Twin Fights!

Hi there! Hoping you have some advice for taming my twin 20 month old boys. They fight CONSTANTLY over toys and one of them in particular likes to win his battles by hitting his brother over his head with toys - and hard!!! Sometimes he also does it for no reason. I keep putting him in "time out" but i'm not sure if at this age he gets it. Can anyone give any recommendations/help that might curb this bad behavior?

 

Hi! Looks like our boys are about the same age, and doing the same kinds of things to each other. Ugh, it's frustrating. I can only tell you what I'm doing, but I can't say it works 100%. I just have to stay on top of them, try to stop the hitting before it happens. I know when the grunting, pulling, etc starts that the hitting is coming next. So I try to redirect whomever is trying to steal the toy with another toy. I tell them when ____ is done with the toy that he can have a turn. Normally when I get involved and offer up something else appealing, the one who wouldn't let go drops whatever he had and moves on.
If the fighting is bad enough sometimes I have to move the toy into time out - put it out of sight and get them both redirected.

As far as if it gets to the hitting, I have been doing time outs with who ever hits. I do 1 minute. Place them up against a wall tell them briefly why they are in time out, and then when they are done, they have to say sorry and give their brother a hug. I don't know that they get it 100%, but I think it's helping a little bit...

 

Even if they don't understand "time out", it gives them time and space to regain their composure. Also, I love the idea of toy time out and will use if we run into this issue too.

 

We used "toy time out" a LOT during the Second Year (heck, we still do!), and redirection if fighting starts. I also taught my boys to sign/say "sorry" very early on. I made them say sorry when they hit each other, even if I had to guide their hands into the sorry sign, and I made them kiss each other when they hit.