twin infants and sleep

We are parents of 4-month old b/g twins and are trying to solve the million dollar question of how to keep them from waking/keeping each other awake at bedtime. Our boy is slightly ahead of our girl developmentally, and feel he's ready for the 'progressive waiting' approach, where we let him cry but also let him know we're there to check on him every few minutes (progressively longer through the evening and over subsequent nights). We've only done this 2 nights, but are wondering what to do with our daughter while our son's upstairs in the shared crib crying it out.....do we have her sleep temporarily in something like a pack-n-play downstairs until he's fully asleep upstairs? And then swap places after he's learned, and she's ready to learn?

Crying it out seems like a technique better suited for singletons....does anyone have suggestions/tricks to making this work? The twins seem comforted by each other's company, so it would be so sad to separate them into 2 cribs already or, sadder still...separate rooms....?!?! Help!

 

You'll get a variety of responses about this, I'm sure! Are you CIO to get him to fall asleep at bedtime or to stay alseep and sleep through the night? Is he still eating during the middle of the night?

We didn't do CIO until our boys were almost 10 months old and somehow had gotten into the habit of waking up every hour after I had rocked them to sleep. At that point they were in the same room and separate cribs - and we had a white noise machine going. Honestly, the crying didn't and still doesn't bother the other one. I can't offer advice about CIO at any age younger b/c we didn't attempt it then.

At your babies' ages we were using swings (but we didn't turn them on) and a bouncy seat for them to sleep in. They slept much better in that upright and cozy position than they did in their cribs. But I always had to put them down asleep. But we got there eventually...by 10.5 months they both soothing themselves to sleep and sleeping through most nights.

It is hard! And the sleep deprivation is horrible!! Hang in there!! :hug:

 

We only had to do CIO with our DS. DD was always a good sleeper. We waited until about 7 months. We moved DD into our room and had her sleep in a pack-n-play for the week or so that it took. And we had DS CIO in his own crib/room.

At 4 months it was still kind of horrendous for us, so I don't have any advice for your "now." Just know that it will get better!!

Good luck!

 

We arent CIO people at all, but for those that it has worked for (and correct me if Im wrong) I think most people wait until at least the 6 month mark and/or OK from their pedi.

Four months just seems SOO young in my opinion. At that stage of the game we did whatever it took, swings, bouncies, sleeping together, sleeping apart, rocking you name it.

Hope someone else will have better advice for you! Have you and your partner considered splitting the night in shifts so you each get a decent chunk of sleep?

 

I know that I am going to slaughtered by saying this but it is what we had to do. We did CIO at 6 weeks. They tag teamed crying for an hour. Yes, it was hard but the first day was the worst and everyday has been better and better. In fact, this is the first week that they are STTN and I always have put them in their cribs when they are awake.

Once they are put in, I do not pick them up. The biggest thing that I recommend, consistency. If you have DH or someone else help you, everyone has to be on the same page or it does not work.

GL,
Jenn

 

QUOTE(E&Msmom @ Jun 19 2009, 01:12 AM) [snapback]1360323[/snapback]
We arent CIO people at all, but for those that it has worked for (and correct me if Im wrong) I think most people wait until at least the 6 month mark and/or OK from their pedi.

Four months just seems SOO young in my opinion. At that stage of the game we did whatever it took, swings, bouncies, sleeping together, sleeping apart, rocking you name it.

Hope someone else will have better advice for you! Have you and your partner considered splitting the night in shifts so you each get a decent chunk of sleep?


Did you check with your pedi about CIO? They could tell you better based on weight, etc. We're not CIO people here, either, but I can tell you that mine were very noisy and they learned quickly how to sleep through the other's complaints. I never let them cry for long periods, though, so I don't know if that would make a difference. My DD needs to fuss/sing herself to sleep, and she's done that for a long time. Her singing/babbling/whining combo actually helps her brother fall asleep! On the nights when she goes down too quickly, he has a harder time falling asleep ardon: So whether or not you decide on CIO, you may want to try leaving them together for a few days just to see if they get used to each other. I know I think that was one of the best things we did because now they both sleep through all kinds of noise. Once they are asleep, we can be as loud as we want and they don't wake back up because they are used to a little noise!

