Twin guilt

So my oldest who is 4 said, "mommy, can we watch my baby video?" Of course, I said yes, so we put it in and I sat there realizing I basically captured every coo of her and I have hours and hours of video of her from birth till about 2 years old. How much do I have of the twins...not much. I have about 15 minutes total from the hospital and about 30 minutes total of when we brought them home. I have NOTHING those first 12 week which were insane. I started videoing them more around 4 months, but not nearly as much as I have of my first. I feel so guility not capturing those first few months....I hope they understand just how crazy it was. Bad Mommy. Feel sooooo bad....sooo guilty.

Anyone else feel that way too?

 

Uh-oh... I haven't taken any video and these are my first! And I haven't been recording their milestones. I want to, but I'm a minimalist and I would rather record things online and haven't figured out how/where. I feel guitly, too! I need to sort it out.

 

Absolutely! Hours of video of my first, slowly dwindling with every child since & not much at all of the twins. I feel horrible about it too! I do, however, have tons of photos of the twins so at least that's something. I keep reminding myself to get out the video camera, but it's hard to find the time!

 

Our twins are our oldest children. I did as much as I possibly could during their first year. Pictures, video, blogging about milestones, baby books, etc. I'm very much about keeping things equal for their baby sister and doing the same things for her, but it's SO hard. I've tried to video tape more recently and I blog about her milestones so I have a record to go back to and fill in her baby book later. My biggest guilty mommy feeling lately is that I didn't get a picture with her on Mother's Day. This breaks my heart I could cry right now just thinking about it. We didn't go to church that day (I've been so scared to take her to any place where there are a ton of people since being in the hospital w/ rsv and pneumonia at 7 weeks old) and we didn't get dressed up and do pictures like we normally do. I hope one day she'll understand why I don't have a picture with her like I do with her brother and sister the year before. I did save rose petals that my DH gave me to put in her baby book. I figured that was something to help remember the day. I feel guilt about a lot of things these days - not getting the older babies out like I used to, not taking everyone out for walks like I should, not taking the babies to church more, not having time to prepare meals like I would like to. My DH and Mom say it's not true, but I always feel like I'm short-changing someone and the only consolation I have is that I am giving it my all every day. So whatever I don't do or get around to doing, it's not because I'm not trying, it's because there's only one mom and three babies. I didn't know that there was so much guilt that went along with parenting, but then again I know it's more of a mommy thing and I just have to do what I can do and hug, kiss and tell my babies I love them. Wow, sorry this was long, but you are not alone in the way you feel.

 

This is us too. We do have video of the kids but not much. I don't even think I've written in their baby books since they were 8 or 9 months old and even before that my record keeping is not that great. Every time I think to do it, something else distracts me :blush:

 

Ditto over here.

We have oodles of pictures and video of our oldest daughter, but much less of the twins. I'm trying to get better at it now that the chaos is settling down a little bit.

 

I have a lot of guilt but for me it is not about having enough of the videos, photos of the twins it is what my oldest went through when the twins arrived. She turned three shortly after they were born and us being young parents that felt we needed to do everything perfect way over scheduled and critiqued her and made life for her harder than it needed to be. Both DH and I feel extreme guilt about that but we can't go back and change things so we've told her that we are both so sorry for putting so much pressure on her.

As far as feeling guilty about not having enough of the keepsake stuff, I understand feeling that way, but in reality they most likely won't care too much. I have tons of video of my oldest and not much of the twins but they don't seem to mind.

 

My saving grace is my camera, because it's records video's as well! I think my middle dd was the one who got shortchanged, because our camera didn't take video's, and it was too much hassle to get the video camera out!

We bought a better camera just before the twins were born, and it takes great video's that are easy to upload and edit, so I have much more video than i did when Kaelyn was little.

:hug: I'm willing to bet our kids aren't going to care when they get older, about who had more videos or pictures taken, as long as you are doing the best you can do and loving them with everything you have! :wub:

 

Same here. :grouphug:
I have 2 older children and feel extreme guilt over the chaos that is our homelife and the lack of time that I have for them.
Before the twins arrived, I worked part time so that I did everything with them - the school runs, lessons, homework, trips to the park etc etc. I haven't done much at all since 3 months before babies were born.
I know that it can't be avoided and one day should get better, but doesn't stop me from feeling like a bad mum and feeling guilty. :grouphug:

 

I decided shortly after they were born to do a video (our camera does pretty good video) for each baby each month. Well, it worked really well until this month. I made it through the horrible first 3 months of no sleep remembering. When did I forget? 8 months?! But all told, we keep the camera right next to the computer (luxury of them not-so-mobile) and do video and pics regularly. If there were older kids at home, it probably wouldn't get done, though.