" but it can be hard when they both want me at the same time! Agh!

 

QUOTE(E&Msmom @ May 18 2009, 01:40 AM) [snapback]1317676[/snapback]
Id say compare to moms of singletons, if its thier first baby and its your first two theres quite a few differences. I think I was alot more lax than alot of first time moms just because Idont have the option to hold everyone all the time, or feed everyone at the same time. Right off the bat everyone has to share time and have patience. without it Id lose my mind. Afterall there are 2 of them and 1 of me. You really have to pick your battles


That is SO true! DH and I have talked about that ... and what a contrast we are to his BFF and his wife, who are total helicopter parents.

And OP, now that you mention it, I've experienced the same thing! Just hadn't thought about it before.

 

QUOTE(SC_Amy @ May 18 2009, 07:49 AM) [snapback]1317891[/snapback]
That is SO true! DH and I have talked about that ... and what a contrast we are to his BFF and his wife, who are total helicopter parents.


helicopter parents! ha! :laughing:

i was at a meeting the other day at which there were several babies under the age of 6 months (all singletons) and i noticed a couple of things along those lines. the number of times a baby got popped onto a boob for under a minute because they were fussing was amazing to me - and then i realized that i usually have to believe the girls are really hungry to go to the trouble of assuming the position, so to speak, otherwise it's more work to nurse them than it is to soothe them in some other way. i also noticed when we were getting ready to leave, one of the babies was fussy & she would whine every time her mom put her in her car seat & then her mom would pick her up every time - when my girls start whining, i figure the best thing i can do is get them in their car seat & home as fast as possible regardless of who much they don't want to be in their car seat so that if they do transition to full blown melt down mode i can deal with it in the privacy of my own home.

 

I totally agree and the closer we get to one year the more we seemed relax. We used to try to keep their sippie cups, paci's, spoons, etc. separated, but gave up on that when Max would grab a pink sippie cup. We can tell the level of fussiness and only grab them up quickly when they have fallen. My sister grabs her DS up at the slightest bit of a fuss.

 

I think that's more the difference between experienced parents and non experienced parents. With 2 you are getting twice the "on the job" experience as a singleton. BUT I will say that I have 2 singletons first and I was never a "helicopter" parent, but I also grew up around kids, babysat my whole life (starting about age 12/13), and so I've always been more laid back than dh's cousins. We had our first babies just 2 months apart, and while they would sterilize every bottle, never let them play on the floor or get dirty, pick up every paci that fell on the floor and put it away to be re-sterilize, most of that stuff didn't bother me as much. If ds was hurt I'd pick him up, but as you say, if he's just fussing, I'd let him be for awhile!

It may seem like a "singleton vs twin" thing but it's more an "experience vs non-experienced" parent!