Twin equity

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Snittens, Sep 29, 2009.

  1. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    I saw this cute doll that Ainsley would love at Wally World yesterday in the clearance bin, only $5.00. I should have just bought it, but then I was thinking, do I need to get a comparable item for Bea? Could they share it, even though it seems like more of an Ainsley thing?
    What do you do when you see just one of something? I've had this too with clearance rack clothes, like I saw a princess nightgown for pretty cheap, but really, what am I going to do with just one?
     
  2. luvrkids

    luvrkids Well-Known Member

    I'm the same way, I will not buy unless I can buy two. First of all I would feel guilty plus they would definitely fight over it, but they would most likely fight over Items that were not the same too. Not clothes though:) Although if your trying to teach them to share one toy (maybe) but I think I would still buy two:)
     
  3. brandycaviness

    brandycaviness Well-Known Member

    Kelly, If you figure this out, let me know. I would feel super guilty for buying one something and not the other. It doesn't have to be the same thing, but it has to be something.
     
  4. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    I have b/g twins so I wouldn't buy them both dolls ;) but I do always buy the same amount for both. :rolleyes: Even if I'm not looking for say clothes and I see something cute/cheap for one, I have to buy the same piece of clothing (but for their sex). :gah:
     
  5. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    I generally try to get some equivalent for the other twin, but it doesn't have to be the same item. You could make a mental note to find some kind of doll for Bea (or some totally different toy, if she's not into dolls). I wouldn't have them share it -- since you thought it was perfect for Ainsley, she will probably think so too, and not want to share!

    With clothes, I never buy two the same unless it's going to be a special gift (for instance, I bought two pairs of Steelers pajamas :ibiggrin: ) or unless I'll never find something similar. In your case, there are lots of princess nightgowns in the world -- I would have just bought it and figured I'd find another one somewhere, sometime.

    But I never introduce just one "new" clothing item at a time. If I bought a princess nightgown, I'd buy another new nightgown or PJs so they could both wear the "new" things on the same night -- otherwise it causes strife. (If, for whatever reason, I can only buy one thing right then, I hide it until I get a chance to get the second one.) HTH!
     
  6. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    Yep, I have done the buy one, hide it and then hope I find another similar/equivalent item. As it turns out with the doll, I did just run back out and get it, since it was in the clearance bin, I was afraid it would be gone. I bought Bea a Barbie fairy doll, who knew Barbies were so cheap? That was only $6.00, so fairly equitable. And yes, Ainsley loves the doll and there's no way she would have shared it!

    Part of it though is also the bargain hunter in me. I hate to just get one item on sale/cheap and then have to buy a full-price item just to keep the equity thing, like in the case of the clearance nightgown.
     
  7. dfaut

    dfaut 30,000-Post Club

    That's great that it worked out!!! :good:
     
  8. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    I will usually just get it and put it aside until I find something or have an occasion to give it. Right now, I have exactly ONE holiday gift bought, because it is something that Marcus really wants, and I happened to stumble across it.
     
  9. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I would usually buy it and put it aside if I can't find something else. I'm glad you were able to find something comparable. And yes, some of the Barbie dolls are pretty cheap.
     
  10. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    I guess I'm a mean Mommy, I buy one something without the other. But, I suppose they are used to it by now.[​IMG]
     
  11. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I always feel I need to buy the same amount for each of my kids. If I see one thing for someone I feel I need to find something else for the other 2 as well. I like the idea of buying it and putting it aside though until something is found for the other kids.
     
  12. Ellen Barr

    Ellen Barr Well-Known Member

    Another mean mom, here. I think I used to try to be more equitable before they started really having different preferences for things like clothes. Now if I find a pair of the pants that Sam loves, I'll buy them, even if there's nothing comparable for Kiko there. And I tell them, "Well, they only had this one pair on sale, and I snapped them up. I'll find something for you, Kiko, don't worry!" But, it is easier to explain that stuff when they are older. When they are under 5, it's still all about "fairness".
     
  13. cricket1

    cricket1 Well-Known Member

    I usually pick it up and stash it away. I figure I will either find something else that will fit with the other child or if not, we have LOTS of birthdays we get invited to.
     
  14. 2plusbgtwins

    2plusbgtwins Well-Known Member

    I definitely cannot give one of my children something without giving to the other.

    I like the idea of buying the sale item and putting it away until you have something for everyone, or if that child has a birthday coming up, keep it for a gift.

    I really hate the thought of just buying one child something though. I was buying shoes and found 3 of the children nice shoes for reasonable prices, and didnt get one of my DD shoes until a couple of weeks later, and it really bothered me.
     
  15. Becca34

    Becca34 Well-Known Member

    Mine are younger and still share pretty much everything (or rather, fight and grab for the same toy, even if there are two of them), so I don't think anything of buying only one thing, since it ends up being community property anyway. Even when they're older, I don't think I'll worry about it much.

    But, I am more concerned about making things "even" in other areas -- for instance, if I'm sharing photos, I feel odd if I just show a picture of Kevan & Karina, so I almost always add a picture of Nadia, too.

    I did something ridiculous recently -- we moved K&K to twin beds, and a buddy of DH's works for Simmons, so he got us a really good discount on nice plush mattresses. Even though Nadia's twin mattress was totally fine and only 3.5 years old, I went ahead and got her a new one, too, because I wanted hers to be as nice as K&K's. (Sold her old one on Craig's List, so it wasn't a total loss.)

    With the doll, though, I probably would have bought it without a second thought.
     
  16. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    With the doll thing, I even had to buy Caleb a toy, even though he's too young to notice! :lol:

    My DH managed to do non-equity, and they understood. Maybe I should just give them more credit. He got a Woot! shirt that was perfect for Bea - This One - because Bea eats pb&j's for lunch every day. He explained to Ainsley that he would be on the lookout for a perfect shirt for her too. She was fine with it.
     
  17. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    I would have bought the doll and then waited to give it to her after you found something comparable for her sister.

    BTW, LOVE the PB&J shirt :D I have one who could live on PB&J too!
     
  18. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    Ha Ha...now the bed thing we are doing "equal". When we moved Rachel into a big girl bed we just bought her the metal bedframe. She has been asking for a headboard and footboard ever since playing in her friend A's amazingly decorated princess room. H & N are getting big girl beds [​IMG] for their birthday next month and we are getting all three "equal" headboards/footboards. (probably not exactly the same, we haven't picked them out yet)


    ETA: We thought about just getting metal frames for H & N for their birthday and then getting the headboards/footboards for Christmas but then we would be buying two twin frames and only using them for two months which really wouldn't make sense. H & N will be so excited to get out of their cribs they won't care about the timing. We don't normally get the non-birthday kid(s) presents, but I know some of our friends do that.
     
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