 

One more thing - at 4 months, we were also in the "whatever it takes" mindset, so we used swings and bouncies as needed. They always slept in their cribs at night, but naps were with bouncies for at least the first 5 months :blush: It worked well for us, though, because they took nice long 2 our naps and I really think that helped them sleep better at night (the whole "sleep begets sleep" thing). I hope you get some sleep soon!

 

THANK YOU everyone for all the comments and great suggestions! Our pedi has ok'd CIO for these guys (4.5 months) but we've only tried with our son so far, and it seems to already be going fairly well (with repeat visits to him crying in his crib already lessening after just a couple nights). I think we'll keep going, and perhaps try with our daughter side by side as one of you suggested, since they tend to sleep thru each other's crying during the day. The other idea of bringing the 'sleeper' into our room while the 'cryer' learns in the nursery sounds like it would work with our kids, too. Lastly, it would be amazing to make all the noise we want while they're asleep!

During the day we, too, do whatever it takes, and they fall asleep in bouncy seats, swings, etc. I'm not ready to 'establish' nap time by taking them to their cribs yet....we'll see.....but they are starting to sleep at fairly regular times thruout the day, and sometimes even at the same time as each other! Here's to seeing the light at the end of the 'twin' tunnel! Yea!

Separate note: could someone direct me to a listing of all the acronyms? There are still a few I'm trying to figure out, thanks!

 

We've been doing CIO w/ one of the twins since about the 3.5 month mark. No matter what we'd do (leave him in swing, bouncy, hold him, whatever) as soon as we'd put him in the crib he'd start screaming. The other twin would goto sleep (how, I dont know w/ all that yelling!) After about 5-8 minutes of crying, he was asleep. He still does this to some degree, but instead of crying in the crib, he starts crying around 6:30pm letting us know he's about ready for bed. Their bedtime is usually 7-7:30. I think you need to do what works for you and follow your instinct.

 

QUOTE(Kathaleen @ Jun 19 2009, 11:49 AM) [snapback]1360727[/snapback]
Lastly, it would be amazing to make all the noise we want while they're asleep!


I would invest in a white noise machine for the nursery. That will help alot.

QUOTE
During the day we, too, do whatever it takes, and they fall asleep in bouncy seats, swings, etc. I'm not ready to 'establish' nap time by taking them to their cribs yet....we'll see.....but they are starting to sleep at fairly regular times thruout the day, and sometimes even at the same time as each other!


Once they started to fall asleep at predictable times we started getting them into their cribs. We did not do CIO (cry it out). Mine did not sleep through the night (STTN) until they were 9 months old. They were still taking full bottles at night, so I knew they were hungry.

A great book for help in the sleep department is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. It is great in that you dont have to read the entire book to start getting some advice. GL!

 

Our girls are 4 months today and we've been using the CIO for a few weeks. I wouldn't even call it crying, it's more of a fussing it out. It works for us and I'm sure they are too young but after a week of them screaming non stop no matter what we tried, my DH and I realized we were bothering them more by trying to soothe them than we were helping in the long run. We still soothe them, but sometimes they just need to get it out of their systems so to speak. If one is already down I let them fuss it out in my arms, however I've realized for the most part one doesn't really bother the other if they are fussing. Our girls have slept in seperate cribs since they came home. They spent 4 1/2 weeks in the NICU in seperate cribs so I think they are more comfortable that way. We've also recently started them having their afternoon nap in their cribs since they seem distracted by noises and movements if they are out in the living room with me. They nap better there and hopefully when the time comes they will understand this is your bed, this is where you sleep. For some reason for their morning nap, they can sleep anywhere. All I know is since we've tried the CIO method they've been sleeping through the night, pretty much for a month now!